girlie123 Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 i have been with my current boyfriend for about a year and a half, with one short pseudo-breakup about 6 months ago. while we were broken up, i was seeing another guy. the situation with that guy turned awkward and we stopped being romantic but remained friends. i then got back together with my ex, the guy i'm with now. we were a very serious couple before we broke up, planning for marriage and a life together and such. when we broke up, it was because i started fearing that BOTH of us (not just me - i'm his first girlfriend) were making a mistake by being together so young. he was 19 and i was 18 when we started dating, and now we are almost 21/20. the guy i was seeing while i was single also encouraged a breakup, as an advocate of "having fun in college." well, things were never the same since we got back together. it almost seemed forced, like we were just doing it out of comfort instead of the love we had before. this week i brought up the weirdness of our relationship and he agreed, so i asked for space. now the guy i was seeing (to whom i am very attracted to and compatible with) has started pursuing me again. since i told my boyfriend i needed space, i have been spending time with him. i refused to have sex out of respect for my current boyfriend, but i would love to see how a relationship with this person might turn out - not to mention relationships with other people! is it too early for me to be in such a committed relationship, as a young person? do these young-people-in-love relationships really work out in the long-term, or is there too much change in both of our futures (graduate schools, job pursuit) for it to be stable? is it possible to love someone and really really care about them but still know that it's not the right time? (i always say that if my bf and i had met 3 years from now, as independent adults, it would be so much easier) is it okay to be attracted to other people and feel suffocated by a relationship, even when you love the person you are with? i know i need to ask for a break from my boyfriend before i get involved with another guy. i would never want to insult him and disrespect him by being with someone else. i just feel like i'm in this relationship out of comfort, and that i am too scared to see what being single is really like. any input would be delightful!!!!!
Merin Posted September 27, 2004 Posted September 27, 2004 I think you've answered your own questions... Yes, I believe you can Love someone, but not be IN Love with them. Yes it is normal to have an attraction for other people even if you're in a relationship, it just isn't okay to act upon it, IF this relationship has been mutually agreed upon to be exclusive. I think you already know what it is you want to do here.... and I think as long as you've been straight up with your boyfriend regarding what you want (regardless of what it is) that it's okay. Good Luck
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