Am I out of line?

[conzboneeus]

I had been dating a women for 4 months. We got along so well it was love at first site. We thought a like, laughed all the time, sex was fantastic!

 

She has a 17 year old son who has some issues. Was smoking pot, stopped going to school, etc. I am not sure what his issues are but he finally moved out to his dad's daughter's house and got his GED and a job. I like the kid. He's not a bad kid and god knows I smoked more weed in the day then 10 people.

 

But there was always something a little odd about their relationship. Like it was almost like they were married more than mom/son. I don't mean in a sexual way hard to explain. Like he was always texting her weird stuff all the time constantly, asking silly questions, trying to get her upset or get her attention. And if he said jump she said how high.

 

But I supported her, took the kid to my gym, treated him like a man. I understand a mom's devotion to her kids. But then he got religion and he wanted her to go to church one night so she texted me and canceled our plans without a second thought. She never liked this church and we joked about them and she also told me she is going Mother's day.

 

Now the kid has a job at McDonald's and I could see this coming...she is the taxi. Which is fine except please let me know if you have to go to pick him up.

 

Last night I went over, we were about to make love, and I mean like a second away, and the pager goes off. She jumped out of bed to get it with my lips still on her upper chest area for god's sake! I knew who it was because he is constantly paging her for nonsense. She didn't have to get him was the message, but I asked her why she didn't tell me that she may have to. I assumed that since she didn't tell me and we were naked in bed she didn't have to. I said what if you had to get him? She said she would have stopped and gone.

 

WTF? I admit I lost it and said I had to draw the line somewhere. I mean just a little respect and consideration? Of course she is going through mpause and she flies into a rage in a sec and threw me out for I think the third time this month. The last month has been hell with her hormones.

 

I guess I am looking for a level set. Was I wrong for being upset at her lack of communication? She said she told me she may have to take him or pick him up from work, and she did, in a general manner a few days ago. I had no idea what his schedule was though and figured on a day she may have to she would say "hey we may get interrupted I havce to get Daniel when he gets off" I'm okay with that I understand.

 

I think she just wanted out. She was also saying how "everything she did was wrong" and "I was always telling her about things I didn't like about her" I had no idea what she meant so I asked. I told her this weekend at a concert she was like a kid sometimes, but it was obviously meant as she was enjoying herself and she even kissed me when I said it. Two days later its a put down? When people start using terms like ab "everything I do" and "all the time" something is wrong in their mind. Is this hormonal stuff combined with stress and financial pressures? Or am I missing something badly that I am doing? Man I treated the gal like gold. Cruise, concerts, trips to NY, support when she was down. i just finally had enough "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel" all the time. She is obsessed or something. Or am I wrong?

 

Sorry for the ramble just my mind is so confused I can't make sense of this at all and I am hurt I have to admit.

Edited May 9, 2013 by conzboneeus

[will1988]

Although I've never been in your situation, so my advice might not be the right advice, I think you did the right thing. Of course, her child should come first, that is a given. However, she should at least warn you before hand. Women of all ages do what your ex did. In terms of, saying stuff like you never do anything for me, and then when you list everything you do for them, they say oh your throwing it in their face. It is a catch 22 that we as men will never be able to get out of. Do you think that maybe the texts could be from another man, but she labelled him as her son's name in her phone? That could be a possiblity. Howeve, if it is truly her son, that kid has got some Norman Bates-esque oddities about him. Some kids are just Mamma's boys though. My cousin is like that with his mom (my aunt), but that is because he was spoiled / sheltered growing up and does not have many friends. My family always talks about that weird relationship. If your girl friend is already acting controling, clingy, but flakey with you already, I would say it is time to cut your losses and move on.

 

good luck!

[Chi townD]

I don't think that you're wrong.

 

I do agree that a child is ALWAYS first in a mothers eyes. HOWEVER!! When that child is in his early twenties...time to cut the cord and let them find their own path in life. Time to fly the coop! This is a time where she should be getting her life back. Of course, still be there if the kid falls to pick them back up and dust them off....but then you push them forward again.

[conzboneeus]

Thanks for the replies. Today a friend said I was no longer "in a relationship". I asked him what he meant and he said look at your Facebook page. Now I am a datacomm engineer but not big social media guy and hardly look at Facebook. Maybe once a month...maybe. But she is and I guess she had to make a statement so our pic is gone. Why she didn't de friend me (?) or whatever it is I have no idea.

 

Anyway its all such silly lame ass bs. You have to make a statement on Facebook so all your buds can ask you what happened boo hoo or you can let other guys know you are available? I'm 55 she is 51 I mean grow up. So anyway should I even change my picture on Facebook? I don't even want to give her the satisfaction of knowing I know or care.

 

Yeah she could have been getting texts from other guys. No one ever knows, men or women, if the other is cheating. Although when she didn't have her glasses I'd read the dopey ones from her kid for her. Plus right up until Sunday we were like bunnies 4 or 5 times a week. But hey still could be another guy. She didn't complain about the schtupping though!

 

I am going to Lauderdale to stay with my brother for a week or two. I work from home so as long as I have internet access I'm good. He is 100 yards from the beach. Bringing my board and kayak and bike. Heck I may even do a (ugh!) Match.com profile just to get out.

 

Oh yeah, and I joined a yoga place man the women I saw coming in and out of there. I'm a gym rat and in good shape so should meet some there. Its just I really cared for this one. She touched me in a way very few had. But if you don't let your heart go you can never really love. So you pays your money and you takes your chances.

 

Johnny, tell us who our next contestant is please!