barbossa Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 What did you learn from your first long term relationship/first love that you use as a lesson now? How did your first relationship shape the way you look on dating and romance now? 1
Eggplant Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Lesson learned -- don't stay in a relationship to avoid hurting his feelings. 3
Divasu Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 What did you learn from your first long term relationship/first love that you use as a lesson now? How did your first relationship shape the way you look on dating and romance now? My first love was great. Great relationship overall I think due in part that we were each other's best friend. Always very supportive of one another, no games, we just fit. The second one was a train wreck, I don't know what happened there. , so you raise a very good question in terms of how it shaped me from thereon out. I'll have to ponder a bit on that one.
SJC2008 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I wouldn't call it a relationship but my first GF destroyed me. I was 17 and was pretty shy. Long story short we broke up and she told everyone in the store that she felt like she didn't have a boyfriend, that she wasn't really attracted to me and that the one time I kissed her wasn't a real kiss (I had never kissed a girl and a co-worker who didn't know that put me on the spot so I gave her a peck close to her lips but not on them). Also, another girl that worked with us told her she like me and my ex said you can have him. Talk about bad luck, shy guy gets his first gf and gets steamrolled, she was 16 fwiw.
apple OR orange Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I'm not sure anyone i have been with has been in a relationship with me, however how anyone treats me has backed up my current situation. Looking back on it, if i had done what i should have done, i would never of had sex by now. My life at this point would be no different, single with no sex, however would likely have way more money....
USMCHokie Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 It brought me to LS and slowly and gradually made me dead inside. It's when I learned to be able to look at and analyze a relationship situation detached of my own emotions. 2
Pompeii Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My first relationship was awesome. We had long walks on the beach, we rode a two seated bicycle, we had sex fourteen times a day, we watched chick flicks together and cried, we had names for each other, we talked about economics... Sike. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 If mine counts as a "relationship" or whatever, I'd say what I learned was this: whatever can go wrong, will go wrong, and don't trust most women.
Kristine Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My first relationship destroyed who I was as a person, and ultimately ruined my life. Not kidding. He raped me on the first date, which was a way of coercing me into another date, my fear of unprotected sex leading to pregnancy. I was 19 then. He really manipulated me and took money from me, got me married to him because my parents disowned me and I felt I had no where to go, he took away my free college education (paid for by my parents). He impregnated me, with a son who was special needs (ADHD, learning issues, etc.), destroyed my 2nd marriage through that son by telling him things to do and say. Ultimately ruined my sons life by mistreating him emotionally to the point of suicide at age 14. Nothing good came from that experience and I regret the day I ever said I wanted a boyfriend. Now I'm twice divorced, and have no prospects, a high sex drive, and will likely end up alone with a vibrator for the remainder of my life.
ThaWholigan Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 When I have a 1st relationship, I'll let you guys know 1
TheGuard13 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My first relationship taught me that physical attraction and communication/compatibility are incredibly important, and made me a stronger person, because my girlfriend/fiancee/wife ended up being bipolar/borderline with some serious anger/selfishness issues. I learned to deal with it in a healthy way, and there's very little I can't handle in a relationship as a result.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 If you havent had an actual relationship, dont have this attitude. You need some pep talks. You should PM me if you so desire How do I know if it was a relationship or not? I mean what's the criteria for deciding whether or not it's a relationship?
Harradin Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 How quickly people can change. She told me about how anti cheating she was, how much she loved me, thanked me for being there for her when she needed it. 3 days later, she had lied, cheated on me and ran off with my "friend." Sometimes I still don't believe it happened, it sounds like a nightmare. And there's only so much you can do in a relationship, no matter if you don't do anything wrong and always do the right/best thing you still can get screwed over. 1
KungFuJoe Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I learned a LOT...including, but not limited to the following: - I did NOT like nice/innocent girls. - I did NOT like girls with self esteem/confidence issues. - Chemistry was the most important factor in a relationship. - I need a woman who could be friends with my friends. 2
miss_jaclynrae Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I learned too much to be able to write it all out. My first relationship was also my first marriage. It taught me so much about my values. It also was an eye opener to that you can never truly know a person, our marriage fell apart after 4 years together, and the change was sudden and unexpected. You learn a lot from being married and going through a divorce.
SerCay Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My first relationship was awesome. We had long walks on the beach, we rode a two seated bicycle, we had sex fourteen times a day, we watched chick flicks together and cried, we had names for each other, we talked about economics...sike Yes, mine was this, with a little extra : - cheated on emotionally and physically - treated like a mistress - being punished by absence - putting up with shadiness - eventually blamed for everything it was all my fault
juststarry6443 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 I now truly understand why I must tell myself that someone's out there always has it worse than me.
juststarry6443 Posted May 11, 2013 Posted May 11, 2013 We never made it to the relationship phase, but he was my first love. I learned that if my cousin ever wants to compete against me for the same man I should either slap her in the face for even thinking that's okay or just let him go. Don't think you could change any man. &that I should never be left as an option. &that it's okay to fall in love...and love hard over and over again. No matter the risks. Oh & that amazing blow jobs can keep a man wrapped around your finger.
cocorico Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I learned that "just being yourself" wasn't what was required; what was required was that you be like everyone else and play by arcane rules that you are unaware of. I learned that investment required was high and returns negligible, and that my time and energy could be better invested elsewhere. Luckily, time, experience and exposure to other people taught me that all that was wrong.
sweetkiwi Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 He taught me that the love I felt for another person is never misplaced. And even if things don't work out that love can take you to places you never imagined. That love can be the beginning and the end and is so easily turned into hate. That all that is required is truth. To be me. And to accept that people change and fade away.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 For me my first "relationship" was with a teacher. She was about mid 20's and I was 15 to 16 years old. I learned at when it comes to me and women that I needed an emotionally matured woman. The age didn't matter as much as that maturity. It also created a bad habit of picking a certain kind of woman again and again. Even when I try not to, they turn out to be like that teacher in some ways. Given to mood swings, higher highs, and lower lows. Women with a controlling streak. She was married. Then for a time I was sent to another school in another state and found a girl my age....who I eventually noticed the ring on because that girl was married. I learned a hard truth, that relationships are only as sacred as the people in them make them. That relationship was more about sex than love. As have been so many of my relationships.
TigerCub Posted May 13, 2013 Posted May 13, 2013 I learned that I needed to work on Me to be able to give and be a good girlfriend. I learned that my happiness and validation needs to come from me. In my first real relationship (first love) I had so many self esteem issues and insecurities. I expected him to provide for me what I didn't give to myself and ...that did not go well. The end of my first relationship lead me to therapy. I worked on me and I'm glad for all that experience has taught me.
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