Corgi Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I met this pretty great guy one night, we had really great chemistry. We went to his place , he gave me the tour, and we just made out. I told him before going anywhere with him that I will not be a one night stand or a fwb. He said he just moved hefe a week ago and wasn't looking for a relationship right away. I said fine, call me when he changes his mind maybe it will go somewhere. He asked to at least be friends. Alright.. I told him again I'm not going to sleep with him. We made out all night and he didn't push for sex. During a break, he asked me "what if I took you on a proper date? Do you like hiking? How about this sunday?" I was kinda surprised and skeptical he even asked me out when he said dating isn't what he wanted. I told him I would probably be working and I'd have to wait for next week's orders. He said "so sunday?" I said again, I have to check! We made out again during a show and when I started to get really turned on he stopped and told me he wanted to wait until one day I just attack him. He offered me his bed or the guest room, I took the guest room. He joked "dont sneak in and rape me!", I replied "dont worry, I wont!". He woke me up in the morning and he walked me to my car. He asked "will you see me again?", I told him yes and we kissed. Saturday came and I sent a text "were you serious about sunday or not?" He replied yes, he was but it depends on the time. We didn't go out Sunday so the next day I said if he wants to see me again just give me a heads up. (i was gonna just drop it after that) and he said yes definitely and asked when I was free. I told him the times I was free, he said thurs he would have to see and his uncle's bday was tues. I haven't sent him a message since and he hasn't either. Is he interested at all?? He seemed very interested in seeing me again until I left. He tried very hard to impress me that night too. I do know he just moved and he he told me about a lot of stuff he has to do before he asked me out but he hasn't initiated but did reply right away. I want to see him again but I also know he said he didn't want to date, yet he asked me out but aside from sunday, hasn't set a time. As of this time, he has been here two/two and a half weeks. Any suggestions?? I'm kinda confused and cautious.
Treasa Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Gut reaction? You were a conquest to be won until you started crawling all over him, which killed the chase. I don't think he's terribly interested.
soccerrprp Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Gut reaction? You were a conquest to be won until you started crawling all over him, which killed the chase. I don't think he's terribly interested. Hmmm. Not so sure about this. I think he lost interest b/c he'd been told on a couple of occasions that he is not going to have sex. So, my feeling is that since he is not going to get it when he wants it that he decided to let her go. Maybe he found someone who was willing to give him what he wanted? If he was really into the chase, would he have given up? I mean, he got her to make out and really get excited, he slept in the guest room, but convinced her to say, and she was still interested. I would think that he would be feeling, hmmmm, i'm getting closer to what I want....or as I said earlier, no worth it, she's not going to give it up. OP, you did the right thing. He may contact you again, but he was wanting a physical encounter. Eh, what do I know?
Author Corgi Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 You think so? e was really "voracious" the whole night and towards the second part he was touching himself during. I started inciating moves that he really liked and he finished. He also said he wanted to please me and turn me on and then say no, so that I would go crazy for him. He hasn't had me yet, I didn't even touch him there. I've been kinda confused.
Author Corgi Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 (edited) Why bother asking me hiking? And most guys say "thanks for coming out" and not "will you see me again?". He IS full of himself and I took pleasure poking holes in his ego, which he seemed to like. Edited May 9, 2013 by Corgi missed two words, on my phone :/
Author Corgi Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 He was really pushy about Sunday btw. I honestly couldnt agree my work changes all the time.
BluEyeL Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I also don't think he is interested. I don't know why, but I've seen stories like this before and it has happened to me. You make out with the guy, and he loses interest. But time will tell, stop asking him disappear and he might come and ask you out. If he doesn't, let it go, it means he's not interested. 1
curlygirl40 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I met this pretty great guy one night, we had really great chemistry. We went to his place , he gave me the tour, and we just made out. I told him before going anywhere with him that I will not be a one night stand or a fwb. He said he just moved hefe a week ago and wasn't looking for a relationship right away. I said fine, call me when he changes his mind maybe it will go somewhere. He asked to at least be friends. Alright.. I told him again I'm not going to sleep with him. We made out all night and he didn't push for sex. During a break, he asked me "what if I took you on a proper date? Do you like hiking? How about this sunday?" I was kinda surprised and skeptical he even asked me out when he said dating isn't what he wanted. I told him I would probably be working and I'd have to wait for next week's orders. He said "so sunday?" I said again, I have to check! We made out again during a show and when I started to get really turned on he stopped and told me he wanted to wait until one day I just attack him. He offered me his bed or the guest room, I took the guest room. He joked "dont sneak in and rape me!", I replied "dont worry, I wont!". He woke me up in the morning and he walked me to my car. He asked "will you see me again?", I told him yes and we kissed. Saturday came and I sent a text "were you serious about sunday or not?" He replied yes, he was but it depends on the time. We didn't go out Sunday so the next day I said if he wants to see me again just give me a heads up. (i was gonna just drop it after that) and he said yes definitely and asked when I was free. I told him the times I was free, he said thurs he would have to see and his uncle's bday was tues. I haven't sent him a message since and he hasn't either. Is he interested at all?? He seemed very interested in seeing me again until I left. He tried very hard to impress me that night too. I do know he just moved and he he told me about a lot of stuff he has to do before he asked me out but he hasn't initiated but did reply right away. I want to see him again but I also know he said he didn't want to date, yet he asked me out but aside from sunday, hasn't set a time. As of this time, he has been here two/two and a half weeks. Any suggestions?? I'm kinda confused and cautious. I gotta figure out how to multi quote. In the meantime, to the bolded: 1. You said in this post that you just made out but then you say later on that 'he finished'. That's not just making out. 2. When a guy says he doesn't want a relationship, believe him. He doesn't want a relationship 3. During a break he said 'what if I took you on a proper date?' This is a guy who still doesn't want a relationship but is wondering what he would have to do to sleep with you. This is the first night you've met and he already has you back at his place. So you make it clear you're not going to sleep with him so in the back of his mind he's thinking 'what do I need to do to get her to sleep with me? I know, maybe if I take her on a proper date', so that's why he asked. It does not mean anything. 4. If he was serious about Sunday and wanted to take you out, he would have contacted you. He's not that interested or you wouldn't need to be contacting him. 5. You also shouldn't need to say, and shouldn't have said 'if you want to see me again, give me a heads up'. If he wants to see you, he knows what to do. You're doing all the work here. 6. He hasn't initiated. Bad sign. He should be doing all of the initiating at this point. IMO 7. Correct. He said he didn't want to date. You should listen. 8. He didn't ask you out aside from Sunday. You said 'if you want to see me give me a heads up' and you haven't heard from him again. O.K, so what was your question again? Oh ya, NO he's not interested. You think you have the upper hand because you didn't sleep with him on the first date therefore bruised his ego or something. If he was interested he would be pursuing and initiating. He's not. You're making it very easy on him and he's not even really biting.
BluEyeL Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 I've been thinking of this phenomenon of disappearing after a make out session. I think that, to keep and grow a guy's interest, you need to maintain that mystery and make him fantasize about how it would be to touch you/smell you etc. That before actual intercourse. Once they get to making out too quickly, you lose that interest, they go from the high to low and not so interested to work to truly get in your pants. Something along these lines. To that, add that they are a little pissed that they didn't get the sex at that time.
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