Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 It's been almost 1 month since I ask in this site what to do when he doesn't want to be exclusive , well all the responses suggested to confronted and ask him about our situation and I did . His response that night was that we were going to try to make it work , and 72 hrs later to make it short ... I can't give u what u want , I don't want this , it's not you it's me and the one that hurt the most .. You don't deserve this you are a good person , this one hurt the most because why if I'm a good person why he doesn't want to be with me ??? He was really really rude with me the day that we spoke about this he really hurt me because I did love him and I was like in shock because how someone can change their mind in 3 days and say all the hurtful things to somebody who really cares for you ? Now this is the situation , sometimes we talk , I'm the one who text him (its wrong I know ) but sometimes I get the feeling of knowing from him .. Stupid I know . So last night we told me that we wants to see me just for sex , plain and simple . He said well I don't want to sleep over , I ll just go for a little time ! Now I'm angry and seeking for revenge , because how he dares to ask me for sex after he dump me , now the question is what do I do ? What's the best way to make him feel what I felt ??
TaraMaiden Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Good grief! You really need to ask??? You completely cut him off at the knees, and you go complete, total, right-across-the-board No Contact! The guy is a jerk, and he's using you. So what you do is logical..... You delete him from your life, A-Z, and you live your life complete and happy, without him. I can't believe you actually had to ask. Sorry, I just can't....
Granin Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Other than inviting him round and biting his nob off, what Tara said
Author Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I'm not going to have sex with him that's clear !!! But what I want it's to make him feel a little bit the way that I felt when he did what he did to me , that's my question
MidwestUSA Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I'm not going to have sex with him that's clear !!! But what I want it's to make him feel a little bit the way that I felt when he did what he did to me , that's my question A bit of reading comprehension difficulty here? Wait for it...................
Author Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 So now I'm the irrational in the story ?? All I ask was the best way to make him pay what he did to me , But it seems that nobody it's been in my shoes
MidwestUSA Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 So now I'm the irrational in the story ?? All I ask was the best way to make him pay what he did to me , But it seems that nobody it's been in my shoes I think no one here is going to help you with methods of revenge, that's all. Perhaps there's another forum for that, good luck.
Author Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I guess you are right , really bad idea to share a personal experience here with all this criticism
CarrieT Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I guess you are right , really bad idea to share a personal experience here with all this criticism I am sorry you are feeling criticized. I read your other posts and the bottom line is that you got involved with a FWB situation and began to have feelings. It happens all too often and is why those of us that have been around the block a number of times heartily recommend against FWB for these very reasons. But now you are asking for help to get back at him - for engaging in behaviour that you allowed? 1
TaraMaiden Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 No. You never asked in your original post, how to gain revenge. You asked how to make him feel like you felt. You also said he wanted sex. I gave you a response to both factors: Do not have sex with him, ad Go No Contact. That - believe it or not - will be ample 'revenge'. But deliberately hurting someone, (or even seeking to) is extremely negative Karma. And it would help you if you handled things a little more maturely.....
snowflakes88 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 For you to make him feel like you felt, he would have to care about you. He does not.
Treasa Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 You can't make someone else feel a certain way. All you can do is control your actions and how YOU feel. 2
Author Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Ok maybe I wast clear when I said "make him feel what I felt " I felt stupid ,betrayed , used, I don't want him to love me , I don't want to go back with him al all . This won't be the solution .
CarrieT Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I don't want to go back with him al all . This won't be the solution . The solution is to walk away from him, go No Contact, and live your life the best you can. That is the only solution open to you that makes any sense. 2
Zahara Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Ok maybe I wast clear when I said "make him feel what I felt " I felt stupid ,betrayed , used, I don't want him to love me , I don't want to go back with him al all . This won't be the solution . You feel stupid, betrayed and used because you are emotional about him. He isn't emotional about you and doesn't care, so there is nothing much you can do to make him feel the way you do.
BluEyeL Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Ok maybe I wast clear when I said "make him feel what I felt " I felt stupid ,betrayed , used, I don't want him to love me , I don't want to go back with him al all . This won't be the solution . This is pointless, but if you want, make him believe you'll have sex with him, and then turn around a say no last minute. That will piss him off. But it is stupid, just move on and don't give him another minute of thought.
BetheButterfly Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 OP, I am sorry for your pain. My advice is to let go. Let go of the pain and anger and bitterness you feel towards him. Why? Because holding all that inside you and wanting to get revenge is only hurting you. He is obviously not the man for you. Please let him go and I hope you find a wonderful man who loves you and who would not even think of treating you like this guy did/does!!! 1
BetheButterfly Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 This is pointless, but if you want, make him believe you'll have sex with him, and then turn around a say no last minute. That will piss him off. But it is stupid, just move on and don't give him another minute of thought. I disagree with this advice. I think it's best just to let him and the bitterness and the desire for revenge go. I think it's best to instead concentrate on healing and embracing joy and love and peace! 1
Author Ale khun Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I'm really hurt thats all . I have a lot of resentment for what he did . I keep thinking over and over of what happend and I try really hard to let go , and now I'm just talking with the wound open 1
BetheButterfly Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I'm really hurt thats all . I have a lot of resentment for what he did . I keep thinking over and over of what happend and I try really hard to let go , and now I'm just talking with the wound open I understand. That happened to me once after my divorce from my first husband and before I met my husband! It really, really hurts. I didn't want to be a FWB yet it seemed I got sucked into it. I finally ended it since I could tell he had no desire to commit with me. I felt so upset to have believed he would and yet now I am SO GRATEFUL AND HAPPY that he didn't want to commit with me!!! Isn't that weird? The reason is because when I let him go and all the bitterness and hurt, I began to heal and was in an awesome place emotionally when I met my husband!!! I LOVE my husband and I am so glad it didn't work with anyone else!!! My husband is my soulmate! I don't know how long it will take for a wonderful man to come into your life, but the sooner you let go of the hurts of the past and the men who hurt you, the easier it becomes to heal and to be ready for a wonderful and healthy man!!! I know it's so hard right now to see the positive side, but please for your own sake, please focus on the positives and allow your heart to heal. Please don't hold on to bitterness, because bitterness is poison to one's mind.
TaraMaiden Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 You're hurting yourself by giving him head-room and space in your life. You need - for your own sanity, as well as showing him what's what - to go complete total No Contact. It's no good complaining about how much he hurts you, if you still give him your time and company. That's on you - so quit doing it. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Ok maybe I wast clear when I said "make him feel what I felt " I felt stupid ,betrayed , used, I don't want him to love me , I don't want to go back with him al all . This won't be the solution . And as someone as posted and wrote, your ex can't feel the way you are feeling because his feelings aren't on par with the way you felt about him. So you see, in order for him to actually feel stupid, betrayed, and used, he has to still love you and want you back. Since that isn't the case, everything you want to ask is moot.
Estate Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 It's been almost 1 month since I ask in this site what to do when he doesn't want to be exclusive , well all the responses suggested to confronted and ask him about our situation and I did . His response that night was that we were going to try to make it work , and 72 hrs later to make it short ... I can't give u what u want , I don't want this , it's not you it's me and the one that hurt the most .. You don't deserve this you are a good person , this one hurt the most because why if I'm a good person why he doesn't want to be with me ??? He was really really rude with me the day that we spoke about this he really hurt me because I did love him and I was like in shock because how someone can change their mind in 3 days and say all the hurtful things to somebody who really cares for you ? Now this is the situation , sometimes we talk , I'm the one who text him (its wrong I know ) but sometimes I get the feeling of knowing from him .. Stupid I know . So last night we told me that we wants to see me just for sex , plain and simple . He said well I don't want to sleep over , I ll just go for a little time ! Now I'm angry and seeking for revenge , because how he dares to ask me for sex after he dump me , now the question is what do I do ? What's the best way to make him feel what I felt ?? You can't "make" someone feel something. 1
BluEyeL Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I disagree with this advice. I think it's best just to let him and the bitterness and the desire for revenge go. I think it's best to instead concentrate on healing and embracing joy and love and peace! I disagree with my own advice. But if she insists on revenge....that's the only idea I got. 1
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