Ed the 3rd Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Literally all I want in a woman is decent looks and a nice personality (inb4 "who doesn't") but recently I've been feeling like its asking for too much. I'm not bad looking in the slightest granted I'm not the typical thin faced jock type who was born with stellar genetics but I work hard for the body I do have and make a lot of sacrifices for it. But I keep getting the vibe that I'm expecting too much. Its hard to feel like you deserve a good looking woman when you see all the blokes at the club who look perfect. Am I just being insecure perhaps?
sillyanswer Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Literally all I want in a woman is decent looks and a nice personality (inb4 "who doesn't") Well, there's your answer. They are in high demand, so many of them are already taken. If you're "expecting" such a woman then you'll probably have to stand out from the crowd somehow. Its hard to feel like you deserve a good looking woman when you see all the blokes at the club who look perfect. Am I just being insecure perhaps? Not sure about insecure, but the language of "expecting" and "deserve" sounds like entitlement. You're not entitled to a good looking girl - nobody is.
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Not so much deserving the girl but feeling like I have no chance. I mean really every girl who isn't 500lb can't taken but I still feel like they are. I by no means think I'm entitled to a decent looking girl but I'd be lying if I wasn't jealous of those "perfect" guys in the club who seem to have no trouble with it. When I said "deserving" I was referring more to myself and my looks rather then wanting a girl to drop to her knees and beg me to go out with her.
SensitiveTJ Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 It's not unreasonable to want an attractive partner. But you have to flip the,question. What do YOU have that would make such a person interested. I personally believe that that all people have a strong inclination to be with someone whom they perceive as their equal. So, if you are interested in women who you describe as being desirable to men you judge to be more attractive than yourself, you may be fighting an uphill battle and be at some disadvantage. But that's why self-improvement is such a big part of the dating game. If you aren't finding success selling yourself to your target market, perhaps you need to improve the product. Or perhaps just tweak your sales pitch. It's all about perception, y'know?
hppr Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Not so much deserving the girl but feeling like I have no chance. I mean really every girl who isn't 500lb can't taken but I still feel like they are. I by no means think I'm entitled to a decent looking girl but I'd be lying if I wasn't jealous of those "perfect" guys in the club who seem to have no trouble with it. When I said "deserving" I was referring more to myself and my looks rather then wanting a girl to drop to her knees and beg me to go out with her. It might help if you defined the sort of girl you'd like to meet. Height, weight, race, what she does for a living, kids no kids, etc. Also I have a sneaking suspicion the places you are looking, and how you are doing that looking, are all wrong.
hppr Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Am I just being insecure perhaps? Yeah that last statement about how all the guys look perfect except you means it's probably an issue with your perception. Really, those guys and girls that you think are perfect really aren't, lots of them are ugly without booze and makeup. Secondly looking for women in clubs where every girl is an attention whore and every guy is a juicemonkey or an art-fag hipster type is a losing proposition. Everything and everyone in those places is fake or crazy.
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 It might help if you defined the sort of girl you'd like to meet. Height, weight, race, what she does for a living, kids no kids, etc. Also I have a sneaking suspicion the places you are looking, and how you are doing that looking, are all wrong.All of its standard really. I don't want a girl who towers over me (an inch or two is fine), weight is very important to me and while I've still got a bit of stubborn fat I've worked my ass off for a long time to get rid of it. Wanting woman who have nice body's would make me a hypocrite if I was fat myself which at a point in my life I was. No kids, employment does not really matter to me and while I love Asians and Latinos I kinda have to come to terms with the fact that where I live nearly everyone is white, I may get lucky on the race thing but the very few I've seen are taken. You are right in that Clubs are not the best place but I don't really know anywhere else at all. Plus the massive confidence boost from alcohol is nice. Every attempt I've made to find better places for meeting people has bared no fruit.
SensitiveTJ Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 All of its standard really. I don't want a girl who towers over me (an inch or two is fine), weight is very important to me and while I've still got a bit of stubborn fat I've worked my ass off for a long time to get rid of it. Wanting woman who have nice body's would make me a hypocrite if I was fat myself which at a point in my life I was. No kids, employment does not really matter to me and while I love Asians and Latinos I kinda have to come to terms with the fact that where I live nearly everyone is white, I may get lucky on the race thing but the very few I've seen are taken. You are right in that Clubs are not the best place but I don't really know anywhere else at all. Plus the massive confidence boost from alcohol is nice. Every attempt I've made to find better places for meeting people has bared no fruit. I think this is your problem right here. Location, location, location. You need to get out of the club/nightlife scene.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 If you think it's asking for too much, then it probably is. You have to play the game within your means. If the only women who are into you are unattractive, well, learn to like unattractive women. That's life...
thefooloftheyear Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 (edited) Do yourself a favor and dont concentrate on looks so much. Maybe cause I have a few more years of experience, at this point the main attributes are intelligence, loyalty, honesty, and ability to be somewhat self-sufficient. What good does it do to wind up with a hot gf that is flirting with every guy in town, cheating, lying, etc,.. And if they are dumb/ignorant and dont have a good career or job prospect then you will wind up working your ass off trying to keep her(and kids) happy..It will wear you out -I dont care how good she looks. Its not the 50's anymore. If you want any sort of a lifestyle and arent a Dr or Wall Street honcho you need two incomes to live.. Dont mistake my comments...There are plenty of good looking AND smart women as well as ugly and dumb ones. If you get the whole package, then you hit the big time... But dont just limit yourself to nice looking, head turning, women..And one other thing..Ive heard that some of those "plain Jane's" are absolutely wild in bed...hmmm Good Luck TFY Edited May 9, 2013 by thefooloftheyear 1
hppr Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 All of its standard really. I don't want a girl who towers over me (an inch or two is fine), weight is very important to me and while I've still got a bit of stubborn fat I've worked my ass off for a long time to get rid of it. Wanting woman who have nice body's would make me a hypocrite if I was fat myself which at a point in my life I was. No kids, employment does not really matter to me and while I love Asians and Latinos I kinda have to come to terms with the fact that where I live nearly everyone is white, I may get lucky on the race thing but the very few I've seen are taken. You are right in that Clubs are not the best place but I don't really know anywhere else at all. Plus the massive confidence boost from alcohol is nice. Every attempt I've made to find better places for meeting people has bared no fruit. Well, unless you can figure out how to play the club field you just have to have a good time in life, socialize and meet people that way. For me I started working out a lot more, dressing better, and flirting with women wherever I went. Also I went to pretty much every party/hangout whatever that friends and coworkers put together, even the ones that I didn't want to go to, and shook as many hands as possible. Another good one is live music shows at small-local clubs and bars. The other big thing is figuring out when women are interested in you, I'm naturally oblivious to everything and oftentimes need to have another guy with me to say "hey, she is into you, go talk to her". That helped a ton as well.
ltjg45 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Asking for a girl attractive enough for you to want her is not asking too much. I don't give a damn if you are like me and didn't have a penny to your name in the past decade. If you are not attracted enough to her that you would want to have passionate sex with her whenever the opportunity appears, let her go. However, asking for a girl to be so sexy, she looks like a celebrity (regardless of what you have to offer) is asking too much.
Alban Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 You first have to ride a golf 2, to learn and get a mercedes
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 If you think it's asking for too much, then it probably is. You have to play the game within your means. If the only women who are into you are unattractive, well, learn to like unattractive women. That's life...No its not. I would much sooner have intercourse with a cheese grater.
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 Asking for a girl attractive enough for you to want her is not asking too much. I don't give a damn if you are like me and didn't have a penny to your name in the past decade. If you are not attracted enough to her that you would want to have passionate sex with her whenever the opportunity appears, let her go. However, asking for a girl to be so sexy, she looks like a celebrity (regardless of what you have to offer) is asking too much.That is just the thing I do not want celebrity looks. I can't establish that enough. Just someone who is attractive to me. I think my problem is I'm not sure how to introduce myself to women. In the clubs they are normally in groups and in the gym they are in groups.
ltjg45 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 If the only women who are into you are unattractive, well, learn to like unattractive women. No. I don't want anyone to do that. If you are not attracted to her, leave her alone. This goes for both males and females. Stay single, commit suicide, rob a bank.... I rather see people do that than get into a relationship with someone they don't want. If I ever get into a relationship and the female tells me she doesn't love for whatever reason, it's over. I will not waste another second of your life.
ltjg45 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 That is just the thing I do not want celebrity looks. I can't establish that enough. Just someone who is attractive to me. I think my problem is I'm not sure how to introduce myself to women. In the clubs they are normally in groups and in the gym they are in groups. My problem is finding women I want to date. I'm stuck around women I don't want. This will apply regardless if I'm a broke hobo or a multi-millionaire. I refuse to sleep with any women I don't find attractive. Due to this and the fact that I'm scared **** of the women attractive enough for me, I'm like you: I don't even know how to get a female's attention let alone keep it so, unfortunately, I can't help you in that regard. If you do want to listen, ask Estate. There is others you can ask as well like ThaWholligan (I don't even know if I'm spelling that correctly or not) and other males and females but those 2 should be in your top 5.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 (edited) From my experience, really attractive women have the world by the short hairs. They have offers flooding in constantly. The only average looking guys I see with attractive women have one thing in common....Money... Even in those cases, Id almost be willing to bet that they are probably screwing the gardener or someone else to make it tolerable for them. I know I am making some generalizations here, but its hard to imagine that a very attractive woman is going to throw themselves at an average Joe... Its just the way life is... TFY Edited May 10, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 10, 2013 Author Posted May 10, 2013 My problem is finding women I want to date. I'm stuck around women I don't want. This will apply regardless if I'm a broke hobo or a multi-millionaire. I refuse to sleep with any women I don't find attractive. Due to this and the fact that I'm scared **** of the women attractive enough for me, I'm like you: I don't even know how to get a female's attention let alone keep it so, unfortunately, I can't help you in that regard. If you do want to listen, ask Estate. There is others you can ask as well like ThaWholligan (I don't even know if I'm spelling that correctly or not) and other males and females but those 2 should be in your top 5.I feel exactly the same. I'm miles more confident then I used to be but I've never actually approached someone let alone a decent looking girl who has a friend with her and made friends with them unless we were thrown together by some circumstance like school or work.
KungFuJoe Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 The thing you gotta understand is that looks and beauty are SO subjective. Even when you're "top tier" like Ryan Gosling or Brad Pitt. Believe it or not, there are women who think Ryan Gosling is just a "decent" looking guy and some, including my wife, who think Brad Pitt is kinda plain looking. Now, obviously NO ONE will say those two are NOT good looking or ugly...but just saying they don't go "gaga" over them like other women might. What I'm trying to get at is that, with so many women out there, with so many different tastes, that unless you're a disfigured burn victim, there's gotta be someone who YOU consider good looking who also thinks YOU are good looking. 1
KungFuJoe Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 From my experience, really attractive women have the world by the short hairs. They have offers flooding in constantly. The only average looking guys I see with attractive women have one thing in common....Money... Even in those cases, Id almost be willing to bet that they are probably screwing the gardener or someone else to make it tolerable for them. I know I am making some generalizations here, but its hard to imagine that a very attractive woman is going to throw themselves at an average Joe... Its just the way life is... TFY I have some pics of myself I've put up before. Personally, I think I'm a decent looking guy...NOW. But back in my early 20s I was a mess. I think the only clothes I owned were t shirts and basketball shorts. I didn't know what a hairstyle was and I drove a beat up '85 Toyota Corolla. And I've had some VERY good looking women throw themselves at me...quite literally. One of them is now my wife. Of course, the women that did hit on me first said they considered me a very good looking person. Just goes to what I was saying about it all being very subjective.
ThaWholigan Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 The thing you gotta understand is that looks and beauty are SO subjective. Even when you're "top tier" like Ryan Gosling or Brad Pitt. Believe it or not, there are women who think Ryan Gosling is just a "decent" looking guy and some, including my wife, who think Brad Pitt is kinda plain looking. Now, obviously NO ONE will say those two are NOT good looking or ugly...but just saying they don't go "gaga" over them like other women might. What I'm trying to get at is that, with so many women out there, with so many different tastes, that unless you're a disfigured burn victim, there's gotta be someone who YOU consider good looking who also thinks YOU are good looking. Precisely this. Cannot understand why people do not get this.
xxoo Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 From my experience, really attractive women have the world by the short hairs. They have offers flooding in constantly. The only average looking guys I see with attractive women have one thing in common....Money... Even in those cases, Id almost be willing to bet that they are probably screwing the gardener or someone else to make it tolerable for them. I know I am making some generalizations here, but its hard to imagine that a very attractive woman is going to throw themselves at an average Joe... Its just the way life is... TFY Are average women attractive? This may be the crux of the issue.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 (edited) I have some pics of myself I've put up before. Personally, I think I'm a decent looking guy...NOW. But back in my early 20s I was a mess. I think the only clothes I owned were t shirts and basketball shorts. I didn't know what a hairstyle was and I drove a beat up '85 Toyota Corolla. And I've had some VERY good looking women throw themselves at me...quite literally. One of them is now my wife. Of course, the women that did hit on me first said they considered me a very good looking person. Just goes to what I was saying about it all being very subjective. I hear you.. However, back in HS I pretty much had my way with every hot girl in HS just because I was one of the stars of the wrestling team. Same for college. It was a pretty good time to be me, heck they didnt even care that I was only 5'7". Now that I am older it seems like the more mature attractive women are looking for the really super good looking types. You know the sharp jawed, 6'4" type that has it all.. I think like you that I am "decent" looking. I have a good physique, have most of my hair, but frankly at 5'7" that will be a deal breaker-even for the average looking women. Looks really dont matter much to me at this point in life..As long as she isn't really ugly, I would be completely happy with a woman that was intelligent, loyal, able to carry her weight in life. I dont want a hot woman that is an idiot and cant do much better than work a register at a department store.. Thats just me.. It is true though..Looks are subjective. One persons dreamboat is another ones dog... TFY Edited May 10, 2013 by thefooloftheyear
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