gypsy25 Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Hi, I was hoping someone might be able to shed some light on a situation that I'm currently in. I'm 21, and I've been seeing this 25 year old guy named Mike for about 3 months now. I care about him alot, and I'm pretty sure he has some feelings for me as well. He works in the entertainment industry, he is a crew member on film and tv productions, so he has very long hours, sometime 14 hour days, usually 5 times a week. His work schedule can be very crazy sometimes, like sometimes he will work for a month with the above schedule I mentioned, and then he might be off for 2 or 3 weeks without work. When he is working I'll see him every weekend, sleep over at his place and prettty much spend the entire weekend with him, when he isn't working I spend most of the week at his place, and keep in mind that he is always the one to initiate me coming over and us getting together, because I know he has very little time to himself with his work and I don't want to pressure him into seeing me on his days off, but he always wants to see me. Right now he's in a position where he isn't happy careerwise, he is trying desperately to work his way up the ranks and become a higher paying position on crew, but sometimes these types of job transitions can take years and years, but he is willing to give it a go, it's always been his dream. I have made it abundantly clear to him that I don't want to get married for a very long time, atleast until I'm 30, and he agrees. In fact, we both have agreed that what we should stay non-commital because we both have very busy lives and we don't feel that it would be fair to have a serious commited relationship with someone when neither of us could give our time and emotion to one another and we aren't in a place in our lives where we are ready to settle down with one person, careers are pretty much #1 priority for both of us right now (I work in film and tv as well and have a very similar situation workwise as him). So anyways, about 2 weeks ago, I got pretty drunk at his apartment and my cell phone rang. It happened to be my mom (I live at home) but on the cell phone it just said "home". So I was totally drunk and Mike said "who's that?" and I said "I dunno, I have many homes" I said it jokingly but he got really upset and moody and said he needed to think about some things for a second. So me being the total emotional drunk that I am said "what's wrong?" and I started crying and he said "I'm just starting to wonder what you're doing with other people when I'm not around" he was basically hinting that I was seeing other guys. So i got very emotional and upset and said "I would never do that to you, I'm a very loyal person and I always tell the truth and if I were to start seeing a new guy tommorow I would let you know" so He said he felt bad for saying what he said and we kissed and made up and made love and went to bed. So this was about 2 weeks ago and things have been great, but this past weekend, we were both pretty drunk and I asked him if he was seeing other girls and he said he wasn'y but he wanted me to know that he likes not having a commitment to me and that he still doesn't want anything serious and I said I agreed but then he told me that if I were seeing other guys he wouldn't want me to tell him about it cause he would get crazy jealous and not know what to do. So it's like ok you don't want a commitment but you would be insanely jealous if I were with another guy? It didn't really make sense to me but whatever. So today, I was over at his place and I was looking in his wallet while he was in the shower to see if he had any condoms left =) haha so as I was looking I saw this little peice of paper, so I shouldn't have looked at it but I did and it was a list of things that he needed to do to get his life organized and set straight. So the first thing was to stop being complacent, the second was to do 2 things jobwise each day (like send resumes and make phone calls) and the third was to make 2 new friends and the fourth was what really kind of took my breath away. Now I may not have read it right but here's how I deciphered it. It said #4) Stop commiting + negative people-Katie. If you haven't figured it out, my name's Katie. It really upset me, I didn't know what it meant because I thought he enjoyed having me in his life. Can anyone shed some light on this and let me know what he is thinking, maybe from a guys perspective because I'm really hurt right now and it's not like I can bring it up cause it'll look like I was snooping around his stuff. Thanks so much.......
Pookette Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Well, you were snooping in his stuff, so...if you decide to confront him on it, chances are he will be pretty angry. But I would confront him on it. Or if you don't even want to bother, break up with him. Either way, I believe the relationship will end. You should take the initiative and find someone better who can spend more time with you and is ready to settle down a tad bit more than this guy.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 don't look through peoples stuff
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