lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Listen to my story and tell me what you think" I met a guy at work and we dated for a while. However, we broke up because of communication problems. He left the area to go to grad school and I did a no contact with him for a month. I contacted him after the month by email. He responded casually. So, I sent another email and he really opened up to me and told me that he had thought of me and that I probably felt his vibe. I responded that I must have felt it because he had been on my mind. I have not heard from since him our email exchange last week. So, I sent him an e-card stating the following: Hello! I hope my emails have put a smile on your face. I haven't stop smiling since I got your replies to my emails. I am deeply appreciative of you being so candid and open with me. I had prayed for a honest and new beginning. I am often reminded of you when I hear the music of Anthony Hamilton on the radio. Maybe, Earth, Wind, & Fire has the same effect on you. He replied: Thank you. Is that a way of saying you miss me? What Do you REally think?? Is he interested???
Pookette Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Sounds like you two might have a chance! Maybe keep emailing him and if you get more positive responses, call him up and chat.
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 I think I screwed it up b/c I wrote back: "Is it that obvious that I miss you? " and I also stated that I might visit him when I am in Florida. He responded: Just a bit. As for the comment about visiting him. He wrote back: "Yeah, maybe we bump into eachother someday." I was scared that I messed up by appearing too pushy and so I wrote him another email stating the following: "I also think I made the assumption that I could just see you when I visited in Christmas without realizing that it was premature to mention it and it should be about you making that choice and not me. I am thankful just for the open communication between the two of us." .
wasitheone Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Hey Lilablue, What where the communication problems you guys we having?
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 I found him to be uncommunicative with me. Getting upset with me when I asked him simple questions. Being rude and argumentitive with me. Below is an email to him discussing our last break-up: "About last night...I want to express to you my concerns about it. I was tired last night, however, I became discontented when you started getting sarcastic and testy with me when I questioned you about dinner,etc. This quickly reminded me of my last visit to your place when you became upset with me and gave me 10 minute time-outs, spoke rudely to me, and pushed me away from you when I try to get close to you. I personally feel that you do not have much respect for me and treat me like a stranger although we have known each other since February and have spent quality time together. I like you, but you make it difficult since you are quick to anger by the simplest things I say to you. Your behavior towards me is inconsistent. On Monday, I thought you had fun with me. However, last night, the tone in your voice indicated to me that you were already upset with me about nothing. I realize that in my tired state last night and with you acting petulant, that joining you last night would result in a less than desirable evening. It should not have to be so difficult for us. "
wasitheone Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 Was he getting stressed out by something else in his life? Did he really want to move out of the area? Did he used to talk about something a lot at the beginning of your relationship and then all of a sudden stop mentioning it? I say this because I was under a lot of stress due to work and I used to talk about it with my ex all the time. Then I thought I was boring her with my problems and I just kept my problems to myself. Worst mistake I could have made because they just built up inside of me!
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 Actually, he was leaving to go to law school. But, he had been cold and distant towards me. Sometimes just rude. I gave him space when he left to go to school. He seemed humbled by the fact that he was living at home and going to school. I think I was too hasty and expressing how glad I was that he opened up to me. I even sent him an e-card. But, now I think I rushed things by mentioning that I might visit him at christmas in Miami. He responded to my email at 7:00 am yesterday and told me that maybe someday we would bump into each other. OUCH. I think he was trying to tell me that it was too soon. I felt bad because I was not realizing that it his choice to make to see me again and that it was too premature to talk about see each other. I have to remember that I broke it off with him. I really concerned right now because I have not heard from since I told him that I should not have made the assumption about seeing him without realizing that IT WAS HIS CHOICE TO MAKE and not mine. Again, he is in Florida and does live in the area that is being evacuated. So maybe thats why he has not written. I just hope he was pulling my chain to hear me say I miss him........ HELP
SoleMate Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 He doesn't sound particularly interested in you, sorry to say. You're having to chase him WAY too hard. I would recommend letting him make the next move(s). He probably won't, so there you go.
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 THen why has answered all of my emails to him up to yesterday. I think he had to be evacuated so that why he has not replied to my emails from yesterday. He told me he had thought of me and that I must have felt his vibe.
SoleMate Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 He's an adult and he knows how to contact you if he wants to. It's possible he is stuck on a rooftop with storm waters surging around his head...but I consider it unlikely. You say he answers all your emails. Fine. Does he ever SEND you any, or is he purely reactive only? You see my point? Look, he puts you on "10 minute TIMEOUTS". Because he says YOU'RE rude! This is about the sixth post I've answered today where a woman is clining to some pathetic scraps of attention and pretending it amounts to a "relationship".
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 Well, what should I do? Not send him any more emails? Remember I broke it off with him. I thought I should let him know that I was interested so that he knew I was being genuine. I know his pride was hurt. I think in the end, I will not send him anymore emails. I think he will be wondering even more when I dont send him one saying....Hey, how come you didnt respond or to inquire about his safety after hurricane Jeanne passes. I know that will get his goat not being sure if I really missed him. What do you think relationship Guru? I really appreciate your feedback, because it has gotten me thinking hard.
wasitheone Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 It could be a pride thing. Because you finished with him it probably hurt him but he may not be letting on how much pain he is or was in. Just give him a little time to think and maybe heal.
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 You are very kind and wise. I thank you for your words of encouragement.
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 Soleman: Guess what, he just respnded to me with: Then, please me. Well, it's nice to have family that is willing to help in this way. I also want to live near the ocean and have a boat to go fishing. I study alone. Yeah, we've done IRAC and CREAC. Have you been fantasizing about me in my absence?
Author lilablue Posted September 25, 2004 Author Posted September 25, 2004 Soleman: He just wrote: Yeah, we're kinda getting used to all these storms and hurricanes. Thank you. That's nature. You may be able to see me. Who knows what may happen. Maybe you'd like me to be your daddy and give you a big, hard, juicy Christmas gift. We'll see if you've been naughty or nice. You might deserve a spanking. Does still seem interested??????
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