ilovelee Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 So about 6 months ago I found out that my ex gf fell in love with another guy. I went into NC and I was fine. However, we met for coffee and I found out that she still has feelings for me and then she later confessed to being in love with me and apologetic for what happened. However, I am going to graduate and she is going to a different school. She wants to do LD but is afraid that she might end up hurting me again because she does not know how she will change in her 20's. I would love to do LD but it would be hard to trust and also I don't know if I would ever end up in her city. Should we attempt this LD thing or end things amicably, because we have been very happy around each other recently as opposed to hating each other after the initial break up.
Pyro Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Stay away from her. If she isn't sure of what she might do to you then you shouldn't bother. She has some growing up to do still. 1
Author ilovelee Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 (edited) I know what you mean. To be fair, this was my first relationship and I was the jerk near the end. It doesn't justify her actions but I was still pretty bad. She kept trying to say that if we do this, how do I know that I won't meet someone and leave her. The problem is that thought would never cross my mind if I was with someone, I don't care who crosses my path. I think the fact that a thought like that crosses her mind means she knows that might happen to her. She has been so apologetic and being with her the last couple days feels like we just met. But she is so young and I don't think she realizes it. She keeps saying I am this amazing guy but at the same time she has yet to see the world. Edited May 9, 2013 by ilovelee
Pyro Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I know what you mean. To be fair, this was my first relationship and I was the jerk near the end. It doesn't justify her actions but I was still pretty bad. She kept trying to say that if we do this, how do I know that I won't meet someone and leave her. The problem is that thought would never cross my mind if I was with someone, I don't care who crosses my path. I think the fact that a thought like that crosses her mind means she knows that might happen to her. She has been so apologetic and being with her the last couple days feels like we just met. But she is so young and I don't think she realizes it. She keeps saying I am this amazing guy but at the same time she has yet to see the world. From the sounds of that I don't think that she could handle a LD relationship. She wouldn't be able to trust you, regardless of how many times you would assure her that you aren't cheating on her. For most it isn't easy to maintain, so I think that you know what to do. Again she has some growing and maturing to do.
Author ilovelee Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 It is so tough. I still love her despite the fact she cheated. She probably doesn't trust herself and she knows that. This might be her trying to make herself feel less guilty. I'll talk to her and it is probably best if we go our separate ways. I will meet more people and she will meet more people that is just life. I think she came back to me because she is scared about transferring and the unknown and she wanted comfort and I provided that. I am glad to be on speaking terms though.
Pyro Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 It is so tough. I still love her despite the fact she cheated. She probably doesn't trust herself and she knows that. This might be her trying to make herself feel less guilty. I'll talk to her and it is probably best if we go our separate ways. I will meet more people and she will meet more people that is just life. I think she came back to me because she is scared about transferring and the unknown and she wanted comfort and I provided that. I am glad to be on speaking terms though. And who knows what the future holds? You two could possibly get back together if the distance goes away and if she does mature. The unknown is a scary thing at times and I get why she doesn't want to let go but for her sake and yours it is best to let go.
Author ilovelee Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 She kept saying that there is no guarantee that it will work but if you are never afraid to try and get hurt you might miss out. Sure there is a small chance but it is worth it if it works out.
Pyro Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 She kept saying that there is no guarantee that it will work but if you are never afraid to try and get hurt you might miss out. Sure there is a small chance but it is worth it if it works out. It goes without saying that in life there are no guarantees but the fact that she has vocalized that she is afraid of possibly hurting you then to me that says that she is more prone to it. Someone who is confident and would not hurt you would never have something like that cross their minds and let it worry them.
Author ilovelee Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Honestly I never thought I would speak to her again because she made it perfectly clear that she wanted this other guy. However, according to her and her friends that ended quickly and she spent the last 6 months wanting to talk to me but was afraid of rejection. I wanted her back for a long time but I just accepted that she was gone forever. It feels like I am being given a second chance with this amazing girl. I don't know. I feel like I have to be the adult here and make this difficult decision.
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