Cate123 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Thanks for reading this - I'm not sure what to do anymore. My boyfriend and I were together for 9 months and it was easily the best relationship I have ever been in. I'm 30, he's 35 and we seemed to want the same things in life. It was very intense and we spent most of our time together, at his instigation. His dating past is pretty patchy and he's been open about having trust and intimacy issues which I thought we were dealing with well. Our relationship was intense and did move quickly but I told him to tell me if it was stressing him out - he said it wasn't. Then about a month ago, he just suddenly broke up with me as he 'didn't see us spending the rest of our lives together'. I was devastated and told him I didn't think it was the right decision but that I wasn't going to beg him to be with me. He said he wanted to stay friends and because of plans we had already made we did spend the next few days together - as friends. However, he spent this time treating me in exactly the same way, making little jokes etc, everything the same except we weren't touching/kissing. I told him that I couldn't be friends with him and needed to have space from him so that I could get over this and move on. We went NC for 1 month and, although I was ridiculously upset, I assumed he had moved on and that was that. Then last week he text me asking to meet up. I went to see him and we had a great time (as always) and then he said that he'd really missed me and that he kept thinking about all the fun things we did together and how well we got on......he also made a point of telling me that he's not seeing anyone else. As happy as I was to hear those things I didn't respond because I was so shocked that he was saying it. He then text me a couple of times but since then nothing. I left it for a few days and then asked him what he had meant by all that. He said that he just really missed me. I've told him again that we can't be friends and haven't heard from him since. Now I'm going out of my mind because I don't understand why he would say all that if he didn't want to get back together, and why he wouldn't have followed it up with something. I love this man more than anyone and I feel very strongly that we should be together but I just don't know where I stand. I feel like it's worth fighting for but I don't what he's feeling. There are so many mixed messages and I don't want to frighten him off. I know the next time I see him (which I will have to do soon) we'll either get back together again or I'll never see him again - which really frightens me. I don't know what to do - was I reading too much into what he said to me? He's not the type to be like that so I'm choosing to believe that he meant it. What should I do? How should I get him to tell me how he's feeling without freaking him out?
Treasa Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 You're basically his soft landing place for when he's lonely. Stop being that person. If he doesn't want to be with you, then he basically threw you away. Do you really want to be with someone like that?
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