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Update.. have not posted in a while

jags2bowl27

By jags2bowl27
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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jags2bowl27 Established Member

jags2bowl27

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Hey everyone!

 

I wanted to check in after not being on here for a bit. I can tell you this site has helped a lot... mostly just helping with being strong and realizing what is actually is going on. I have now been broken up with my ex for 8 months or so... just about 4 months no contact. Here is what the agenda looks like

 

December: Met with ex when we were both in town... we decided that now isnt the time to try again as we are long distance

 

January: I wrote her a message telling her off our of frustration... prob shouldnt have done it but i explained to her that she was being selfish (started to make a come back when she found out i was talking to someone else)

 

Feb: Her sister checks in to say hi

 

March: she wishes me happy birthday, I just replied thanks i hope all is well... she wrote something after then i ignored

 

couple days later she texts again.. i ignored

 

couple weeks later she texts again about something she saw... ignored

 

Note.. she is still speaking to the guy she left me for

 

End of April: I get a fb messages saying I miss you (at like 2am)

 

Last week.. I get a phone call, i think she was back in town

 

 

I think I have done a good job with staying strong but honestly, I do miss her... I just know she isnt ready for a relationship again, nor has she said she wants to be in one. I truly believe if she wants back, wont she come out and "pleed her case." As of right now, I see what is going on clearly and that is what I am most proud of. I have spoken to a few girls here and there, I have not waited around but I have not found anything close to what I had with my ex. I honestly think she is going to try and make a come back in a few months as she will be graduating and getting into the real world. I just dont know if my love I had for her is strong enough to eventually open my self up. Sometimes i feel like im being immature by not answering her. Deep down, what she is doing to her guy that she left me for is wrong... and im disappointed in her. Then again I dont really know what they are... together, not together, FWB?

 

What do you guys all think.... I would like to think down the road we could maybe work this out and chalk this up to her being young. And dont get me wrong, over the last few months, I have realized i am no so innocent, I could have done more... way more. Example: I would put up a fight just to drive 20min to her parents house when she flew back to town, but then i will drive 45min to see some random chick i met? That doesn't seem logical lol.

 

Just looking for some insight on what ppl think. Ive picked up a lot of new hobbies too btw and have been really enjoying life... I have not initiated any contact with her in 4 months, got through her birthday too w/o budging

Edited by jags2bowl27
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jags2bowl27 Established Member

jags2bowl27

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Would really like some insight on this

justletgo07 Established Member

justletgo07

Posted
Posted

Sounds like you're doing the right things. Nothing she has sent you has really warranted any sort of response. I think if she calls again you can answer, just keep it short.

Compromize Established Member

Compromize

Posted
Posted

Just be careful man. Even if you talk to her and she says she wants you back, it doesn't mean anything. My case in point; she said she wanted me back 3 weeks ago and I have heard from her in the form of 2 text messages since then saying she is afraid if we do get back together I will leave HER. She was the one who left me by the way.

 

If she says outright "I want you back, I will do anything to get us back, I will put in the work with you together, what will it take to show you, prove to you? I want to see you in person right now, I don't want to wait I want you back now" than it's go time and you have hit the proverbial jackpot.

 

Mine said "I want you back, but not yet, maybe not ever". It really hurt but with each passing day it makes me say "***** you!" a little more loudly and clearly. I am regaining the power to ignore her and reject her like she so easily does to me.

 

If you are thinking "down the road we can work this out" you are waiting and hoping. You will pass up any opportunity at someone who REALLY wants to be with you between now and "down the road". And when "down the road" gets here, you may find out she is happily in love with someone else and you have to go through the process all over again because you put your faith in it working out between you eventually. The same mistake I made and I found out she was dating. So much for being a good man and being patient.

 

Save yourself the pain and just live your life like she is not going to be back in it at any point in the future. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised but in all likelihood in most cases once they are gone they are not coming back. Especially after 4 months. Just keep moving forward brother.

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jags2bowl27 Established Member

jags2bowl27

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Just be careful man. Even if you talk to her and she says she wants you back, it doesn't mean anything. My case in point; she said she wanted me back 3 weeks ago and I have heard from her in the form of 2 text messages since then saying she is afraid if we do get back together I will leave HER. She was the one who left me by the way.

 

If she says outright "I want you back, I will do anything to get us back, I will put in the work with you together, what will it take to show you, prove to you? I want to see you in person right now, I don't want to wait I want you back now" than it's go time and you have hit the proverbial jackpot.

 

Mine said "I want you back, but not yet, maybe not ever". It really hurt but with each passing day it makes me say "***** you!" a little more loudly and clearly. I am regaining the power to ignore her and reject her like she so easily does to me.

 

If you are thinking "down the road we can work this out" you are waiting and hoping. You will pass up any opportunity at someone who REALLY wants to be with you between now and "down the road". And when "down the road" gets here, you may find out she is happily in love with someone else and you have to go through the process all over again because you put your faith in it working out between you eventually. The same mistake I made and I found out she was dating. So much for being a good man and being patient.

 

Save yourself the pain and just live your life like she is not going to be back in it at any point in the future. Maybe you will be pleasantly surprised but in all likelihood in most cases once they are gone they are not coming back. Especially after 4 months. Just keep moving forward brother.

 

thanks man... appreciate the response and honestly until she says exactly that, i wont budge. I am not going to be put into a situation like you said... she tried to do that already when she found out about my new girl. I have done great... she is the one that needs work. I know what I needed to do to change for ME and my future relationships... I dont think she has even taken the time to reflect.

 

Its sad

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