Sarantt Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Hey My partner broke up with me 6 weeks ago. Things had been going wrong for a while and looking back I think he treated me quite badly, but it still hurts a lot! I've been No Contact for around 2 weeks now. The last time we spoke was because I found out he has been sleeping around for a long time, and I wanted him to know how much he had hurt me. Of course he didn't care at all, and I realised how important it is for me to cut all contact so I can move forward. I'm determined to recover fully, and want to use this time to be by myself and grow as a person. The difficulty I'm having is feeling that I should already be 'over it', since I've realised the relationship was damaging. He's constantly on my mind and in my dreams. I'm practicing meditation and keeping myself busy to try and counteract this but not having a lot of success so far. Is this normal for 6 weeks after a break up? I hate thinking about him when I know he won't be spending any time thinking about me. Will this ease in time? Thanks
richard9 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Perfectly normal. Im about 5+ months since bu, 4+ months since nc. I still think about her most days, although I dont dwell now, its more of a fleeting thought. It takes some people years. So I wouldnt worry, just keep thinking of yourself and keep healing. From my own personal stand point, now is the time (5 - 6 months) where im starting to feel like ive moved on, accepted I wont be with her again, shes not coming back... Nor would I want her to. I even managed a conversation about her with a mutual friend recently, hearing her name and what she was doing now was still a bit uncomfortable to be honest but I handled it and didnt let it bring me down hearing of her moving on with her life. Time really does heal, just give yourself time to grieve and dont put pressure on yourself to heal it wont help. 1
singme2sleep Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 Personally I don't believe time heals but it does help. It offers you prospective and you start looking at your relationship differently than you did when you were wearing the "love goggles" lol
Author Sarantt Posted May 11, 2013 Author Posted May 11, 2013 Thanks for the replies. It's good to know this is normal. I have a friend who's boyfriend dumped her about 8 months ago and she's still struggling to accept it's even happened, and I suppose I've just been scared of getting stuck and not being able to move on. Bizarrely when we were together I felt like my 'love goggles' had already come off and I could see the problems we had, but since he ended it it's like I've gone back to missing the good parts and losing sight of the messed up bits. Do you think it's possible that being rejected by someone makes you love them more? I'm not sure if I'd feel this way if I'd been the one to end it. I've never been truly heartbroken until now, and I didn't realise how horrendous it is. I honestly think its one of the hardest things to get through. The worst bit is realising how little he actually cared by the end.
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