Lonleyboy13 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 So we have been broken up about 2 months.. It was LC at the start then NC then breadcrumbs and then NC again. Broke up out of the blue I suspect gigs or she's a mental case. Anyway I can't get her out of my mind .. We were really close and I know she has her issues but I just want her out of my mind I honestly think of this girl like 95% of the day I try keep myself occupied with work, study etc but **** its just not happening for me I'm just as in love with her as I was 2 months ago.. I don't understand .. When will it get easier I'm over feeling this way ! Tips anyone ?! Is there something wrong with me I feel like an obsessive freak
WhatamIdoingwrong Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Mate, it's as if I wrote this! I don't think you are a freak. I have only been BU 6 days, and NC 5 days and its killing me. When I wake, I'm frozen to the bed, when I sleep, i dream of her next to me, when I'm at work I imagine her emailing me. It's very draining but I can't stop it. I try and keep busy, but she is always there in the back of my mind, smelling amazing, smiling at me the way she did.... I just wanted to say, I empathize.
siankat Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I was like that in the beginnning and having a self destructive meltdown...all whilst holding down a job and acting 'normal' in front of everyone else. Funny how we can do that I'm not in that place anymore. You WILL get there. And when you do, learn to let go finally as well.
Author Lonleyboy13 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 6 days ! God I hope you are not like me 2 months down the track. You are right though it is absolutely exhausting to think about one person almost every moment of the day. I honestly don't know what more I can do I am feeling very impatient and frustrated and as time goes on I'm not feeling better at all I'm feeling worse Thanks though !
Chi townD Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Well, I'm not Tara (Damn Girl! You're way too popular around here!) but I'll throw my two cents in. You were in LC. Regardless, that's still contact. Then, NC, in which you recieved breadcrumbs. Which, I speculate, you responded to. Then Back to NC. Problem is, you have always had some sort of contact with her and when that contact was over, it put you back to square one. Back to first day of no contact. NC is hard. I mean REALLY hard in the beginning. But, as time goes on, it gets easier and easier. BUT< you have to have ZERO contact. Ignoring the breadcrumbs. Ignoring the texts and email and phonecalls. The more time goes by, the less you start to think of her. You have to give it a good effort and TIME!!!
Author Lonleyboy13 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 You're right it's still early days for me
Tdog123 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 There is nothing wrong with you, ive been broken up for just past 3 months now and she is still the only thing that goes through my mind from the minute i get up to the minute i go to sleep. sad thing is shes already in a new relationship which makes it even more harder for me to move on...just constant thoughts of them together make me sad. and on top of that i cant go NC because we got a 3 year old son together so i have to see her on a weekly basis. so yea theres nothing wrong with you man alot of people in the same boat unfortunately
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Hell. Pain. Suffering. Anguish. Turmoil. Does this sound about right? We've all been there. What can you do?? NC and occupy your time. Slowly, minutes will turn to hours, then days, and so on... Seems impossible, I know, but you can do it. You must do it. And, there is an upside. Think of how much stronger and smarter you will be when you come out the other side.
316 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I like how you're calling out for Tara in the thread title. She really is the go to advice giver around here isn't she? Lol
WhatamIdoingwrong Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 6 days ! God I hope you are not like me 2 months down the track. You are right though it is absolutely exhausting to think about one person almost every moment of the day. I honestly don't know what more I can do I am feeling very impatient and frustrated and as time goes on I'm not feeling better at all I'm feeling worse Thanks though ! You are welcome, little solace in knowing you are not alone, but I hope it helps. I really busied myself this evening ,and I managed a few minutes without thinking about her. Pathetic huh! The problem is, thanks to technology, we are all SO contactable. I think of when my parents dates 45 years ago. My dad wrote a letter, my mum responded, they went out. They arranged a second date. They got together, and within a year, married. Now, we have text, skype, email, mobile, whatsapp, IM, work email, im sure im missing more ways, but you get my point, and because we are always so reachable, we think "why cant they just text/message/whatsapp etc", it would take seconds to do, and give us that "fix" so we can sigh a big sigh and say "yes, they MUST care, they have made that move", but in reality, moments after that message (if) appears, I want more, I want another message, or a phone call, or I want to go round, and the cycle of hurt begins again. I have sat with my phone in my hand, on her number ready to text about 15 times today, but I managed to talk myself out of it, and I think thats good, right?? Lets hope we can all just continue to be strong. Best wishess to you.
DontBreakEven Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 there is nothing wrong with you. heartbreak is a soul-crushing, traumatic event and it deserves a proper grieving period, which of course varies from person to person. I am 6 weeks out of my BU, 2 weeks complete NC and i would say 98% of my thoughts are consumed by her, and my pain. Only time I find i'm NOT thinking of it is when i'm doing complicated math formulas at work. (and even then, once i get the answer i think, "oh sh*t, i haven't thought of her the past 30 seconds what the hell is wrong with me?!"). such a weird feeling. in fact, today my brain started doing this thing where it feels like it's swimming in water. i think i'm literally making my head spin over this. only silver lining i have is that, i have been here before .. numerous times unfortunately .. and somehow, it does go away. the messed up part is that as much as i'm hurting, part of me doesnt WANT it to go away, because that will mean that we are detached completely from each other .. and that thought is painful as well. really sucks. my advice, baby yourself. allow your feelings for as long as they are there. read some books on heartbreak and loss. wait. and wait from more. time takes time.
Author Lonleyboy13 Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 Thabk you everyone. It does help knowing I'm not alone. I just have to keep reminding myself everything happens for a reason. Going to continue to keep myself busy I've stopped obsessing over the phone which is good now just need to stop the obsessive thoughts. I've been through break ups before but nothing like this one.. I genuinely thought this one would never end guess now that the shock has settled I can start to move forward ..
WhatamIdoingwrong Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Sadly ive been here before too many times, and yes, it does go eventually, but you are right, in a way you dont want it to completel because it almost feels like you are leaving them if you stop thinking about them. My last break up was only a year ago, and it was 7 months of intensive counselling and a complete life overhaul that got me through. Finally out the other side, and out of the blue met my recent ex. Truly never thought it would end. Which makes it almost harder than the first, because it is making my old feelings resurface, and merge with the new ones. Sigh....
oracle Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Thabk you everyone. It does help knowing I'm not alone. I just have to keep reminding myself everything happens for a reason. Going to continue to keep myself busy I've stopped obsessing over the phone which is good now just need to stop the obsessive thoughts. I've been through break ups before but nothing like this one.. I genuinely thought this one would never end guess now that the shock has settled I can start to move forward .. Nothing happens for a reason. **** just happens. You need to take responsibility for yourself and your life. It will be what you choose to make out of whatever scenarios come your way. Your ex isn't loosing sleep over you. So stop paying tribute to them. Take them off the pedestal you have placed them on. All of life is a process of letting go. The faster you learn how to accept that things are going to constantly change in your life the better you will handle it in the future. 1
FailedFirstLove Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 I've been broken up since December.. It's now may. I'm back to square one. I let him lead me on with low contact. Thinking he would come bak. Then he got sick of having any commitment. So now his left me stranded once again... For some reason jumping bak into fire is something we feel like we want to do. I know you probably think low contact keeps u sane and hopefully u can ween yourself from the person. That's what I thought. But now I'm like this
WhatamIdoingwrong Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Your ex isn't loosing sleep over you. So stop paying tribute to them. Take them off the pedestal you have placed them on. How do you do this?! Even though I know there are things about my ex that would have eventually caused us problems, I am so blinkered right now, and see her as some kind of perfect goddess. I really wish I didnt.
Recommended Posts