roxy_silver16 Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 Ok I am confused! Let me give you a little background.... I recently got out of a troubled relationship of 2 years about 2 months ago. I am now hanging out with a new guy and have been for about 3 weeks now. We have had sex, he calls me everyday, we hang out, party, and bar hop in a group setting, watch tv together, just hang out and have fun. We haven't gone on a "real date" yet because of school, work, ect. We always talk about how we need to go on a traditional sober "date." I went through a phase in the beginning where I only thought he liked me when we were drunk. He is very touchy feely when drinking but extremely shy and reserved when sober. He tells me sober he likes me and is just a straight forward shy guy and he wouldn't call and hang out if he didn't like me. Last week I tried the "what are we talk" He said he really really likes me. I said I like you too. He said we both got out of serious relation ships (his about 4 months ago) and mine 2 months ago and that the last thing he wants to do is hurt me or have me hurt him. He hates labels, we need to go on a date and he feels like he doesn't know me yet. I said alright, agreed with him and I can't decide if this is a good or bad thing. What is he saying? Lets get to know each other more and hang out in a more personal sober atmosphere? I like that idea. He says he doesn't like anyone else and he is very honest and would let me know if he did. He's 23. I've just always had aggressive guys in the past who labeled it right away, like your my girl, blah blah blah. After our talk we still hang out everyday and everything is normal. I guess I just don't know what to think or do? My friends say to just take it easy, relax, hang out with him, and not push the issue of "What are we, what are we?" Be honest with him and tell him if interested in another guy, ect. What would you guys think or have you guys had a boy tell you this?
Merin Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 Roxy, well your friends may be right in saying don't push for a label or a term..... HOWEVER Because you're intimate with this guy, I do think you need to know IF he is intimate with anyone else at this time, and IF he is.... is he "safe" and last but not least, IF you are okay with this.
Author roxy_silver16 Posted September 26, 2004 Author Posted September 26, 2004 I agree with you! We definietley talked about this after we first started having sex. He said I was the only one he is sleeping with, the only one he likes, and if he decided to change this, he would be honest and tell me. I said the same thing.... We are safe so I feel ok about the sex issue. I guess I am just concerned we will casually "date" for a while then maybe he will decide we aren't right together and I will end up crushed. I guess that is a potential for any relationship however.
Merin Posted September 26, 2004 Posted September 26, 2004 Originally posted by roxy_silver16 I agree with you! We definietley talked about this after we first started having sex. He said I was the only one he is sleeping with, the only one he likes, and if he decided to change this, he would be honest and tell me. I said the same thing.... We are safe so I feel ok about the sex issue. I guess I am just concerned we will casually "date" for a while then maybe he will decide we aren't right together and I will end up crushed. I guess that is a potential for any relationship however. I'm glad the two of you discussed that:) I do understand your point.... but as you said it is always a potential in any relationship LOL heck even when people are married.... can't get more NOT casual than that! Hang in there girl.... see where things go. If in a reasonable amount of time he still isn't sure he wants the relationship to be exclusive, then maybe it will be you who decides he isn't right for you. Good Luck
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