Sarah92 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Long history with this guy.... I broke up with this guy a couple months ago. Yes, I was the one who brought it up, but we kind of decided on it together. Both of us went on NC right after we broke up. He broke it a week later. I text him back from a friend's perspective, nothing romantic involved. He didn't reply to my last text, which was fine with me. I think it was because the conversations were a bit forced and awkward. A month or so later, he tried contacting again. Which this time, I told him to please stop contacting me since I'm still not over the breakup (I do like him a lot even though I asked for a break up). 2.5 weeks later, he broke NC again (but this time it's for a reasonable reason). Then we went NC and a couple weeks earlier, he text me and asked to hung out. Which...I was a bit skeptical about at first but I said yes anyways, and kind of ditched last minute. Well, not really ditched...since I didn't really give a definite answer. (Really bad, I'm sorry!) Well, he asked again and this time I really went. Things were weird but smooth. Still feel very familiar and close to this person. But the whole night we hung out, he seems to be spacing out or maybe it was just awkward for him. We were acting like friends, but also in an intimate way. Anyways, everything was fine for me. I had a great time. I don't know about him though, since he didn't text me afterwards. He usually texts me after we hung out when we were a couple. I got a text from him earlier, actually a couple, when I was at work. I didn't reply, because I don't have my phone with me. When I text him back, he didn't reply at all (and I know he saw it! ) Well, I'm done with this guy. I like him but I don't really know his intentions. Should I just stop all forms of contact from now on? FYI, I am 21 and he is 25.
moneyneversleeps Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Hey, The way I see it, he has been constantly trying to contact you and you have been giving him nothing! I am in a similar situation with my ex girlfriend. She kept trying to catch up but always said we are not getting back together. I always broke NC. That just shoots me down. If i was him, i would be thinking, im trying to give her space. I contacted her, its a bit awkward. I dunno, break ups are really hard and you don't know how to act but maybe you should ask what he wants? And of he asks you just say you are unsure to suss out the waters.. Im back on NC at the moment. We have not uttered a word to eacother for 2 weeks. We have been broken up for nearly 3 months now. sometimes i think i would give anything to get her back. But thats only if she gives me a chance. I am the dumpee.. I also know she is seeing other people. I am also seeing other people, but it is seriously not the same at all. We were in a 4 year relationship.
Author Sarah92 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 Hey, The way I see it, he has been constantly trying to contact you and you have been giving him nothing! I am in a similar situation with my ex girlfriend. She kept trying to catch up but always said we are not getting back together. I always broke NC. That just shoots me down. If i was him, i would be thinking, im trying to give her space. I contacted her, its a bit awkward. I dunno, break ups are really hard and you don't know how to act but maybe you should ask what he wants? And of he asks you just say you are unsure to suss out the waters.. Im back on NC at the moment. We have not uttered a word to eacother for 2 weeks. We have been broken up for nearly 3 months now. sometimes i think i would give anything to get her back. But thats only if she gives me a chance. I am the dumpee.. I also know she is seeing other people. I am also seeing other people, but it is seriously not the same at all. We were in a 4 year relationship. He's sending some very mixed signals. I was very friendly and I even gave him a couple hugs during our last meet up, but he didn't initiate much. Just basically spaced out and having a vague response. Hugged me back, but that doesn't mean anything...I guess. Well, afterwards, he didn't text me back or anything, so I was just thinking maybe he was not satisfied with the hung out and was thinking if he should ask me out again. Any thoughts on that? We planned on grabbing coffee but I changed my mind and wanted to grab a movie to avoid the awkwardness. Probably that is why he's being kind of weird, because he wanted to catch up and I kind of pushed that away.
DontBreakEven Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 he probably has a hug guard up since you broke up with him and probably broke his heart ... duh.
BustedUpInside Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 It kind of sounds like you are leading him on. That is probably not your intention but you break up with him, you let him text you, you hang out with him and then are upset that he is not texting back. I think you should back off for awhile and let him get over the relationship a little before trying to force a friendship on him.
Author Sarah92 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 It kind of sounds like you are leading him on. That is probably not your intention but you break up with him, you let him text you, you hang out with him and then are upset that he is not texting back. I think you should back off for awhile and let him get over the relationship a little before trying to force a friendship on him. I'm testing the water because I do still have feelings. But he's the one who seems to be acting all lovely one minute and weird/cold the second? I don't like playing games.
Author Sarah92 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 he probably has a hug guard up since you broke up with him and probably broke his heart ... duh. How do I heal it back?
BustedUpInside Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I understand that you aren't intentionally hurting his feelings or playing games, but that is exactly the effect you are having on him. You broke up with him, so he has to assume that you are no longer interested in having a relationship with him. Even if you are just testing the waters, it is understandable that he would be skeptical and wouldn't want to give too much of himself away because he can't really trust you anymore, right? What happens if he jumps in and then you change your mind and decide to leave him again. Seriously, I understand that you regret your decision and may want to see if you can give it another try, but you should do it on your own. Take some time apart and give him some space. Come back to the issue after some time and see if you really miss him, or if you just miss the routine of being in a relationship. Good luck though! I hope things work out well for both of you
imtooconfused Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 How do I heal it back? Maybe by being sincerely sorry for breaking his heart?
1908 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Maybe by being sincerely sorry for breaking his heart? And even that isn't enough sometimes. You could beg, cry and promise them the moon (were it possible of course) for them to beg to take you back and they still might reject you.
imtooconfused Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 And even that isn't enough sometimes. You could beg, cry and promise them the moon (were it possible of course) for them to beg to take you back and they still might reject you. Sure, but it's a big start... From Sarah's other thread: Hi, yeah thanks! This is an update for the other thread. The awkward thing is he never mentions the past, like it never happened. I don't either. I think that if we both can open up, then we can heal from the past. But then again, I don't know how to bring up the sensitive subject when he doesn't when to. The big elephant in the room that no on wants to mention is the break up. The guy obviously would prefer to have Sarah in his life but there is no way that a sane person would he fall for someone again who crushed their heart, especially if the dumper can't confront the situation. This, the lack of commitment to setting and keeping appointments on Sarah's part and the impatience that she has with helping him heal are all signs that she is not the right person for this guy and she should move on.
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