Jacqui Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 I have been in a rather unhealthy relationship for the past few years..I am 42, he is 24, it was always pretty obvious that nothing could really come of this. I met him online at a time when I was going through a lot of emotional distress. He helped me a lot, paid me lots of compliments..always feels good, especially from such a young guy. He is quite a mature 24 year old and seems to have his head on his shoulders. We both live in different countries, so the 'relationship' consisted of phone calls and chatting online. We have met each other 3 times for a total of 8 weeks during the last few years. Now, I am not stupid nor naive and I thought I would be able to cope with him seeing other women because of his age and because of us not being able to be together, and for a while I could. He would always tell me about it too..and ask me for advice on things. We were mentally really close, at least I thought so. In the last couple of months it started to hurt a lot when he would talk about wanting to find a girlfriend as he was lonely. He would call me every day and we would talk for ages; he really was my best friend. But, because this started hurting me I decided to call it off. I wrote him an email saying that it is hurting and that I cant do this anymore and need to get some distance before I can be friends with him again. I know I did the right thing as we both obviously had different ideas of what this relationship consisted of and I know I need to move on as I, too, want to find someone who can love me and whom I can love, but this guy was so much in my head that it was stopping me. So, I told him that by email and asked him for no contact for a couple of months so I can get him out of my head and he hsnt reacted at all. This hurts, I guess I was hoping for at least a: 'i understand, or ok, get back to me when you're more able to cope' kind of thing, but there has been nothing. It is hurting so bad and I am really having to stop myself from calling him. I hope you dont think this is crazy, a woman my age acting like a love sick teenager. I guess I just wanted to vent, thanks for listening.
iceprincess Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 I'm young but mature and I think that what you did was right. Please stay strong! I know it took a lot to do what you did, but it doesn't have to end like this. He can still be your best friend, and you can still be his. You don't have to hurt yourself by not talking with him. You two can still talk and keep it at non-sexual/relationship-wise conversations. If you feel that you have more feelings for him than you should, then maybe it is wiser to let him go. Good luck!
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