krazikat Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Okay, clearly I missed something that happened in the wee morning hours on ls...and an entire thread was deleted. Then I saw a comment about what seemed like significant bs bashing...by some ow.... What the heck, ladies (and men who may have been involved)? What happened? I am guessing it is the one I posted on and I am curious what blew up? And clearly I missed the show, missed the money shot...but I am confused about how things escalated as when I last checked, things hadnt blown up. As a BS, I know the pain of the ultimate betrayal affairs lead to. Devastating. World changing. From reading the op boards, I learned these woman (and men) are also in pain. And that has helped me see the ow in my situation as a person, despite the horrible things she has said to me after dday, helped me let anger at her for that behavior go... Why do we need to cause each other MORE pain? Women need to have each others back more often, not compete or scheme or attack...wth happened? 1
Author krazikat Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Yes KK do you finally get it. It does not matter how much you hate OW' date=' we are both trying to understand each other to just get by the next day.[/quote'] What? I ever posted of hating ow? My posts on that thread were about how sad it is that we do things to cause ourselves pain. Not ow hating. Also I pointed out that there are ow who actively try to help others walk away to avoid more pain, or provide support to bs...and that they are not "all alike" etc. I dont finally get get it, I have gotten this all along. I have many posts commenting on the pain we ALL experience. Did something in my rambling post set something off?
underwater2010 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I always miss the good stuff. Working nights is sucking the fun out of posting on the boards. But along those lines....it was getting better between everyone. 2
Author krazikat Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I always miss the good stuff. Working nights is sucking the fun out of posting on the boards. But along those lines....it was getting better between everyone. Ya, I signed off for the night for bed and the discussion seemed ok, some ow commenting that not all ow are "out there" with demand making as far as how to treat bs, etc. Sure, sensitive topic I understand...but arent we all grown? I guess I just dont understand how, well, make that why, so why did the board blow up to the point of being completely erdicated? There are many things that op and bs will disagree on...but sheesh, I spent like 15 minutes typing my post(s) on my dang phone, only to have them deleted...I almost thought I was dreaming about posting on ls when i saw it was not there!
Journee Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 I always miss the good stuff. Working nights is sucking the fun out of posting on the boards. But along those lines....it was getting better between everyone. I thought it was getting better too. I have been reaching out to BS ,WS and AP's for months. Reading how intrusive and unwelcomed a BS is in other forums woke me up. I'm out. 4
BrokenPrincess Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 OW here not looking for trouble ...(kidding). But I agree, it DOES seem like relations have been a lot better lately. I know in my most recent thread, I was really touched by some of the support and gentle advice from BS. I think I saw the thread this morning...moderator had locked it with a post that it went off topic, something about checking all the new members that had posted. They probably just took it down to clean it up and will re-post once it's been edited 2
Author krazikat Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I thought it was getting better too. I have been reaching out to BS ,WS and AP's for months. Reading how intrusive and unwelcomed a BS is in other forums woke me up. I'm out. I saw some of the threads you are talking about, and ya, a few ow were making such comments but there were also others not going there.... WE can still keep it cool. Ya, we (I) may say things that some dont like but never attacking another... 1
Author krazikat Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 I saw some of the threads you are talking about, and ya, a few ow were making such comments but there were also others not going there.... WE can still keep it cool. Ya, we (I) may say things that some dont like but never attacking another... And by we I do mean all of us who, while we may be sharing our opinions, we arent doing so in attack mode at anybody else, just chatting...bs AND op together...
Decorative Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 OW here not looking for trouble ...(kidding). But I agree, it DOES seem like relations have been a lot better lately. I know in my most recent thread, I was really touched by some of the support and gentle advice from BS. I think I saw the thread this morning...moderator had locked it with a post that it went off topic, something about checking all the new members that had posted. They probably just took it down to clean it up and will re-post once it's been edited I agree. I bet it will come back up. And I think the majority of peeps on here really want the best for everyone- no matter what the letters associated with their names might be. There are a few bad apples- but I tend to figure they are actually pretty unhappy with themselves, if they need to lash out or taunt or sidetrack. I think the community in general is helpful. 2
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Wasn't it the thread where the op said he missed his ow? I think that was the one I saw that was locked this morning. I know I posted on it and I can't find my post either. There were either one or two people that just joined (trolls maybe?) that were causing some issues. I didn't feel it was too off but some were basically asking to bring it back on topic because it was a male who was posting and he was being genuine about his feelings and just needed some help. Some apparently took time to really bash him.
ComingInHot Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 krazikat wrote, " WE can still keep it cool. Ya, we (I) may say things that some dont like but never attacking another..." You're better than I. I RIP brkn hrt to be quite often and I Do attack him. What he says infuriates me to no end. I Know I shouldn't. Then I Know I should. Actually I SHOULD just Not look... I'm going to try to be nice going forward and just say nothing. I'm serious. I'll try. 1
Author krazikat Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 krazikat wrote, " WE can still keep it cool. Ya, we (I) may say things that some dont like but never attacking another..." You're better than I. I RIP brkn hrt to be quite often and I Do attack him. What he says infuriates me to no end. I Know I shouldn't. Then I Know I should. Actually I SHOULD just Not look... I'm going to try to be nice going forward and just say nothing. I'm serious. I'll try. I am trying to recall any post that I have thought you were attacking, and I honestly cant think of one...you are always providing support, saying things to make people stop and think, even putting yourself out there to be the bs to the ow to vent.... I see you as calling it how you see it, perhaps blunt but NOT attacking...and I see nothing wrong with that. Sometimes op need someone to tell it like it is to help them wake up...just like bs or ws may need as well. And from what I have seen, this comes from all sides...there are many fow and even current ones who sound the alarms telling other others to run! I guess to some when it comes from a bs they feel defensive, like nothing bs says has any value or truth because they are from an opposing team. But reality is, bs knows the other side of the equation. What mp may be telling the wife. But some dont want to hear it, while others are more open. I say keep doing you, CIH, because you rock!
lilmisscantbewrong Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Never mind - I found the thread I thought it was - it was locked but not deleted. It's in the om/ow section. I have no idea what this one was and whether I posted or not - oh well...
seren Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Things tick along nicely for ages with all sides of the A trying to understand, not taking it all personally and responding to the hurt, pain or questions in a post without projecting, being snarky or argumentative. I think that these posts are the most helpful, then a drive by mentality takes over and sides taken and it feels like people pop up out of the woodwork just to take potshots, then slink away after disrupting things. Shame really, I also think some people come here expecting to be bashed, to bash or just to see things from their own point of view. Were I new to Infidelity I would run for the hills when all this happens. In the early days I could no more have gone onto a site or forum where A'were being applauded, it was just all too painful and yes, those threads still have me wondering how this can be when someone, someplace is either in the dark about their life or hurt. I try to keep off those threads as they serve no purpose to me. I have always thought LS wasn't about the ra ra'ing of A's and while I can see that for people currently in an A and enjoying being in one, a site that is set up for this would be useful and a place to either rant or gush (awful word), there are loads of those. LS has always felt like a place for learning, trying to understand, make sense, stop stereotypes about AP's and BS alike and where we all might understand the other's POV. Sadly there are some who will never get it or understand and they are usually the one's who have been here, left and then pop up to poke the site with sticks (funny how most come en masse), not all, but there has been a pattern. Just hope it doesn't scare those who are hurt or looking for help, support and reassurance. 1
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