selfsabotager Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Why am I still so devastated after 5 weeks? Why am I an emotional wreck when he's thriving with his ex? Why do I continue to beat myself up and blame myself for the demise of the relationship when I clearly KNOW he attributed to it as well? Why can't I seem to get out of bed and go about my life like a normal person? Why can't I let go of the thought that I'll NEVER hear from him again? I just want to go back to being the happy-go-lucky person I was before we broke up. I just want to except that it's over and move on. I just want to stop hurting.
SimonSerenade Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I feel for you now I really do, before my recent ex I was with someone for just over 3 years, even had a child together, at first she led me on and I pined for her and did everything to get her back to no avail, about a month after when I was dropping my child off at her house I saw this guy she nearly got with instead of me way back in the beginning of our relationship, he was walking back from her house and when I got to her house she was in nothing more than a silk robe, my heart fell through my ass, I didn't ask her at that point if what I saw was what I thought, I couldn't bare the answer but a few weeks later a close friend of ours confirmed it and told me she left me for him, I thought I would never get over it but I did, why your feeling now is natural. It's so unbearable but it natural, it took me months because I pined for her still and didn't face the world after that, in the end I went out more, forced myself into new places and had fun days out, spent more time with family, the hardest thing I had to so was tell myself over and over "there's no going back now, not when there's somebody else between us" it all felt very tainted, no way could I go back and forgive that, it did horrible things to my confidence but I kept going and kept telling myself she did this and wi regret it, I moved on.... Hard as it was to see back then an you will too, believe in yourself.
Author selfsabotager Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 Everybody keeps telling me I will get over this, but it just feels like I won't. I just don't understand how something so wonderful could turn into this crazy mess. He spent our whole relationship telling me how he didn't want to be with her (even though he slept with her 3 weeks into our dating) and how she was all wrong for him and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. Who was he trying to convince: me or himself?
CorridorE Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Why am I still so devastated after 5 weeks? Why am I an emotional wreck when he's thriving with his ex? Why do I continue to beat myself up and blame myself for the demise of the relationship when I clearly KNOW he attributed to it as well? Why can't I seem to get out of bed and go about my life like a normal person? Why can't I let go of the thought that I'll NEVER hear from him again? I just want to go back to being the happy-go-lucky person I was before we broke up. I just want to except that it's over and move on. I just want to stop hurting. It'll be okay... it's not an easy road but it does end somewhere. I'm at 4 months post BU now and I'm just now starting to feel better. I still have down days, still cry sometimes, but I'm beginning to feel like myself again and be hopeful for the future. I also blame myself for things that I know were not my fault. He cheated and somehow I still feel guilty, like I did something that forced him into it. Well it's not true - couples should talk openly about any issues or distance they are feeling, not cheat... I did nothing wrong and I'm finally allowing myself to believe it. After a 1/3 of year I'm still struggling with the idea that I've been forgotten and I might never hear from him again. Despite the bad, he was my best friend for almost three years. But it's finally starting to get better, and it will for you too.
FeelingCrazy Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 We were together for 5 years. About 18 months agao we/he decided to move back to his home town (different country). I followed----lived with his parents.....was patient when he worked 2 jobs and didnt have time for me anymore..... then I lost it....I decided to spend some time with my family for a change (as we were thinking about moving away again)..... So I went to my sister...about 1000km away from him.....but I didnt leave him or US! We didnt talk everyday...we didnt write every day.... he was busy......I was waiting.... He went out drinking with work collegues or was working.....I was waiting... He visited me for the Easter weekend....it was fantastic! He left on Monday and as I know now...went straight to her.... 3 weeks later we were supposed to meet...he cancelled.....I had a bad feeling....and finally asked him...is there someone else.....??? Never thought he would say yes!!! He wanted to marry me...have children..... I dropped ecerything and went to see him......after a few days he agreed to break it off with her....only to reconcider 3 days later......he couldnt stop thinking about her.....his work collegue...... Now I know he had been staying at her place....they cooked togther......went out together...... Now he wants her How can he just replace me? what happened? We were supposed to move next month!!!! He said he was lonely----felt lost.....but he didnt talk to me...he just cheated.....and not even a one night stand....no, he started a relationship!!!!! I miss him, I still love him......I cant stop thinking about him........and her..... I know I should stop, get on with my life......but it just hurts sooo much..... I feel responsible.....dont want to give up on us........but I guess it is also too late already......
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