happythroughout Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Is this guy self-centered? He checks his reflection each time he passes by a mirror, he seems to only care about himself (ignoring some people's feelings) and only does things that make him feel good. He also dominates conversations and likes it when people agree with him (he already seems confident enough). He seems like a terrible person to date yet there's a little bit of attraction. Have you dated someone like that? How was it like? Good idea or next?
mm4184 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 On to the next! The guy I'm dating is kind of the same. He knows he's good looking so it's hard because both of us feel that we bring more to the table than the other so he does not seem to feel the need to try as hard. We need HUMBLE men.
Author happythroughout Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 On to the next! The guy I'm dating is kind of the same. He knows he's good looking so it's hard because both of us feel that we bring more to the table than the other so he does not seem to feel the need to try as hard. We need HUMBLE men. And someone that has a good heart and is caring toward everyone. How is it possible that I have some feelings for such a badass like that self-centered guy then?!
StanMusial Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 No way, axe-murderers are way worse. You should date that guy all the time.
crederer Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 I find most people that behave this way usually have low self esteem and are overcompensating for it. Would a confident person constantly be checking himself in the mirror or would he already know he looks good? 1
mortensorchid Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 You already know the answer to this one, like the first person who responded said. 1
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 I find most people that behave this way usually have low self esteem and are overcompensating for it. Would a confident person constantly be checking himself in the mirror or would he already know he looks good? Not quite. Some may call such a person vain, no? That he already knows he looks good but he is vain so likes checking his reflection. You already know the answer to this one, like the first person who responded said. I just am a little attracted to him. It's a pity.
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Is this guy self-centered? He checks his reflection each time he passes by a mirror, he seems to only care about himself (ignoring some people's feelings) and only does things that make him feel good. He also dominates conversations and likes it when people agree with him (he already seems confident enough). He seems like a terrible person to date yet there's a little bit of attraction. Have you dated someone like that? How was it like? Good idea or next? Such people are worse for everything involving a relationship. You're attracted to his looks and perhaps a little bit of your own insecurity feeds into that. Let him be...
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 Such people are worse for everything involving a relationship. You're attracted to his looks and perhaps a little bit of your own insecurity feeds into that. Let him be... Can you please elaborate? What do you mean "a little bit of my own insecurity?" How do the two gel?
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 All of what you said combined seem to point towards a narcissist. Narcissists cannot love anyone, they can simulate feelings, but can have none of love. They can also be very charming and attractive. They are actually deeply insecure and overcompensate showing extreme confidence. I would run away, break away from the attraction. Google narcissistic personality disorder and see if your guy fits. 1
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 All of what you said combined seem to point towards a narcissist. Narcissists cannot love anyone, they can simulate feelings, but can have none of love. They can also be very charming and attractive. They are actually deeply insecure and overcompensate showing extreme confidence. I would run away, break away from the attraction. Google narcissistic personality disorder and see if your guy fits. There are some signs/symptoms but not all. However, he's been in long-term relationships. How does that happen?
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Can you please elaborate? What do you mean "a little bit of my own insecurity?" How do the two gel? I'm not suggesting that this is the case, but some people are prone to becoming attracted to attributes, features, characteristics that they know are a detriment. Or more accurately, dismissing them b/c they are eager to having a relationship. The insecurity that I am suggesting is that of a self-need to have or be involved in a relationship even at the expense of dismissing signs that would alert one to avoiding it with that person. Do you have a NEED to be in a relationship? This can also manifest itself in a way where the person begins to think whether he/she will be able to find anyone better at that moment, also resulting in dismissing red flags to be in a relationship with that person. I could be wrong, of course and blowing things out of my arse...
carhill Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 However, he's been in long-term relationships. How does that happen? For the NPD'er, there's a new sucker born every second. Billions more to encounter. When a person has that brand of sociopathy, people are interchangeable, like underwear. When the skid marks get too bad, into the trash it goes. The good news is that you caught this personality style early so can enable the person to encounter more of the billions by making like a hole in the water. 2
BluEyeL Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 My ex husband was a narcissist and I was with him 20 yrs. So they can have long term relationships if they find a sucker (me-narcissistic supply) to put up with them and offer supply for a long time. 1
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 I'm not suggesting that this is the case, but some people are prone to becoming attracted to attributes, features, characteristics that they know are a detriment. Or more accurately, dismissing them b/c they are eager to having a relationship. The insecurity that I am suggesting is that of a self-need to have or be involved in a relationship even at the expense of dismissing signs that would alert one to avoiding it with that person. Do you have a NEED to be in a relationship? This can also manifest itself in a way where the person begins to think whether he/she will be able to find anyone better at that moment, also resulting in dismissing red flags to be in a relationship with that person. I could be wrong, of course and blowing things out of my arse... No, this is interesting. However, I'm not eager to having a relationship. I want a meaningful relationship but not jump into one with just anyone. I'm slightly attracted to him because he treats me differently than he treats others. He puts up with some of my ways and calms me when he thinks I'm freaking out. Perhaps I'm attracted to the attention from a narcissit that should otherwise only think about himself (I'm not saying he puts me before himself, not at all, but he can be nice when he wants to be)?
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 For the NPD'er, there's a new sucker born every second. Billions more to encounter. When a person has that brand of sociopathy, people are interchangeable, like underwear. When the skid marks get too bad, into the trash it goes. The good news is that you caught this personality style early so can enable the person to encounter more of the billions by making like a hole in the water. My ex husband was a narcissist and I was with him 20 yrs. So they can have long term relationships if they find a sucker (me-narcissistic supply) to put up with them and offer supply for a long time. How is it that these people manage to put up the charms to make others fall in love with them? How do they do it?
candie13 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 there's a difference between self centered people, selfish people and narcissistic people. Self centered people will talk about themselves and put themselves first naturally. However, they can aren't necessarily selfish - talk to them and they will give you more space. They will back out of the space they naturally occupy. Makes sense? Selfish and narcissistic are another breed altogether.
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 there's a difference between self centered people, selfish people and narcissistic people. Self centered people will talk about themselves and put themselves first naturally. However, they can aren't necessarily selfish - talk to them and they will give you more space. They will back out of the space they naturally occupy. Makes sense? Selfish and narcissistic are another breed altogether. I'm a little confused now. This person is definitely self centered. He talks about himself or just talks all the time. Sometimes it's a struggle to get myself heard. He's not exactly selfish though. He's not always attentive enough to notice everything but after you tell him what he's done "wrong," he gets it.
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 The belief that you're superior to others An exaggerated fantasy of power, success, status and attractiveness Exaggerating your own achievements Lack of empathy Using others to get your way in business, relationships or other aspects of day-to-day life Setting unrealistic goals Appearing tough-minded/unemotional Difficulty keeping healthy and lasting relationships Appearance of over-confidence and or arrogance Monopolization of conversations (constantly interrupting) An attitude of entitlement A 'look at me, look at me' attitude http://ezinearticles.com/?Signs-of-Narcissism&id=7543217 This person shows signs of those in bold. Self centered or narcissistic?
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 The belief that you're superior to others An exaggerated fantasy of power, success, status and attractiveness Exaggerating your own achievements Lack of empathy Using others to get your way in business, relationships or other aspects of day-to-day life Setting unrealistic goals Appearing tough-minded/unemotional Difficulty keeping healthy and lasting relationships Appearance of over-confidence and or arrogance Monopolization of conversations (constantly interrupting) An attitude of entitlement A 'look at me, look at me' attitude http://ezinearticles.com/?Signs-of-Narcissism&id=7543217 This person shows signs of those in bold. Self centered or narcissistic? I think that narcissists are self-centered, but not the other way around necessarily. OP, you say that when he's "made" aware of what he's doing wrong he gets it. So, his natural tendency is to be selfish, right.
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 I think that narcissists are self-centered, but not the other way around necessarily. OP, you say that when he's "made" aware of what he's doing wrong he gets it. So, his natural tendency is to be selfish, right. Not exactly selfish. What I mean is that the incidents when I've told him about it, he wasn't selfish. It wasn't like he refused to share his food or made me stand when there was only one available seat. Am I making sense?
Maleficent Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Is this guy self-centered? He checks his reflection each time he passes by a mirror, he seems to only care about himself (ignoring some people's feelings) and only does things that make him feel good. He also dominates conversations and likes it when people agree with him (he already seems confident enough). He seems like a terrible person to date yet there's a little bit of attraction. Have you dated someone like that? How was it like? Good idea or next? Use him and lose him. This guy isn't worthy of anything else and he probably won't even care.
soccerrprp Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 He's not exactly selfish though. He's not always attentive enough to notice everything but after you tell him what he's done "wrong," he gets it. I'm sorry, so what does this mean?
Author happythroughout Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 What I'm curious is then this. If he's self-centered or narcissistic, how is it that he puts up with some of my ways and calms me when he thinks I'm freaking out? He treats me a little nicer than he does others. Should I be scared, very scared?
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