BLo7687 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 This is ridiculous. I went from thinking he wasn't the one/wasn't meant to be to missing being in a relationship but not missing him to thinking I lost and took a good guy for granted and now I hate to admit it but I freaking miss him. And he's not even here smh. He's currently away at boot camp right now. You'd think out of sight out of mind and I should be healing? But nope here I am dwelling about him. 2 days before he left to go to boot camp last month he came to see me because he wanted to see me for the last time and to say goodbye. We left on good terms as I didn't want to be on bad terms with him before he was leaving. When he came to see me he left a bunch of breadcrumbs, told me I was important in his life, said there were things he wasn't "over" but did not want to tell me what they were, told me he didn't know if things were going to work out with this new girl (he can't be alone), said he would probably call me during boot camp. He obviously did not tell his new gf that he came to see me. At that time, I told him if he calls me that I'd write him a letter (bad idea and I won't at this point). Now I don't expect him to call me. That is obviously going to go to his new gf and family. I for one hope he doesn't call because I know it would be nothing but a bunch of breadcrumbs and reality has sunk in at this point. Boot camp has forced us to go NC. I know when he gets out he will probably contact me. At that point, I know I HAVE to go NC. It's so ironic how the tables have turned. I didn't even think I could feel this certain type of way about him. 2 years ago when I first broke up with him he was heartbroken and wanted me back (we eventually got back together 6/7 months later). I wasn't even feeling this way back then and I acted like I didn't even care. I've been heartbroken before with a previous ex so I know eventually it gets better. This feeling is a little bit more different. It's more like losing someone that I took for granted. And the dating scene has been awful. I guess it doesn't help that I'm picky and selective. I don't jump from relationship to relationship. I'm the type of person that needs to get to know someone first and at least be able to trust that person before jumping into something quick. It's been nothing but a bunch of meaningless rebounds, guys I'm not interested in or guys that won't make the effort. No one compares to him. If someone can fill this void that I been feeling lately with someone that I actually LIKE then I probably won't be feeling this way. Loneliness kills. Sadly I probably won't fall/like anyone until next year. Maybe I have to go through this to appreciate my next relationship. I need to get out of this funk. It's been 4/5 months since the BU.
oracle Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Stop trying to fill the void. Mistake number one You won't replace him. No two people are the same Trying to fill the void is a place of desperation. Be ok with being alone and happy as an individual. To have your happiness be based on having a spouse is a place of weakness to live your life from. 7
Author BLo7687 Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 I know every guy is going to be different. I guess what I meant by that is if I found someone that I actually liked again then maybe I wouldn't be hung up on my ex. But that's easier said then done since I'm so selective/picky otherwise I'd settle for anyone that was interested in me at this point. And I'm not that desperate for that.
oracle Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 You will be hung up on your ex regardless of who comes into your life right now.. You need to be not hung up on your ex and happy and loving you and your life before you are worthy of having someone new come in and love you and fairly returning that love back. That goes to anyone here.. Don't inflict yourself on anyone new until you are in a stable place. You are just bound to hurt someone else.. and you know how much that sucks.. so don't bring anyone else down with you! 1
CelticGibson Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 People tend to jump into another relationship so soon, even as the ashes of the last still burns. What people fail to realise is that they are simply delaying the grieving process that one needs to process what went wrong, why you needed to end and to come to terms with that loss. By jumping into another relationship, they put off this vital step because the supposed highs of the new person offset the pain, at least temporarily. It's important that you step back and learn how to be comfortable being on your own, single and in your own life. Once you make it through the grief, you will be cleansed of any emotional ties to the past and will be ready to welcome someone new with an open heart. Ask yourself this: Would you think it fair if someone you met was still hung up on their ex? It's not fair on the new person. Think about it.
Author BLo7687 Posted May 28, 2013 Author Posted May 28, 2013 Welps..I know I shouldn't have looked but curiosity can get the best of me sometimes. I looked at his new gf's facebook and I guess it's serious with this girl. She's going to be there for him when he gets out of boot camp and even his mom likes her. I guess seeing things like this helps me move on just a little bit more. I wasn't a bad girlfriend but I know I should of been a better girlfriend. For the most part, I know it was mostly my fault why things ended but it was partially his fault too in the end. All the things I should of done, this girl will be doing now and she can possibly give him everything I couldn't give him. Well that's the past now. Can't do anything to change that. To be honest, he probably did me a favor. I probably would of never changed if he didn't dump me. Even if things would of worked out between us, I heard military relationships/distance are hard. I would of been giving up my hopes and dreams just to be with him or wherever he would be stationed at. In the long run, it would probably wouldn't have worked out anyway. Time would of just been wasted. Who knows if it will work out with this girl but I hope he's happy. Well anyways..time to grow, time to be a better person, and most of all time to move the **** on.
aisuru Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 This is ridiculous. I went from thinking he wasn't the one/wasn't meant to be to missing being in a relationship but not missing him to thinking I lost and took a good guy for granted and now I hate to admit it but I freaking miss him. It's so ironic how the tables have turned. I didn't even think I could feel this certain type of way about him. Yeah.... how about that. The above quotes of yours are me. WORD. FOR. WORD. I keep telling myself it's because I'm lonely right now. But the reality is there was something about him that drew me in. Cause trust me, I have no problem telling a guy I'm not interested in to take a hike. Now I'm screwed... I understand. I have no advice, but I understand. 1
Suave Posted May 28, 2013 Posted May 28, 2013 Why did you look at her Facebook?! That's the worst thing you can do in a situation like this. Facebook is all about the life you want other people to think you lead, when in reality it's often not nearly as glamorous as the picky-choosy things we choose to put up for others to see. Avoid any and all social media attached to him. Trust me, you don't want to do it.
Author BLo7687 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 So he called today. I was coming home from work and I get a call from him. I really didn't expect him to call at all. I did not pick up. But he did leave a voicemail that was over a minute or so long. He was talking very fast. This is what he said... "Hey (my name)..I'm so sorry it took me a long time to ever get to call you back. There's a new commander/squadron and they change all the rules. We only got 2 phone calls throughout all BMT and this is my 2nd one pretty much and the first time I actually got my phone back because I had to use the calling card before. Anyways I only literally have 20 seconds. i just wanted to say hi and let you know that it's not that I was trying to be mean or rude or ignore you. I really wasn't. I didn't even get to call my parents on the first day we were actually suppose to call. It took me 2 weeks before to actually call them and I only had 3 min. They're very strict with squadron/spec ops. Anyways I just wanted to say hi and I hope everything is going well with you. I know your probably still at work. I don't know what the time difference is, I'm assuming it's about an hour. It should be 4:45p over there but im not sure. Anyways have a great week. I mean just letting you know that I still haven't forgotten you. You know I would like to communicate again once I get out of here. My graduation is June 7. I will buy a laptop as soon as I get out of here. When I'm in tech school, I'm gonna get on fb or call you. I'll message you once I get a chance. My graduation is going to be next week on thurs and fri. And that monday which is going to be on the 9th or 10th or so, we're going to be getting our phones back and I'll be able to call you then. Anyways I hope everything is going well with you. Sorry again that it took so long to call. It wasn't on me. We don't get our phones like we use to. The rules are very strict here. And sorry about the mail. I couldn't give you the address, I was only able to give it to my own parents and that literally was it and even then it took me like 3 weeks before I could actually do so. Anyways have a great week like I said. Hope everything is going well..bye." Anyways I know we left on good terms but I didn't pick up because I realized I'm no longer a part of his life.
Author BLo7687 Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 These breadcrumbs are a killer lol. I wish he hadn't called.
Author BLo7687 Posted June 11, 2013 Author Posted June 11, 2013 Fck. I caved and texted him during the weekend. I knew he was graduating from boot camp so I basically just said "congrats and that I was happy for him". So my dumb ass checks his facebook and there's a bunch of pics of him and his gf during his graduation. Not that it bothered me a whole a lot because I've already seen pics of them before but it did trigger something. That was suppose to be me and I was easily replaced. I know I didn't give him a full commitment on the future and I know if I gave the relationship my all who knows, we'd probably still be together. He took a different route. Can't do anything to change the past now. And then low and behold he ends up texting and calling me today. I missed his call and ended up calling him back smh. I congratulated him. He wanted to catch up and see how I was doing. Told me what went on at boot camp and what's been going on in his life. Said he wanted to skype sometime. Asked if I had a boyfriend. Said he was still "comfortable" with me. Talked about our past for a bit. I asked about his gf and at first it seemed like he didn't want to talk about her but ended up saying "All I needed was someone to make an effort. She makes an effort. You only wanted to make an effort after we were breaking up." He called me twice to talk for a bit. Said he wants to catch up more later and talk again. Wtf am I doing? Why did I pick up?! Maybe I liked the fact that he still thinks about me just a tiny bit but who knows I'll probably be feeling crappy about this in a few days. He said the gf knows that we still talk sometimes but I doubt he tells her everything we talk about. Sticky situation. Lol I'm just torturing myself at this point. This is on me guys
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