Why Do I Still Think/Worry/Care About My Ex?

[fiftyofsomethin]

Hey guys,

 

So for the most part, I've been doing really well. Actually in my opinion, I have done great, however, I still get caught on certain things.

 

I still run into the situations where I see her in school or see a post on Facebook or whatnot, and she is obviously very happy and has no regretful thoughts about me. Hell, it's been nearly two months since our break up, if she has any thoughts about me at all still, I wouldn't believe it. We have now been broken up for longer than we were together, which unfortunately makes me feel just more pathetic for feeling this way.

 

I just do not understand why I still care and think about her, her actions, and how happy she is. WHY? I completely understand how irrational it is to spend so much time in thought about her. I just don't understand why I still get a bit sad when I think of good memories with her. I suppose maybe that I feel insignificant because she just pretty much had all the power in the breakup. She knows or at least knew that I wanted her back which built up her ego a bit I suppose.

 

I now have convinced myself that the true reason why she left me is because she sensed my lack of confidence. And as we all know, one of the most important things to girls in a guy is confidence. I actually felt very in control and confident at the beginning and very much towards the end of the relationship, but literally the second that things got awkward and I tried to hard to fix it, she smelled my fear and decided to move on to bigger things.

 

She has moved on with her life, and now I need to take bigger steps towards moving on with mine.

 

I want to stay in touch I don't want to lose touch with her and her friends.

 

However, I have been making quite a bit of progress towards building up confidence in general, aside from a slight breakdown yesterday which was set off by a small homework complication.

 

I suppose all I really want from her and one of her friends who I am really good friends with, is to just stay in touch after high school. Our last day of school is next Thursday so you can imagine that I am a bit worried that I will run out of time to do something about it. Her friend who is also a good friend to me would most likely still want to keep in touch and stuff, but she, however, I am doubtful of. I just need to let the past go and be able to talk to her presently before I can consider a friendly relationship with her.