mortensorchid Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My last started thread here I announced that I was putting up a profile on POF and hoping to find some entertaining stories to share on the forum with the hope of perhaps actually meeting some individual. I have already put into action some filters: 1) Never respond to someone who does not have a picture uploaded. In fact, just delete it without opening the message. It could be spam or someone hiding something clearly. 2) Never respond to someone who asks to see an additional picture of you - all they are interested in is seeing some nasty, naked photo of you (or someone else). Results? I wish I could say that there has been anything of note so far save for these things. In another dating advice book I read specifically for the OLD world (and I won't say which one because I AIN'T CRAZY), it seems to be true. If one has not asked to meet or even offered a phone number by a 4th email then he never will. They treat the website like a video game or a pen pal situation. There are some out there who are emailing each other for weeks, sometimes months, and never the twain shall meet. It's a time waster. If something of note pops up, I will inform others. But I was curious if others out there have had just such a story or situation with this or any other website. The paid ones are another story but the free ones ... Christ almighty.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My last started thread here I announced that I was putting up a profile on POF and hoping to find some entertaining stories to share on the forum with the hope of perhaps actually meeting some individual. I have already put into action some filters: 1) Never respond to someone who does not have a picture uploaded. In fact, just delete it without opening the message. It could be spam or someone hiding something clearly. 2) Never respond to someone who asks to see an additional picture of you - all they are interested in is seeing some nasty, naked photo of you (or someone else). Results? I wish I could say that there has been anything of note so far save for these things. In another dating advice book I read specifically for the OLD world (and I won't say which one because I AIN'T CRAZY), it seems to be true. If one has not asked to meet or even offered a phone number by a 4th email then he never will. They treat the website like a video game or a pen pal situation. There are some out there who are emailing each other for weeks, sometimes months, and never the twain shall meet. It's a time waster. If something of note pops up, I will inform others. But I was curious if others out there have had just such a story or situation with this or any other website. The paid ones are another story but the free ones ... Christ almighty. Numbers 1 and 2 are common sense. At least they are to me. The part I bolded is really interesting, and not uncommon to read. I have heard many women say this, that if someone hasn't asked to meet or asked for a phone number by x number of messages it means they aren't interested or some variation thereof. In my experience though, it's the women who are reluctant to meet or offer a phone number if asked. Almost always when I ask to meet up or talk on the phone the request is met with silence. So, there seems to be some kind of disconnect here... 1
sillyanswer Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 If one has not asked to meet or even offered a phone number by a 4th email then he never will. Your experiment hasn't gone on long enough to demonstrate this. From my own experience I can assure you that it isn't true.
phineas Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Might want to re-think #2. I ALWAYS have women asking me for more pictures before we meet. ALWAYS.
charlietheginger Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I think additional pictures are a must.... to make sure they look like they do in the picture And the pics are not out dated or edited
BluEyeL Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 In another dating advice book I read specifically for the OLD world (and I won't say which one because I AIN'T CRAZY), it seems to be true. If one has not asked to meet or even offered a phone number by a 4th email then he never will. . From "The Rules of Online Dating":p What's the big secret that you read that book? I read ALL dating books on the market. Might have missed one or two lol
BluEyeL Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I'd add/warn that even if they offer a phone number, or even if they call and even if they set up a date, sometimes they disappear and/or cancel. But remember the next rule: "never go out with someone who cancels more than once" Also, never talk to anyone who says anything about sex by email. Good luck with that on POF ) 2
apple OR orange Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 In my experience though, it's the women who are reluctant to meet or offer a phone number if asked. Almost always when I ask to meet up or talk on the phone the request is met with silence. So, there seems to be some kind of disconnect here... This game works both ways, the assumption is made when you see women on the dating sites they WANT to meet, in tests i have done it shows that just want an email partner. WHen asking them for there phone number or giving mine out it results in no call and no email contact ever again. As the test i didnt use my picture, i used a "nice" looking guy.
phineas Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 This game works both ways, the assumption is made when you see women on the dating sites they WANT to meet, in tests i have done it shows that just want an email partner. WHen asking them for there phone number or giving mine out it results in no call and no email contact ever again. As the test i didnt use my picture, i used a "nice" looking guy. Oh they want to meet someone off the site. But, that particular someone doesn't exist in real life & certainly doesn't exist on the site so they will attention whore while they wait for the missing link to create a profile. This is why I number close ASAP to avoid spending a week or two emailing someone who then disappears or says "I don't think we are compatible" when I ask for the number. 2
Casablanca Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 2) Never respond to someone who asks to see an additional picture of you - all they are interested in is seeing some nasty, naked photo of you (or someone else). 2 is only a good rule if you have clear full body pictures...if there is nothing but face shots, one would probably like to know if you're HWP it's the women who are reluctant to meet or offer a phone number if asked. Almost always when I ask to meet up or talk on the phone the request is met with silence. I've only had one or two be weary, I've had nothing but almost universal success in meeting up/getting a number. I also offer to meet, rather than talk on the phone, I don't like talking with someone on the phone until I've met them usually. I've actually had a few women volunteer their phone number before I could even ask...I don't know, but I've been told that I have a trusting appearance and personality, so I dunno. I have had a couple who wanted to see my facebook just to see if I was real and who I said I was, which that was fine. POF = Dumpster Diving Depends, I've seen good quality there at times, and not at other times...just depends on where you are. Any free site will have its share of trash
ChessPieceFace Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 1) Never respond to someone who does not have a picture uploaded. 2) Never respond to someone who asks to see an additional picture of you Uhhh... you don't find those 2 things the slightest bit contradictory / hypocritical? You demand to see pictures from them, but if they ask for one additional picture they're toast?
Casablanca Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Uhhh... you don't find those 2 things the slightest bit contradictory / hypocritical? You demand to see pictures from them, but if they ask for one additional picture they're toast? I think it depends on context, I totally agree with statement 1, but say you only have plenty of full and clear body pictures, no reason for anyone to ask for more pictures
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I've only had one or two be weary, I've had nothing but almost universal success in meeting up/getting a number. I also offer to meet, rather than talk on the phone, I don't like talking with someone on the phone until I've met them usually. I've actually had a few women volunteer their phone number before I could even ask...I don't know, but I've been told that I have a trusting appearance and personality, so I dunno. I have had a couple who wanted to see my facebook just to see if I was real and who I said I was, which that was fine. Almost every time I ask for a number or a meeting that's when the conversation ends. They aren't interested in any further communication. I have no idea what goes wrong.
PogoStick Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I have 9 numbers in my phone from recent OLD, 4-5 that I'm still talking with or working on a 1st meeting. 2 that I'm holding onto with the hope things might get another chance. It's not that hard. Exchange a couple of emails then say, I'd much rather get to know you in person. Want to meet for a drink? What's your number? And I always send mine 1st in that email. I'd add/warn that even if they offer a phone number, or even if they call and even if they set up a date, sometimes they disappear and/or cancel. Women are quite equally guilty of this. Often if it gets to the phone stage a 1st date will happen, but many women show interest, exchange a few emails and totally disappear.
Philosopher Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 POF should be renamed Plenty of Flakes in my opinion. In my experience once I get a phone number on sites such as OkCupid, I generally go on a date with them. However usually on POF they usually disappear or find some excuse to cancel. Though that might just be my experience.
Casablanca Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Almost every time I ask for a number or a meeting that's when the conversation ends. They aren't interested in any further communication. I have no idea what goes wrong. How do you word it? I only contact women who I feel we have a lot in common and have decided to not message women who while I find attractive, didn't see much in her profile that spoke to me. At the end of my 4th-ish message I'll say something like "It has been nice getting to know you, but it is hard to really get to know someone unless you've met in person and I wanted to know if you'd be interested in meeting up for a coffee or a drink sometime to see how interact?" I like setting up the meeting instead of just asking for the number, it sets up the date already, and its an easy out for me if they aren't who they seem to be and same for them if they are worried that if I'm not who I seem to be. You can leave and never call back. I did have one girl who didn't want to give me her number until we met because she didnt want creepers to have her number, so that worked for her, we actually dated for a year
phineas Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 I think it depends on context, I totally agree with statement 1, but say you only have plenty of full and clear body pictures, no reason for anyone to ask for more pictures I agree. But if you as a woman assume a guy wants nudes if he asks for more pics I don't think you should be on a dating site until you work on some of your issues. Also, after i've talked on the phone to a woman from OLD they have almost always asked me to send them more pics & all of my picks are labeled by date & at least from the knee's up with me wearing clothes that fit. So why ask for more pics?
El Brujo Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 Knowing what I know now about OLD, I can totally agree with the OP; I'm male, but I know that a lot of the men on OLD (or maybe most of them) are just downright lewd and will do just about anything to get sex---anything but straighten up and fly right. Or at the very least, get a prescription for Androcur so they won't be so damn horny. But OLD is a double-edged sword... many decent guys try it and get nothing to show for it. At least part of the time this is because they try to contact women who turn out to be nothing but fake profiles. Even in the rare event that a woman on an OLDS makes the first move by cold-messaging a guy, how can the guy know it isn't just one of the site's ghostwriters baiting him by having the "woman" message him? He can never know for sure. That's why I only stick with IRL now. Some IRL events are pretty fun, and others suck... but I've never seen a fake profile show up at an IRL event. It wouldn't surprise me though... any day now, I expect to go to a meetup and see some skinny bald-headed guy with a goatee walk in the door with a cheesy plastic woman mask on his face and try to pass himself off as a real woman.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 12, 2013 Posted May 12, 2013 How do you word it? I only contact women who I feel we have a lot in common and have decided to not message women who while I find attractive, didn't see much in her profile that spoke to me. At the end of my 4th-ish message I'll say something like "It has been nice getting to know you, but it is hard to really get to know someone unless you've met in person and I wanted to know if you'd be interested in meeting up for a coffee or a drink sometime to see how interact?" I like setting up the meeting instead of just asking for the number, it sets up the date already, and its an easy out for me if they aren't who they seem to be and same for them if they are worried that if I'm not who I seem to be. You can leave and never call back. I did have one girl who didn't want to give me her number until we met because she didnt want creepers to have her number, so that worked for her, we actually dated for a year Yup, that's pretty much how I word it. With only three exceptions that's where the contact ended.
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