Need some input.

[loki1007]

So I met a chick a month and a half ago and got her number. We text a few days later and I was trying to get to know her better. She never asked any questions specifically, but answered my questions and then said something like, "how about you?". So I asked her out eventually and she agreed but said when she had time. Then she told me she wasn't looking for a boyfriend right now. Now, at this point I called it quits.

Well after about 3 weeks I decided to see what she was up to this past weekend. She told me where she was, and if I was around to text her. So I did. My friend and I chatted with her and her friend for a while then we sat at a booth. When we sat down I grabbed her hand under the table (little bit intoxicated) but she held mine and even did the little caressing thing with her thumb. When she returned from the restroom she initiated re-holding my hand as well. So the end of the night came and we gave them a ride home. We made out the whole ride to her house and she asked me to walk her to the door. We continued to make out even longer, and I said, "I guess we can go on a date now?" and she said yes. (she was not drunk) She asked me to text her when I got home. Well I never did, so she texted me an hour later to make sure I was home and not driving drunk.

Next day she was much more engaging and asking questions but I still had to initiate the convo. I asked when we could hang out again and her was response was "whenever you want!". I left it at that for 3 days and then initiated contact again to set up a date today. I asked if she wanted to hang out Saturday and she said, "Potentially" that her friend was in town and she was going out, but that she would let me know where they go. We text for a few more hours then she says she's going to sleep so I said bye and that she had to text me first the next time we talk.

Now the question is, is she shy? is she playing hard to get? is she not interested? In person she's very into me and she always responds to text in a timely manner and is engaging but has never initiated.

Edited May 9, 2013 by loki1007

[loki1007]

Yes I don't want to throw the towel in just yet.. She's tough to read because she doesn't let anything out easily and she is very much like me, sarcastic.. In fact, very sarcastic which I think is a selling point, but is hard to understand how she feels..

[salparadise]

Sounds like to me she knows exactly how to play her cards. Maybe she's not looking for a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean she can't find one. Her words and actions are saying, "I'm interested, but I'm not going to chase you." She's meeting you half way, or almost halfway. What else do you expect? Treat her with respect, and act like a guy who's interested (meaning you pursue her). Basically she's giving you the green light and you're not sure what to do about it––quit analyzing and agonizing over how much she's initiating. She's the prize, not you.

[FlyerFan54]

Basically she's giving you the green light and you're not sure what to do about it––quit analyzing and agonizing over how much she's initiating. She's the prize, not you.

 

Now that sentence I do not agree with.

 

YOU are the prize Loki. Men do not always have to be the chaser. As much of a horrible game as it is to play, do NOT be afraid to walk away in a moment's notice. Sometimes you've gotta suck it up and leave her stunned. Make her realize that she needs to work on her end. If you keep her on her toes, the results will be better.

 

The initation of conversation is a key to me. If you are quiet for long enough, some women go a little stir crazy and will reach out to you.

 

I just had a situation with a girl where things seemed to be getting serious, then fell apart because she wasn't ready for anything other than friendship. I was always available for her, and although we split initiation about 50/50...towards the end it was all me.

 

We are friends, but I now realize how I need to basically start all over if we want it to go further than that in the future.

 

Since my roommate was dating her roommate, it's a more complicated matter. They broke things off but began talking again, and word is that we're all gonna be hanging out soon. Last weekend my roommate and I had plans, but both of them invited us to their place.

 

We declined.

 

This weekend, they invited us to see a movie. However, I won't be available, due to prior obligations.

 

We declined again, but they keep coming to us because we're not dropping everything to meet up with them. It's a give-and-take kind of thing.

 

I am sure this girl is interested, but back off just a bit. Let her think about and contact YOU for once. Make her feel like that you aren't going to contact her this week about hanging out.

 

If she doesn't reach out...move on.

[salparadise]

Now that sentence I do not agree with. YOU are the prize Loki. Men do not always have to be the chaser. As much of a horrible game as it is to play, do NOT be afraid to walk away in a moment's notice. Sometimes you've gotta suck it up and leave her stunned. Make her realize that she needs to work on her end. If you keep her on her toes, the results will be better.

 

I don't mean literally––I do think that women should do their share of initiating. It's in the very early stages. He should not worry about whether it's precisely 50/50. She's sending him plenty of signals. He didn't say anything that would make it seem as if she's taking him for granted. All he has to do is roll with it.

[loki1007]

I am such an impatient SOB.. I either have had 1 or 2 reactions in my life.. Either they don't respond at all and it's obvious they're not interested, or they chase as much or more than I do. This one is tricky.. Guess I'll find out this weekend if she contacts me or not..

[BluEyeL]

I really didn't understand your problem. To me, it's clear she is interested. Ask her out already and keep initiating. She is responsive.