imtooconfused Posted May 30, 2013 Posted May 30, 2013 As most of you know i met up with my ex of 8 years after about 7 months of NC. Staying NC was critical in getting over her. That being said I have had no negative reaction to breaking NC when i saw her earlier this month so it is possible. And i have had a couple convesations since and my new girl is aware of this. All i feel is a cetain fondness for her and i hope her new RS works out. I wouldnt go as fas as saying we are friends but we are FRIENDLY and still care for one another in a platonic way. We even joked about going out on a double date with our new significant others. (Not happeneing ) I just dont have a romantic emotional connection to her any more. That bond was severed with hard core NC a lot of pain, healing and growth. So it is possible to be in contact but i wouldnt risk it untill indifferent or if you are harbouring any hope of reconcilliation. Rock on! Cav This is exactly what NC empowers you to do... get over your EX to the point where you can eventually be cordial without having bad feelings. Echo000 broke NC for different reasons, and while I don't think it has been bad for him, it's certainly not leading him in the same direction as you. 2
Author Echo000 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 yeah i think i was getting a little defensive.. for the most part i think yall are right. My motives are more unclear (i dont even know what i want), and maybe im trying to convince myself i am okay. I dont think i will crash or have a meltdown, but i can totally see myself feeling like garbage for a week because of this. I already feel a little low (nothing too bad though). I dont bash on myself for it or feel stupid, because life has its choices and if i had not seen her i probably would have beat myself up for it/regretted it. We were going to meet up again once more before she leaves back up north, but is pulling her classic poor communication so i dont know if that will happen. Makes me see that, while in many ways i have changed and worked on myself, i cant say the same for her. Not much as changed, and i know that that says a lot. I am not trying to set myself back, but i feel maybe we need little setbacks every once in a while to keep us in check/ touch base with where we are in the process. I love her so much, and she does love me. But there needs to be more than that for a successful relationship. So its a good thing she leaves tomorrow..so this little saga can come to an end!
TaraMaiden Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 I feel as if this is going to end badly. Post #2.....
Talulah Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Wouldn't it feel much better to wait longer and have her contact you first. I love that feeling of going about with your life and then having them contact you out of nowhere. It is the best feeling ever. Think about that:laugh:
imtooconfused Posted July 8, 2013 Posted July 8, 2013 Wouldn't it feel much better to wait longer and have her contact you first. I love that feeling of going about with your life and then having them contact you out of nowhere. It is the best feeling ever. Think about that:laugh: I was confused by the sudden new interest in this thread. Seems the ex has decided to move across the country and leave the OP high and dry (see this thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/406637-remember-me-update-how-breaking-nc-went-what-just-happened). While it is possible that she would want to contact him, it would only be just breadcrumbs at that point. 1
Author Echo000 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 haha exactly true..you all were RIGHT. RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. im laughing because i was scared and unsure and looking for reassurance when i wrote this thread back in may, but you guys already knew what was coming. I was right in that she still loved me, but there was ZERO change on her end. And yes, left high and dry indeed. she moved away out of NO WHERE. telling me this and that, how she wanted to see me and how i better visit before august (just because she wanted to see me) and how she wanted to stay in cali for school..to BOOM. she up and decides to move, and EXPECTS me to still be in contact with her. So you all were right. and after learning about her decision to move and going NC for almost two weeks, i got a text today. A cutesy "i just came across this photo you must have snuck it in my bag all those months ago" text. BREADCRUMB. thought about what i would say back for hours, then realized that there was nothing i could say back that would do me any good. so i ignored it, and plan to continue forward NC. took me all the way to July, to the point where she was moving across the country, for me to actually attempt at FULLY getting over her (and not just "for now", or 70% over her with 30% hope). You realize that some people dont change, no matter what happens around them. Some people are destined to resist change at all costs. Even after i blocked her by all means and said a final goodbye nearly two weeks ago, i get a casual text with a cute message.. jesus christ. some people are in their own worlds. Lesson learned. Echoo needed to be hurt one last, huge time. Needed to have the choice ultimately made for me (her moving away--goodbye hope). And that is okay i guess. 1
cavalier99 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Life has a sneakey way of moving forward. She is moving away. Breadcrumbs will eventually end if you dont respond. She will get busy with her new life. You will too. This chaper will close. Soon you will think of her with indifference. And then will will find that your not even thinking about her. Its just how it works it is actually pretty difficult to screw up the recovery with NC. Just let NC and time do the work for you! All the tips on selft improement ecetera are great but at the end of the day it think it is NC and time. Cav 1
ReadMyThread Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 ok guys..ima wait a few weeks. if i still feel the way i do, ima go for it. and if i dont..i will continue. because i agree with this: if i feel anxiety like i do about it then i am not ready to do it. so for now, i wont. Man take it from me!!! DO NOT BREAK NC. No matter what man. Please don't man. I'm begging you not to. lol.
cavalier99 Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Man take it from me!!! DO NOT BREAK NC. No matter what man. Please don't man. I'm begging you not to. lol. Yo ReadMyThread whats up bro!? Hope all is well. Im way over things now hope you are too. I "almost" miss the BU because of the friendships I found here. take care. Cav Im rarley on here anymore but got a spurt of energy yesterday and today to check in. lol
ReadMyThread Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Yo ReadMyThread whats up bro!? Hope all is well. Im way over things now hope you are too. I "almost" miss the BU because of the friendships I found here. take care. Cav Im rarley on here anymore but got a spurt of energy yesterday and today to check in. lol Nothing much man. Living life! Lol. Man I wish I could say the same. I'm not over it, due to the fact that I actually broke NC and got back together with my ex JUST like this guy is doing but then she left me AGAIN after one month of being back together lol that's why I'm trying to save him. But it didn't hurt as much as the first time...or the 2nd time... Lol Ahhh shame on me. All good though. Keeping busy and doing all the things that need to be done to get over it. Lol. See ya man. To OP: man you messed up breaking NC. Yeah it's all good now because it's all "oh I missed you so much" and "remember this remember that" but Im telling you you guys WILL break up again. She left you once, she'll do it again and please don't be as stupid as I am and get dumped 3 times by her lol. 2
lavenderlove Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 Well as you know Echo, because you commented on my last thread I have just been though a similar situation. But then I don't think it is like being back to day number one. Didn't you learn something by it? If nothing else, than the value of NC? Or just knowing that she hasn't changed and compared to her you have changed a lot? I don't know. I guess I am slow at recovery. I just got to the point of really starting NC after 5 months. I didn't really make a proper commitment about it before. I figured I will just go with the flow. And the flow brought me back to him....of course because I love him. So I just got kicked in the stomach again. So now officially right here and now I shall promise myself that I will not seek his company, not seek any contact, and pass any form of communication from him unanswered. Not that the latter will be necessary. I am going NC. (I can just hear all the clapping ) 1
imtooconfused Posted July 22, 2013 Posted July 22, 2013 So you all were right. and after learning about her decision to move and going NC for almost two weeks, i got a text today. A cutesy "i just came across this photo you must have snuck it in my bag all those months ago" text. BREADCRUMB. thought about what i would say back for hours, then realized that there was nothing i could say back that would do me any good. so i ignored it, and plan to continue forward NC. Echo000, I hope you understand that those of us who argued for continued NC feel no vindication or sense of "I told you so" in how things turned out at all. We really only wanted you to learn from our experiences and maybe save you from some suffering and are truly sorry for your loss. Your update is interesting and I wish you strength in maintaining NC. 1
Author Echo000 Posted July 22, 2013 Author Posted July 22, 2013 Nothing much man. Living life! Lol. Man I wish I could say the same. I'm not over it, due to the fact that I actually broke NC and got back together with my ex JUST like this guy is doing but then she left me AGAIN after one month of being back together lol that's why I'm trying to save him. But it didn't hurt as much as the first time...or the 2nd time... Lol Ahhh shame on me. All good though. Keeping busy and doing all the things that need to be done to get over it. Lol. See ya man. To OP: man you messed up breaking NC. Yeah it's all good now because it's all "oh I missed you so much" and "remember this remember that" but Im telling you you guys WILL break up again. She left you once, she'll do it again and please don't be as stupid as I am and get dumped 3 times by her lol. lol dude. read my recents threads/posts. i am not trying to get back with her. this thread was started in may..things have changed. have you read any updates even on this thread? she is moving away, i am not trying to get back together with her. and fyi she didnt break up with me. i actually initiated it, and i was the one resisting getting back together with her. im just sad because now that she is moving away, i know there is no hope of us ever being together again. she even sent me a text yesterday, and i kept NC and ignored it.
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