GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Scandal 2x20 "A Woman Scorned" Olivia to Fitz " If You Want Me Earn Me - We're Over" HD - YouTube -good clip from the show Scandal I've watched this clip from Scandal like 10 times because it literally makes me so motivated- only problem is... I can't watch it all the time, like when MM is around the corner at work. I'm mainly posting here so I don't send him a message. Because I can't give him any more of me. I won't. He sent me a msg yesterday that said "Are you finished with me or something?" and I questioned him and he just said I wasn't looking at him the same (we work together). Wait. what? I explained things were good and normal... fed his ego. And he just said okay. So, this morning he walks by and says hi but barely looks at me. So, thinking we're "in this and I'm his girlfriend" I can text him and speak my mind. So, i send him this long message about him seeming upset, and that I was missing him and it gets to me sometimes, but that i understood because it is what it is. that i was thinking of him and wanted him to know. and to have a good day. He sends back "Thanks." It's ridiculous. He flips because I don't look at him the same for one day? But if I open up and put my heart out there, its okay for him to be a di*k because he can? This coming from the man who last time I texted "bye" said "don't say that word. i don't like it coming from you. " please. I wish wish wish I could have just said YES when he asked "are you finished with me" yesterday. though nothing has prompted it to end other than the fact that it's an A and I am nothing to him but sex (regardless of how much he loves me and cares). I am so empowered when I am not around him-- when he isnt texting me. When I'm reading these posts. Then I see him and I don't know how to not look at him or speak to him. Ok. End rant. Guess I'll go watch the clip again and get re-motivated. He won't try to earn me. I never required him to. 2
DelusionalOne Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Hi G2NW. I didn't really know your backstory so I had to go back and read some of your old threads. Wow.... this has been going on a while. You do know and understand that you are worth way more than this ...man... deserves right? I know how hard it is to work with the MOM, granted I don't bump into my xMM in the hallway but it's still hard. Sweetie, you are still young...walk away from this pos. He is using you. And this is coming from someone who's only been around here a month and hasn't been following your story. Why are you feeding his ego? WHY? Why are you opening your heart to him? I don't care how great the sex is, it can't be so great that you will let someone treat you like garbage. Walk away...and the next time he asks "Are you done with me?" Just roll your eyes at him and say "So done!" NC is not easy...and I'm not sure it ever gets easy (never done it before), but I DO know that the resolve to stay NC gets stronger. Your resolve to be treated with the respect you deserve gets stronger. Girl, it's time for your pride to kick in. 2
BrokenPrincess Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Greyhound, Funnily enough, this episode last week was the final straw to push me to email xMM a direct question about what his deal was. Last Friday morning I even searched it on YouTube & watched it again to get the strength to draft my email. I wasn't courageous enough to end it myself, but it did help me make the decision to stop wondering and get a resolution. Hope tonight's episode has Olivia happy as can be without her MM because its been a long week for me. Hope you're feeling a little better tonight 1
Praying4Peace Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 You need to fake it till you make it. Fake confidence like her. Ignore him as much as you can without being petty and mean about it. Become someone who has to be earned. When you feel and think it, you'll become it. And when you become it, he'll notice. Not right away bc thats not how you've always been so he'll chalk it up to being mad about something. But keep at it. And you know what? You will become someone worth more that needs to be earned. And by that time so many normal decent guys will be around that it won't even matter how it affects him. You can use him as the motivation but in the end if you feel good about yourself you won't need him to notice or react. 2
psm04 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Greyhound, the things that you wrote remind me of similar things my xOMM used to do, especially in the beginning of our affair. Every time he felt that I was getting distant, he'd ask all these questions, hear what he needed to hear from me, and then when I started writing or saying emotional things to him, he would reply with one word or one sentence. You're right. You should NOT give him any more of you. Post here all you want. I posted here earlier so that I didn't end up telling him how I was feeling. I also have the same issue as you with being fine until I see him/speak to him. That's why I've been completely staying away, and even getting out of work events so that I don't have to look at him or be around him. You do what you need to do to heal, you know?
Goodbye Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Greyhound...ugh, I feel your pain. I do. It is such a crappy game. And your name sums it up: a trip to NOWHERE. Your MM is demanding attention from you like a child. And you are on the hook. I hope you get up the strength to send him packing, you deserve so much more. I haven't watched your clip yet, but I will do so. Hang in there. 1
Goodbye Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Just watched the clip...wow. Yup, that is how MM operate.
Sarabi Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 He won't try to earn me. I never required him to. I would rather say he shouldn't try to earn you...because he shouldn't even bother trying to touch what he can't afford... and you are PRICELESS (i.e. way better than him and far out of his reach ) 1
Author GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 You need to fake it till you make it. Fake confidence like her. Ignore him as much as you can without being petty and mean about it. Become someone who has to be earned. When you feel and think it, you'll become it. And when you become it, he'll notice. Not right away bc thats not how you've always been so he'll chalk it up to being mad about something. But keep at it. And you know what? You will become someone worth more that needs to be earned. And by that time so many normal decent guys will be around that it won't even matter how it affects him. You can use him as the motivation but in the end if you feel good about yourself you won't need him to notice or react. thank you. i know i have to fake it, but it's just hard when i've been being everything i can for this man for almost 2 years and yet i'm still in the same place. and i hate that i've let him bring me down to this level where i dont even recognize myself sometimes. i want to get to that point of not caring.
Author GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 thank you all for responding. i changed my pattern up today because i always stand in the same spot every morning and he will walk by and we say our good mornings and he'll wink at me. so this morning- i didnt stand there. i made every effort to not see him. i didn't even come back out of the hallway later that morning which is the only other time we can see each other at work. BUT then i look up and there is he- coming down my hallway. he's like "i wanted to come check on you since you weren't in your spot this morning. " i just said "oh. i'm good.' and he's like "well alright, just wanted to check.' and i acted very 'whatever' and said nothing else and he walked away. he didnt text at all today. and i dont think i'll hear from him this wkend, which will make 2 weeks since we've 'spent time together' and we hardly ever go that long in between times of him coming over. so... its becoming the perfect opportunity to just pull away. it was one thing when he made me feel good-- when he was 'doing what he needed to do' to keep me happy and feel like he loved me, but its like he doesnt care enough to worry about it now? maybe that's him saying he's done, too? and i guess it wouldnt really be that bad in the end. and the weeknds are of course the hardest. sigh.
spice4life Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Start planting this question in your mind, "Why would I want a guy who uses people to try to earn me?" You don't this guy. He has proved who he is by his actions. Enough said right? 1
Author GreyhoundtoNowhere Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 I know. I don't know why I want this man like I do. He is 13 years old than me. There is clearly no future. I have other men interested, but I know it wouldn't be fair to date anyone, plus the last guy I was hanging out with... even kissing him felt like I was "cheating" on MM. (trust me- i know how ABSOLUTELY ridiculous that is). How is it only 8 on a friday night? Getting to Monday when I already feel this way seems impossible.
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