dreamer85 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 So here is my story. I work in the medical field and one day about 6 weeks ago a intern physician assistant came to our office to learn. I would notice him looking at me and then he started saying hello. Then one night we worked together and he started to talk to me. After that night he asked me if I was on facebook, he looked me up and then we were fb friends. Next I know he tells me to text him and gives me his number, so I do. Next I know he is texting me all the time, asking me when im taking my lunch break, and always wanting to take breaks together etc etc. Buying me coffee the whole bit. Fast foward a week later and now he wants to hang out outside of the work environment, so as I was attracted to him I agree. Prior to hanging out outside of work he tells how school is his number one priority so not really looking for a relationship but someone to hang out with and that he had a GF in his hometown that was a serious relationship but he couldnt do the long distance no more so they only talk once in a while now and for now she is on back burner. So we hang out and we went out to eat and then for ice cream, and he paid as though it was a date. Next I know we hooked up in his jeep. He tells me to text him when i get home after so I do and told him i had a great time. He said he did too but then wrote, "just dont fall in love with me haha". So then a few days later we hang out again, this time at him and his room mates place. we started out watching a movie but then hooked up again. After we hooked up he seemed like something was wrong, he was almost cold. so we just laid there watching tv and a couple times he said why am I so quiet. I was confused by this bc he was the one being all cold. So then he brought me home and texted me and everything seemed ok. Now all of a sudden he is super cold towards me and hardly ever texts me or asks me to hang out. Yesterday I was crying at work bc I had a bad day and he happened to see. So on my way home he called and said he wanted to know if I was okay bc he thought something happened to me and wanted to see if I was okay. AS soon as i told him i was okay he got right off the phone and is back to being very cold towards to me. As a matter of fact I even texted him last night asking a question, he never replied, so I texted him today saying thanks for answering and he just responded with, "sorry I was busy." So Im thinking its safe to say this guy just used me for what he wanted, but on the other hand why would he call me to see If i was okay? why would he care? Im so confused!!
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 He's not interested. He was just interested in hooking up a couple times. I have a lot of hatred/disdain for men who do that, to be honest... 1
Author dreamer85 Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 yea i know what you mean, i just feel like paying him off but I have to be the bigger person, just dont know why he would call me if he doesnt care, i think if theres ever next time he calls or texts i will tell him that now im too busy. 2
The Shepherd Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 So he tells you he has a girlfriend and he is not looking for a relationship and you go ahead and sleep with him and are feeling used now? What did you think he was looking for? Why would he call and why would he care? He probably just wants to make sure you would still be alive when he wants his next hookup or maybe he is just displaying one of his emotions.
Author dreamer85 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 Well they arent together anymore and I guess I was ok at first with not being in a relationship but I guess I started to like him more. I thought I would be ok with it but I guess turns out I wasnt.
todreaminblue Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 So here is my story. I work in the medical field and one day about 6 weeks ago a intern physician assistant came to our office to learn. I would notice him looking at me and then he started saying hello. Then one night we worked together and he started to talk to me. After that night he asked me if I was on facebook, he looked me up and then we were fb friends. Next I know he tells me to text him and gives me his number, so I do. Next I know he is texting me all the time, asking me when im taking my lunch break, and always wanting to take breaks together etc etc. Buying me coffee the whole bit. Fast foward a week later and now he wants to hang out outside of the work environment, so as I was attracted to him I agree. Prior to hanging out outside of work he tells how school is his number one priority so not really looking for a relationship but someone to hang out with and that he had a GF in his hometown that was a serious relationship but he couldnt do the long distance no more so they only talk once in a while now and for now she is on back burner. So we hang out and we went out to eat and then for ice cream, and he paid as though it was a date. Next I know we hooked up in his jeep. He tells me to text him when i get home after so I do and told him i had a great time. He said he did too but then wrote, "just dont fall in love with me haha". So then a few days later we hang out again, this time at him and his room mates place. we started out watching a movie but then hooked up again. After we hooked up he seemed like something was wrong, he was almost cold. so we just laid there watching tv and a couple times he said why am I so quiet. I was confused by this bc he was the one being all cold. So then he brought me home and texted me and everything seemed ok. Now all of a sudden he is super cold towards me and hardly ever texts me or asks me to hang out. Yesterday I was crying at work bc I had a bad day and he happened to see. So on my way home he called and said he wanted to know if I was okay bc he thought something happened to me and wanted to see if I was okay. AS soon as i told him i was okay he got right off the phone and is back to being very cold towards to me. As a matter of fact I even texted him last night asking a question, he never replied, so I texted him today saying thanks for answering and he just responded with, "sorry I was busy." So Im thinking its safe to say this guy just used me for what he wanted, but on the other hand why would he call me to see If i was okay? why would he care? Im so confused!! sounds like a game to me....nothing confuses me more or hurts me more than coldness from a man....it freezes me.......i get paranoid.....i cant play along...i cant return coldness......it is my deal breaker......no woman should ever have to fele coldness from a man...i have had enough in my life.......once my ex......was perusing me unaware that my mum was watching him....she said there was no warmth in his eyes looking at me..they were flat and calculating.....i had just had his child a few weeks before............he was cheating on me at the time.alcohol and drug demons ran his life i thought i coudl change him.......i said to my mum...i know mum i have caught that look myself i know it..... i cannot stand that coldness not from any person..a........dont allow anyone to be cold towards you......it kills you piece by piece.......mum also said to me deb your eyes went bleak...after she told me...that bleakness was realization.....he was disgusted with me........getting self esteem back is hard.but possible...harder if you are with someone who doesnt appreciate all that you are or could ever be...find that person.....leave this guy.......i wish you love and light and i wish you true happiness with someone who deserves you...dont be confused...walk away............hugs....deb
ses Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I'm sorry that you're hurt and confused but it does sound like he wanted a NSA hookup with you, nothing more. He manipulated your feelings for him to get you in bed with him. You should have maintained your emotional distance when he told you he was in a relationship. There are plenty of single and available men out there. Find one who will prioritize you as a girlfriend, instead of an option on the back burner. Don't give him the signs that you're just some booty call and demand some respect for yourself. Let him go, and don't respond to his advances. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I do have to say, the ability to manipulate emotions and all of that the guy in this situation did, are skills I need to learn. Would come in mighty handy...
todreaminblue Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I do have to say, the ability to manipulate emotions and all of that the guy in this situation did, are skills I need to learn. Would come in mighty handy... are you still in opposite day...deb 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Fast foward a week later and now he wants to hang out outside of the work environment, so as I was attracted to him I agree. He's not interested. He was just interested in hooking up a couple times. I have a lot of hatred/disdain for men who do that, to be honest... I can't lie. It gives me a sort of a small sense of satisfaction when successful guys do this to women. Because I know that I never would, and OP is exactly the type of woman to reject me and go for the better looking type of guy. Of course, I'm generalizing. But it's a common scenario to be sure. I know it's really bad, but it's the truth.
The Shepherd Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Well they arent together anymore and I guess I was ok at first with not being in a relationship but I guess I started to like him more. I thought I would be ok with it but I guess turns out I wasnt. I read your entire original post once more. I think walking away is your best option.
Author dreamer85 Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 I read your entire original post once more. I think walking away is your best option. I agree. I guess I was just not expecting him to "drop" me just like that bc its not like I acted like i wanted more than a hook up or anything. But since I secretly did kind of end up wanting more it is best to just walk away.
Author dreamer85 Posted May 12, 2013 Author Posted May 12, 2013 Just to update-im even more confused now. So I plan to walk away but before I did I felt i had to get it off my chest so i texted him to be upfront and tell me why he acts like im invisible at work. He said that He tried talking to me and that he just feels as though everyone is watching us so he is trying to keep on the DL and that he really just has been very busy. I dont buy it though. So then later friday night he texted me asking me what Im doing. I told him I had plans and then asked what he was doing. He told me he was going to some bar and so I said well have a good time. He replied with "yep...", whatever that means. I almost took it like he got upset or something that i wasnt hanging with him. Who knows. Then yesterday he texted me asking me how my night was and kept asking me what i was doing last night. But yet I detect he is still distancing himself from me. I never been so confused by a guy!!
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