Harradin Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 This is more of a vent then anything else, I just needed somewhere to write it all down. 7 months NC tomorrow, 8 months since the breakup in a week. A couple of weeks ago, one of the friends who knows my ex, told me that my ex did the same thing to my "friend" as she did to me, with one of his friends, who is also in the same social group! But the difference was that she cheated on him, although when I asked her why she left me for him and whether she cheated on me, she couldn't answer me. Which suggests that she must have cheated, especially if she cheated so easily on him. Life has been busy with exams and my exercise etc, but I've had no urges to speak to her for a few months until the start of this week where the urges are steadily coming back and the feelings have come back (they sort have never left but they're making an effect on me.) But considering I've not heard a thing from her in 7 months, I know really she won't contact me especially reconillication. I wouldn't take her back anyway, she betrayed me on so many levels I could never trust her again, no matter how I feel for her. I'm starting to realise all the romantic gestures etc I did for her was because I felt unappreciated in the relationship and wanted her to do something for me and hoped it'd set something that made her want to do something back. So I guess when she cheated and left me, she never really cared that much about me in the first place. Now the urges etc are coming back, I think its because its exam period so I have no lectures and just been inside revising or gymming so I've been pretty bored. Although I think its more of a sign that I need to get back out there and start dating again, I've spent a good few months building my self confidence and esteem so I should be prepared. Although I'm not going to go out there and date anything I see, I'll just live my life how I want and if a woman turns up, great! If not then not to worry, I'll be happier on my own anyway. But all's good
aisuru Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 I understand. You can think you're over them, and then something hits us to suggest you aren't. Get out and make some new friends. Go on dates. Sometimes, going through the motions really helps with that last step of healing.
denxnis Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 It definitely is hard to let go of someone after you've spent so much time together. Instead of trying to push yourself into the dating scene why not pick-up a kindle or find something to keep progressing your life, in addition to the gym. I tried to force myself to date a few people but most of the time I was just let down because I was never fully interested in this other girl rather I was trying to fill a void. If you meet someone you like then great, forcing yourself to meet someone on the other hand isn't so great. Just my two cents. Best of luck. 1
Author Harradin Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 I understand. You can think you're over them, and then something hits us to suggest you aren't. Get out and make some new friends. Go on dates. Sometimes, going through the motions really helps with that last step of healing. I hear you, I'm defo gonna go and do it . It definitely is hard to let go of someone after you've spent so much time together. Instead of trying to push yourself into the dating scene why not pick-up a kindle or find something to keep progressing your life, in addition to the gym. I tried to force myself to date a few people but most of the time I was just let down because I was never fully interested in this other girl rather I was trying to fill a void. If you meet someone you like then great, forcing yourself to meet someone on the other hand isn't so great. Just my two cents. Best of luck. I got back in judo after 5 years out and started up kickboxing so when my final uni exam for this year is done, I plan on finding some more martial arts (Krav Maga looks interesting) so I'm definitely gonna be busy! I don't really feel a void now really, its just this week where the feelings etc came back. I'm going out 3 times next week so I can hopefully get wasted, have a laugh and maybe score with a couple of chicks. Tbh I'd be happy to go on a date or see new girls, not to fill a void but just so I know there are girls out there. But it mostly happens when you least expect it so I'd be just as content to live life and meeting someone just out of chance rather then forcing it as you say .
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