My boyfriend changed and after a weeks break hasn't learnt a thing...

[Sarahhh123]

Hi!

I wanted to write on here as friends can giving advice knowing my boyfriend, so I wanted some advice of people I don't know. Basically, i was with my boyfriend 2 years. Everything about our relationship was special, all my boyfriends before him cheated on me and he proved to me I could trust him. We didn't spend too much time together but when we did it was great! I have never felt like this ever, I was head over heels in love with him, well, I still am!

 

He is a farmer and works on his family farm, I am in college near his farm studying animal management.

We've had quite a few problems in our relationship .. He went away with young farmers for a weekend and I offered to help out on the farm with his step dad. To cut a long story short his step dad came up behind me and started touching my bum telling me I was a naughty girl and that I couldn't tell anyone. Of course I left the farm straight away and immediately told my boyfriend when he rang that night. He was upset and wouldn't speak to me.

 

Then, after trying to contact him i get a text, his brother thought it would be funny to send me a text saying he'd slept with someone else. Even though I knew it wasn't true, it hurt so bad and he didn't even care that someone had sent me that and he broke up with me! Anyway, no onebelieved anything I was saying and I had to beg for another chance. No one said sorry but at the time all I wanted was to be with him. (Looking back, I was an idiot.)

 

After about a year together I started staying at his more for my college days as he was basically next door so it saved me fuel. This was 2 days a week and then he'd stay at mine every other weekend as he had work near mine, so we got into a bit of a routine.

He never really put much effort in to the relationship, but we spoke about it and he really tried harder, we were so happy! Then, about 2 weeks ago now he told me he was taking on another job. (He worked there for a week last year knowing he would miss my birthday even though we had a meal planned which really hacked me off, so I wasn't happy, plus his brother works there) the hours are long so I would never see him, literally 6am - anything between 11pm and 2am. And up again at 6am.

 

The first text he sent to me about it was 'I'm taking on the job with my brother and if you leave me that's fine'. It made me so angry because if he loved me surely he wouldn't want me to leave him? I told him to pick between me and the job because he had 2 job offers, the other one was near me and the hours were not as long but the pay matched. He picked the job. We rowed. Then, we decided to sort out our issues and see how things went with having space. He went out with his friends that night and after that he was really off saying we would never work he wants freedom to work and be with his friends.

 

He has never been the type to get with random girls and he would never cheat, before me he wasn't interested in girls much he'd only had one girlfriend for a few months. He asked for space, then he contacted me, then had a go at me saying he wanted space. We fell out and so I left it for a week.

 

Last night, I went round to his. I apologised for the way I made him choose and we agreed to be friends (even though I know it will never work he thinks it will) but he didn't apologise, he didn't care he had lost me, didn't fight for me. He said 'if ever we got back together and I worked straight for 2 weeks without seeing you, if I then wanted to go out with the lads instead of seeing you, you can't moan' which has really hurt me. I don't think I'd take him back as I don't believe he will go back to the person he was before... But I haven't been through a break up like this, and I would have done anything to make it work and he used to care for me so bad!

He never really liked me being there with his friends eithe which used to bug me as I got on well with them ... :/

 

Any advice would be much appreciated and I am SO SORRY for the essay haha!!

Xxx

Edited May 11, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Treasa]

I'm pretty sure you could be blindfolded, taken somewhere, throw a rock, and hit someone or something better for you than this *******.

 

I would have been done with him a lot sooner than this.

 

He and his family treated you like crap. It's not about him learning a lesson. It's about him just a douchebag and being perfectly ok with the way his life is going.

 

I hope to God you never speak to him again.

[Dancetoindie]

I think that if he loved you or care about you enough you would be his main priority! A guy that loves someone doesn go talking to them like that saying thins like oh if you leave me it's ok. He's not worth it and you are lucky that this happened now rather than later.