Emissary Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 It's really just a nightmare of a situation, and embarrassing to say the least. It only lasted for a little over two months, but I was so happy for once in my life, she was perfect for me and I was eager to let everybody know it. Then things went downhill, all sorts of drama seemed to find her. Everyday she would tell me some new horrible detail of her life. After a while I began to wonder if she wasn't stretching the truth a bit. Then two weeks ago everything went wrong, she just **** herself in, wouldn't talk to me or anything. It really hurt me, but not as much as one week ago when she suggested she's too dramatic for me and that maybe I need somebody else. I told her to reconsider and that I would give her some space. However, her Mom came to see me the next day. She told me the truth about her, and what would likely happen if I continued seeing her. The truth was that she lied about literally everything bad in her life, that she has no filter on what she says. That hurt enough, but it got worse because she told me about how she drags everybody close to her down when she starts boiling over into an episode. My ex once told me her dad was an alcoholic and beat her. I found out that not only was her dad not an alcoholic, he never touched her. Even worse, she called the cops on him, she was a minor at the time as well so child services got involved and everything. She has already begun saying I was stalking her, so on her mom's advice, I didn't break up with her, I just nixed all contact whatsoever. I get no sense of closure, I don't get to know if she even cared about me or not, I get nothing. Meanwhile, me, her and her Mom all work in the mall. Her Mom's shop is right across from mine, she visits there a lot, she appears to be talking to her, but we make eye contact a lot. She is avoiding my store for now while I'm there, but I wonder if she will come back for her tea one day. I don't even know what to do, I still care about her, even though she is crazy and is most likely going to be admitted to the psych Ward soon. I want to hurt her feelings like she did with mine, but I'm almost forced to be the better man here, I just wish she didn't exist.
TaraMaiden Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 .......... She has already begun saying I was stalking her, so on her mom's advice, I didn't break up with her, I just nixed all contact whatsoever. I get no sense of closure, I don't get to know if she even cared about me or not, I get nothing. Whatever the situation, whoever it is, it doesn't matter; you never get closure from 'them'. Ever. You only get closure from you, when you realise this was crazy, when you realise her mother did you a huge favour, and when you realise you dodged a bullet and are well clear of it now. That's - your closure. Meanwhile, me, her and her Mom all work in the mall. Her Mom's shop is right across from mine, she visits there a lot, she appears to be talking to her, but we make eye contact a lot Quit looking, spying, checking out or making any eye contact whatsoever. Don't look that way, or watch her. When you see her go in there, make sure someone you work with tells you when she's gone. Or every now and then use peripheral vision to just check where she's at... but quit making 'eye contact'. She is avoiding my store for now while I'm there, but I wonder if she will come back for her tea one day. I don't even know what to do, I still care about her, even though she is crazy and is most likely going to be admitted to the psych Ward soon. I want to hurt her feelings like she did with mine, but I'm almost forced to be the better man here, I just wish she didn't exist. Don't be stupid. Why would you - a perfectly sane, logical level-headed and sensible individual, want to hurt her - a crazy, mixed-up mentally unsound person who may be committed to a psych unit for her own good....? I don't need to tell you which one of you two sounds the craziest here.... You're not being 'forced to be the better man'.... You're just lucky that you have all your mental faculties in order. it's not a question of being better. it's a question of being compassionate and mature. She has a problem. You're just whingeing. You should be grateful that this isn't going to shadow your life any more.
phineas Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Unfortunately people with mental health issues have up-swings & down-swings & when they come down it turns to hell. And sometimes they make you a little crazy also. Just leave it alone.
carhill Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 OP, it appears you have a clear understanding of the circumstances here, so now you get to choose. What do you want to do? What is in your best interests? Accept that you developed an emotional attachment to this person. That's OK. We all do it, and sometimes it's with people who are incompatible for us. How you choose to accept that defines your next steps. Go on about your business at your store and, for today, actively focus on your business and exclude her from your thoughts. Just for today. Make that your job. Just for today. This process is one day at a time. Today she is not in my mind. Tomorrow we'll deal with when we get there. Good luck.
robaday Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Sounds a lot like someone I knew, shed apparently been "abused" by an ex boyfriend, sexually assaulted by another, and abused by her dad. Then she started abusing me, every day "you fxxxxin cxxxt", "fuxxxxxn wuss", fxxxxn deadend"......then she broke up with me after I found her on a dating website, told me to never contact her again and told everyone we knew I had abused her Mate its so hard not to lose your shxxxt when this kinda stuff goes down, I know Ive really struggled. But keep your head low, focus on moving on, finding a new passion helps - Ive started training in mma 4 times a week, keeps the anger and bitterness away. Thinking about this will never do you any good, and in time........youll just be grateful your not with her
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