really tired Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 First time poster, been lurking this site almost 2 years now got loads of help. Long story short 6 years with ex lived together broke up 2 years ago went nc 7 months she came back for 4 months off again now she tries to communicate with me as a friend..... I'm tired.. I really want to move on ,I have dated, worked on myself mentally and physically but she is still on my mind 24/7 and I cannot take this any more its mind ****ing me. Last email I send her today.. Was nice seeing you yesterday, catching up and all but I need to be sincere here and true to my feelings, I just cant do this any more.... Things might be fine as they are between us but for me their not. Seeing you every now and then in the past two years excites me and makes me happy for a bit but as soon we say our goodbyes a burst of sadness and numbness hits me hard.. I still love you with all my heart and seems I cant turn of the switch and pretend to be friends with you when I clearly want more. I understand and fully respect your decision but In my mind things are so different and salvageable. I'm tired of trying to prove myself to you and its time for me to really move on and really let go. I hope you understand and respect my decision as well. Its clear I need time to forget and I really hope one day our mindsets reach equilibrium. So until then its best if we cease contact. I know I might regret this message now but I know its what I need to do for me. I wish I was stronger, Love j And the answer I understand your decision.. even though it makes me sad. I love you very much and i only want you to be happy .. I know I didn't make it easier on you.. so take your time and hope thinks will be better in the future. when ever you need me i will be here. love h I just want to fall out of love with this girl and find myself nothing more. Please some input would be great especially from tara. Thanks all of you for the help! 1
chelsea2011 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I don't have any advice because I'm in the same boat as you. I only want to say that I'm right there with you and I suspect that if I send an email like that I would get the same response, so I won't. I'm just going to move on instead. If someone truly does care about you they won't stay in your life knowing your feelings for them. They will stay gone so you can heal. That's truly shows they care. I hope you start taking care of you and block and walk.
portableversion Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 (edited) or they will get real and maneuver to restore what was lost, dang she said she loved you in the email, wtf does that mean? Dang if you love someone don't be pussy footing around with platonic friendship bs. Yeah **** that go no contact and move on, she wanted it over she didn't want to share life with you , you need to protect yourself, the way this is going your just gonna continue to get ripped to shreds over and over again, though I suppose it could be possible to eventually move on while seeing someone like this but nah forget all that non-sense. And let me guess shes probably shagging someone else on the side, well if so, that individual is her true friend. its time to build that wall and keep her away I went thru a ton of this crap with my ex and just like you say each time they leave you and your back in your lonely dwelling place its just a set back every single time. My counselors said this prevents the healing that is needed to get on with your life, and may as well get on with it she has shes shagging someone else, I don't care if he does lives far away, shes so serious to see him by blowing a few grand to go blow him so no get gone get lost go the **** away. Me I have the curse of the children they will force us to have to deal with each other and each time ill think you left me for other man and get naked with him now........sigh Time is the key absence makes the heart fonder but if it goes on long enough it makes the heart forget, that's what we need to forget these people. I did the same thing too, therapy group therapy, aa church all kids of things to address my stuff analyzed and broke down and really got to the inner self and saw what was in me that caused problems , shes told me on numerous visits that I remind her of the man she got married to, ,whatever, it was such a hollow empty meaningless statement cause if it were true shed maneuver to come back instead of spending a couple grand to visit ol boy in Alaska, just pure nonsense, I almost want to categorize the statement as outright lies and deception or else cruel manipulations for favor extraction. OP take these new skills and improvements to the next person that will love you and hopefully it will be better and it will be the one that goes with you to the grave. Edited May 10, 2013 by portableversion
aisuru Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 You got closure, out of limbo land. Now you shut her off in your brain. When you find yourself thinking of her, change your thoughts to something else. Force yourself to hate her and resent her for now. One day, you will reach the point of apathy she is at. Take care of you and move on. Good luck.
Author really tired Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 Thanks for the replies, the thing is I have been through anger and resent, avoided her like the plague, but this time I feel so stupid for believing in her and letting her back to my life only for her to do the same.... It makes me so angry when she says she still loves me and misses me but her actions don't match.... All this false hope and waste of time just to start from 0 again...what a fool. Anyways I know what i have to do, thanks again!
whichwayisup Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 She seems to think that you two will be friends again, someday soon. She doesn't really understand that your note to her was a goodbye... You need to close the door and move on so your heart can heal.
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