enitsuj90 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 I'm not usually comfortable in these kinds of things, but i feel i have no one to talk to. So to start of I'm female, 22, I'm bi. I've been seeing this girl for 2 years, and i can say i've never felt anything like it, at times i'm so happy and there are times i cry myself to sleep. I know that its love (sorry for being cheezy). We have fights like normal couples do, like jealousy, no time for each other, saying hurtful things, but it started to go rough when my parents didnt approve, ofcourse i stood up for her and it made my family hurt so much, and it was really hard for me to choose. When suddenly my gf started to loose hope and wanted to give up, so i felt bad because i was willing to fight for her, when i felt that the love was dying, i met someone, and i had a very casual affair just texting, and then i told my gf, so we broke up. But i realized i was just using the new girl. And she wasnt the one. So after 2 months my ex and i got back together, but when we did, something inside me felt wrong, it wasnt the head over heels love anymore, i felt like im missing out on something, so thats when i met a guy, and i guess my gf and i broke up again. So i tried being with a guy, my parents seem happy about it, everything was okay at first, but at the end of the day its my ex who i still think about, so eventually the guy did not work out. While i was with the guy, communication with my ex never stopped. So i guess we were in a place with no labels and we didnt understand, i didnt want to make it official because ive hurt her too many times (but during our official 2 year relationship, she cheated first and i forgave her). Anyway, its so hard to fix something that both of us had destroyed, but i feel, we feel that the love is still there. And its very confusing to me because as much as i want to get back together, i keep thinking about my parents, and i dont want to go back to the times we fought because of me being bi. So i decided that maybe we're not meant for each other, so i said im done with girls its time to move on, i think i should be with guys. Occasionally my ex would plead me to come back to her, but even if i love her so much i cant find the feeling to say yes. I kept saying that i wish she was a guy then everything would be okay. She started working, and she met someone, who likes her a lot. She keeps telling me that, she still loves me even if she kinda likes the girl too. At one party, she started pleading so much, that i reconsidered my decision, so i told her i'll give it a try, but we had a misunderstanding once again so it led us with the no label kind of relationship. I was thinking that i was trying, i was trying to make it work and so did she, guys would flirt with me, but i dont mind them. And then i found out that my ex and her new girl was thinking about being serious, but my ex is saying she's not giving up on me and maybe in time we would be together, just not now, but its so hard to believe because she has a new girl, like how can she say that im the one she wants in the future when she's with that girl now. And now, i feel so bad, i dont know if i should fight for her because all this time i know i love her im just scared to face the consequences with her or should i just let her be and be happy with someone else?
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