She wants my kid

[ViresSanctity]

We went on our weekly date yesterday where she pretends to go to work and skips off with me in secret.

 

I was exasperate with her from the get-go. She made up a multitude of complex plans to get away with me so she wouldn't be caught. Whereas I would just do one step if I was the WS. Not sure if this is just a woman's way of thinking or she's just had years of private ops experience.

 

I didn't care, I just went with the locomotion that day until we got to the hotel. I told her while we were cuddling in bed I had something to tell. I told her that I had sex with someone last week that wasn't her. She went silent for a bit then broke down in tears. She asked me for information on who this girl was and I told her it didn't matter. I just told her that as long as she's still married, this is the reality of things.

 

She made me promise to never utter the words of breaking up again, but I seriously expected her to break that promise and do it another round. She pushed me off and rolled over to her side of the bed, bawling.

 

Ok so after laying there and waiting for her to give me an answer, she rolls over to my arms and I get horny. I also felt really sad and hurt to see her like that. I didn't want to break the news but I had to. But I was also horny. I did my thing until she gave in and next thing you know we're having another affair moment.

 

Ok so close to climax she tells me, "I want you to come inside me." We've already been having unprotected sex for 5-6 months now and I've been tested negative on all counts. I just pull out on her whenever I'm about to orgasm and so far it's prevented any babies. I figured she's just been on the pill since we've stopped using condoms. But she tells me she hasn't been on them the entire time knowing me. I figured she's nuts.

 

She tells me she's been wanting children and was waiting for us to get move out together before that happens. We both have no kids. Yeah we've been talking about it for awhile though just not expecting it while she's still with her H. Now she wants to move it ahead. By carrying my baby she says she wants to prove to me that I'm the only person she loves and that she's been faithful to me this whole time.

 

Anyway I shot inside her. I've been wanting to impregnate her for a long time and I think I've just fallen in love with her all over again after that inside orgasm. I would really love to raise that kid and I'm happy just thinking about it.

 

If she's true to what she says, she'll get kicked out of the house unless she makes a run for it once the baby is noticeable by her house. She doesn't just live with her husband, but his side of the family too.

Edited May 9, 2013 by ViresSanctity

[ViresSanctity]

Definitely not happy with the way things would go down if it happens disastrously.

 

I would like for her to have a proper divorce still.

[Lillyfree]

that girl's reasoning is back to front.

 

and if she wants to prove to you that you're the only one she loves, why doesn't she get a divorce?

 

seriously man, i'd wrap it up twice next time.

 

or as the saying goes: 'don't stick your d*ck in crazy'....

[ViresSanctity]

that girl's reasoning is back to front.

 

and if she wants to prove to you that you're the only one she loves, why doesn't she get a divorce?

 

seriously man, i'd wrap it up twice next time.

 

or as the saying goes: 'don't stick your d*ck in crazy'....

 

I know it's a trap now. I'm just rewriting the situation how it happened and how easily I got lulled back in.

[Lillyfree]

I know it's a trap now. I'm just rewriting the situation how it happened and how easily I got lulled back in.

 

you say you know it's a trap, but you also said in the OP that you want to impregnate her and raise the kid.

 

how fair is it for that child's life to start in this way? tell her to get divorced, then you two can start planning a family. yknow, once she's not already in one.

 

smh

[ViresSanctity]

you say you know it's a trap, but you also said in the OP that you want to impregnate her and raise the kid.

 

how fair is it for that child's life to start in this way? tell her to get divorced, then you two can start planning a family. yknow, once she's not already in one.

 

smh

 

Knowing what you do, have you always been able to help how you feel?

[Lillyfree]

Knowing what you do, have you always been able to help how you feel?

 

no, of course that sometimes you can't help how you feel.

 

but thankfully, i was able to slap sense into myself if the way i felt was going to result in me doing something very stupid.

 

starting parenthood in this way IS a very stupid thing to do.

 

another possible scenario: this chick has been all over the place. what if she does fall pregnant, then decides to raise your kid with her husband?

you no longer have a 'getting over her' period to worry about - you're in for a lifetime of hurt.

 

so feel whatever you want but wear a condom, k?

[whichwayisup]

Definitely not happy with the way things would go down if it happens disastrously.

 

I would like for her to have a proper divorce still.

 

Yet you keep putting your feet in the fire!

 

IT IS GOING to happen disastrously! She's gonna be pregnant possibly. The fact that she lives with her husband and his side of the family, HER in laws, just makes this so much worse. Like she's making a bloody fool of them all, right under their noses. Trust me, when her husband finds out and they find out, ALL HELL will break loose. Her whole life will blow up, and her parents will get dragged into it too. What a mess it's going to be.

 

Why doesn't she just divorce NOW. Leave and file. She's living a lie! Or she's just plain selfish and playing both you and her husband.

[HonestNeurotic]

this is probably not the best way to start off a family. Sincerely think about that kinda lifetime tie with someone that you may not end up with and possibly having your child raised by someone else. Best for parents to have their life a little more figured out before having children - - - especially if they are just "traps". If you must play - play safe! Who knows who her husband is sleeping with........you really just never know anymore.

[threelaurels]

Have you thought about what will happen if she does get pregnant with your child but doesn't leave him? Under the law in many places, that child is automatically assumed to be his because they are married. You may have to go to court to prove your paternity if you want to be in the child's life, which could take years and would certainly be expensive.

 

I honestly can't see how having a child right now would benefit either of you, and these conditions aren't exactly ideal ones for bringing a child into this world. I suggest you use protection.

[ViresSanctity]

Have you thought about what will happen if she does get pregnant with your child but doesn't leave him? Under the law in many places, that child is automatically assumed to be his because they are married. You may have to go to court to prove your paternity if you want to be in the child's life, which could take years and would certainly be expensive.

 

I honestly can't see how having a child right now would benefit either of you, and these conditions aren't exactly ideal ones for bringing a child into this world. I suggest you use protection.

 

Yes I realize all these things now. If I had blood flowing to my brain then I would realize it then too. I was mesmerized then and lost control of myself. Combine young male hormones that are in overdrive most of the day and a feeling of surrendering your heart to someone and imagine how that control was lost.

 

I'm awake now, but those feelings still linger. Yes I'm aware of all these things and it sucks.

[MissBee]

Wow...this is beyond words .

 

I am not trying to be rude by the way, but it really alarming to me the thought process or lack thereof that this situation shows. I have no idea how people cannot believe in fog and foggy thinking when situations like this are presented and expressed by the MP especially as some kind of rational state of reality.

 

Frankly, she went from the extreme of crying and bawling to horny, hysterical bonding sex and saying she wants you to orgasm in her and have your baby. She has NEVER brought this up until after you've told her that you slept with another and this is how it will be once she's married. This is suspicious to me . It seems like she panicked becayuse you no longer seemed like her sure-thing, and so in a mad panic, she decides to spout craziness about having babies and so on. I DOUBT if you get her pregnant this will work out as blissfully as you two have thought (not thought really). I hope for everyone's sake: yours, hers, her husband's the possible child, that this time she will not conceive, so that you can both get your minds right.

 

Do you want the mother of your child to be someone who would do this? Her way of getting out of a marriage is to have a baby with another man so her spouse kicks her out?? Wow.

 

Do you think you guys can truly seamlessly go from affair to couple with a baby, instant family, just like that and it will all be healthy and splendid? It seems insane. Plain insane.

 

I suggest that you QUICKLY put the brakes on both of your madness. I am saying this with sincerity as I would to a friend who brought this story to me. I would be incredulous and ask if they were nuts! This situation seems built on mind games, manipulations, anxieties, distrust and you both acting impulsively. One night stands with others to crying and hysterical bonding and attempts to conceive a baby...all in succession. This is NOT normal healthy relationship behavior. It seems the situation is driving both of you to act very irrationally. I really hope she isn't pregnant and I really wish for you the strength to break things off and allow her to divorce her husband if she is so serious about having your baby, then you can both date normally and then after you've been together a while in a normal, non-A, non-frantic context and see if things are healthy, then you try for a baby.

Edited May 9, 2013 by MissBee

[waterwoman]

Poor baby

[veryhappy]

This is simply crazy. Can you look around and check if you see any fog?

 

This is no way to concieve a child. If she wants you so much, she can divorce and without children that's as uncomplicated as it can be.

 

Just when I thought this forum couldn't surprise me.

[Lillyfree]

Wow...this is beyond words .

 

I am not trying to be rude by the way, but it really alarming to me the thought process or lack thereof that this situation shows. I have no idea how people cannot believe in fog and foggy thinking when situations like this are presented and expressed by the MP especially as some kind of rational state of reality.

 

if there ever was a point in favour of A fog existing, this would be it.

 

 

Do you want the mother of your child to be someone who would do this? Her way of getting out of a marriage is to have a baby with another man so her spouse kicks her out?? Wow.

 

another very good point - and further to that she's buying your attention and affection with baby talk

 

do either of you have any idea what it entails to have a baby and raise a child even while in a 'normal' relationship? can't believe anyone can be that clueless.

 

and OP... she's impulsive, irresponsible, and the level of betrayal she's committing towards her H by even DISCUSSING pregnancy with you is disgusting. and you want to have a child with someone like that?!

 

so clear your head, stop blaming hormones and afterglow for actually agreeing to her crazy talk, and tell her to sh*t or get off the pot.

[thefooloftheyear]

The first thing you should have said when she said this(wanting to have your kid), is..

 

"Are you effin crazy?"

 

Dont do it, bro...This is nuts..

 

TFY

[spice4life]

Gosh, I hope she didn't get pregnant for your sake. There has been a lot of talk here lately how MM's were telling their OW's they wanted them to have their babies and this doesn't really sound any different. You should prepare yourself because she may be pregnant now.

[beenburned]

How old are you and her?

 

Why are they living with the family?

[Goodbye]

Gosh, I hope she didn't get pregnant for your sake. There has been a lot of talk here lately how MM's were telling their OW's they wanted them to have their babies and this doesn't really sound any different. You should prepare yourself because she may be pregnant now.

 

 

Yeah, seriously....what IS this about? My exMM used to beg me to NOT use contraception. What would he be doing now had I followed that insanity and gotten knocked up? I don't get this logic...that NEEDING to leave a marriage is easier than deciding to leave? Is it really THAT difficult to ask for a divorce in this day and age?

[thefooloftheyear]

a few thoughts...

 

this woman sounds like she is more than just a little bit off, and so incredibly selfish that it quite disgusting...

 

firstly, someone doesn't have a hcld becase of how they feel, they decide to have one because they love the person they are with and feel that the time is right to give a good life to a child that is as calm and happy as possible.

If she gets pregnant, that just isn't going to happen.

 

first off, any baby born into this situation, as long as she is with her husband, will think he is their dad. If she's married, she can't very well tell them anything different. Would you be okay with that? With another man raising your child and thinking the baby is his? Maybe you think that would be okay, but could you really miss out on your own child' first smile, steps, words, first day of school, first date, graduation and all the other milestones? It's not that easy.

 

She she gets pregnant with your child and says she's going to divorce, but ends up staying with him anyway, saying it's too stressful to go through that while she's pregnant, with a new born, etc. Meanwhile, the baby is growing up, her husband is dad...would you really be willing to rip that child's family apart, cause them such a huge amount of hurt and suffering just to save your sense of pride? You would hurt your own child like that?

 

 

No offense, but you need to get your head on straight about this and see her for what she is...a selfish, manipulative, dishonest person who is showing you her true colors but you are too blind to see them. She's showing you that she is willing to lie, manipulate and treat people like cr@p to get what she wants, hell, she's even willing to bring a chld into this mess just to get what she wants..what kind of a person would use an innocent child like that?

 

The alternative to this is that she's already pregnant, but that would mean she's still having sex with her husband...but lying seems to come so easy to her, and again, she'd be willing to put her own cild through hell just to get her own way...

 

you need to wake up and see her for what she really is...

 

Well said and good point...

 

As a parent (and anyone else who is a parent can tell you this), even under the most ideal conditions bringing a child into this world is just a mountain of responsibility. Its a beautiful thing, but should only considered when the time is "right" and conditions are as ideal as humanly possible. Your life is no longer your own and you will now be repsonsible for another human being who will be countinig on you for everything. Its never to be used as a tool for manipulation...

 

She is nuts and you are just as crazy to even entertain this...Good Lord..

 

Tell her to go away..Its immensely difficult giving up something you love, but the reality is this is all wrong on so many levels. Maybe you can revisit at a later date when circumstances change, but I see a whole boat load of red flags here...

 

I wish you well

 

TFY

[Sarabi]

Have I been asleep or something?

 

I thought you quit with this woman......or am I wrong?

[Sarabi]

Gosh, I hope she didn't get pregnant for your sake. There has been a lot of talk here lately how MM's were telling their OW's they wanted them to have their babies and this doesn't really sound any different. You should prepare yourself because she may be pregnant now.

 

Yes. I was one of them.

I was told that it was because he wanted me to know the joy of having my own child in my arms...and he wanted to give it to me

Why?

So we would have a bond forever...

 

of course deep down in my mind that REALLY meant that he was saying:

"I want you to get pregnant because even though I love you, I don't quite want you enough...I definitely don't want anyone else to want you either. If we have a child we are bound to each other forever. No other man(or not many other men) will want you if he can see you are pregnant or have a child.

I will always know where you are and what you are doing...even though I intend to stay married to my perfect/beautiful/amazing wife and carry on my wonderful life. That baby will be mine and I will have some rights over the child. If I don't like the man you are dating or what you are doing with your life, I can say so because its MY baby too..."

 

So VS...can you imagine? In a way you will be stuck with her and she knows it.

I heard it from the horses mouth, trust me!

Its the reverse for you...how many single women like me are going to want to deal with your child AND your MW? do you want that for yourself? Imagine you meet someone in future who is really nice and then your MW starts making your life hell by saying she doesn't like that woman you are dating and doesn't want her around your child or she'll take your child away from you if you continue to see her etc. etc. etc.

Its all just a subtle way of controlling your life.

Why do you want to be a single dad or having a child that someone else is bringing up? Its the same thing I asked my MM-why do the children in his marriage deserve to have a stable home with both parents but I should be struggling alone by myself? Doesn't stay a baby you know. That is a human being who life you are going to shape...

and this is "love" yeah..? Its damaging. Trust me.

 

but...I don't know. Maybe you want to be a father right now.

[Sarabi]

Ok. I really am talking too much today but honestly...this is a complexity of complexities. Why do you want to involve yourself in this madness?

If you decide to have a child you will be entering into Dante's version of HELL:

a multilevel vortex filled with the trapped, the damned and the lost...circling forever for eternity.

The levels are you, your MW, her husband, their marriage, the law...and the child. You will be the trapped one...going around and around in circles for life with this woman.

Do you not see how many men on here complain about how if they divorce or split with their partners they are jeopardising their relationships with their children? so...if these are MARRIED people who have rights then what about YOU as a single man...when this baby is born into their marriage?

What rights will you have?

Please be careful

[secretlady76]

I had to read the post three times as I couldn't actually believe what I was reading.

 

I have no words. Normally I am supportive but quite honestly, I am not sure who is more deluded, you or her.

 

You seriously need to get with the programme.

[SoleMate]

Have you thought about what will happen if she does get pregnant with your child but doesn't leave him? Under the law in many places, that child is automatically assumed to be his because they are married. You may have to go to court to prove your paternity if you want to be in the child's life, which could take years and would certainly be expensive.

It's more extreme than that...if the H and W close ranks and deny your paternity, you likely won't even have standing to demand a paternity test. (Depends on jurisdiction and exact facts of course.) No matter how much money you want to spend! That wanted child of yours could be legally, forever a stranger to you.

 

So yeah, this is not the way to start a family. Not with a woman who (head smack) is married to someone else.