BustedUpInside Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Today is an ok day. Really, I have been doing much better lately, with fewer and fewer setbacks and bad days. Monday of this week was really hard for me when I realized that in a few weeks, the last vestiges of our shared life (some accounts that were on contract) will be closed and we really will be completely separate and will have no reason to ever be in contact again, but after thinking about it for a long time I realized that this might actually be a good thing. So, I am sitting here wondering about what I really miss when I think back on our relationship. I have come to the conclusion that my ex isn't what I miss. I miss the couple events we used to do together with other couples. I miss the implied date to social functions. I miss that I always had someone to talk to and a back up if I had problems. I miss the physical affection. If I am being totally honest, what I really miss the most is the ego boost that being in a relationship gives me. It's like saying that no matter how others may see me, at least one person thinks I am worth being with so it gave me confidence and courage to be myself. Now that the comfort is gone, it is a little bit scarier to put myself out there to be judged. I still do it, but, internally, I don't have the same confident feeling. In conclusion, I don't think I want him back and I am pretty sure that I am not ready for someone new. I guess I will have to be content just being with me for awhile 1
soccerrprp Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Good for you! Take some time off and reassess. It's funny how when you look back and begin to see or reaffirm why it didn't work out that the break-up becomes a little more palatable. Yes, don't forget that the illusion of being a healthy, functional couple was not the reality, no the whole of it. Remember that he or she simply didn't meet your needs. Wasn't as solid as you needed. But, moving is a fine thing. Giving yourself time is a fine thing. Good for you! 1
Farside Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I think it is wonderful to hear that your days are getting better. They do get better. I am 7 months out of a 15 year relationship and you are right, you miss things that you guys might have done together. Experiences that you had, but you don't really miss him. There is a reason you guys are no longer together. And remember everything happens for a reason. And stay positive. It's all about attitude! 1
LoveB86 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Bustedupinside, I had been following your threads. We both had been hurt pretty bad with being dumped for someone else. I just want to say that I am proud of you as you are getting thru this in the best way you could. Please stay strong! Infact, I will try to stay "LS strong" for you as you had been doing for me when I read your posts. Your way of thinking helps me too. Take care of you! Remember, you are someone that can make someone happy!! 1
OzHeartache Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I miss the couple events we used to do together with other couples. I miss the implied date to social functions. I miss that I always had someone to talk to and a back up if I had problems. I miss the physical affection. Think I'm struggling with this part too, I do miss her and hope she sorts her stuff out but as of today and looking forward I'm definitely going to miss these things I don't want it to be over but I know that if her heart is gone, Then they don't exist no matter how much I want or wish for them............... I know I need to stay positive and know that there will be someone else come along to share these feelings again with but damn........I cannot see for the life of me trying that that's going to happen
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