SalientPoint Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 This is the longest we'd ever gone without talking. I feel so weak. In the past it felt so much easier to go NC than with her, but that's probably because my last two serious ex's cheated on me and left me for other people. Though she dumped me, she did that s**** passive agressive thing the last time we talked saying that she was not going to come see me (we've been in an LDR for the last 2 months) and despite everything she didn't feel up to the commitment of me moving there, but she didn't want to stay broken up or not talk...so basically after a year together she wants to be pen pals, and has absolutely no desire for us to have a plan to see each other again. That sounds like a great option... She said in our last convo that if I wanted to go there she'd be happy, but that she still couldn't commit, and as the pain drags on sometimes I think " well screw it, maybe I should just fly out to the country she's from and see her, since she won't see me." but I know that wouldn't solve anything and the fact that she hasn't tried to contact me either and has been dragging this on for a month is telling. That would just be idiotic, and a waste of money. Still it pops into my mind along with other triggers. I know they say take it day by day, this isn't my first rodeo, but I truly feel like I'm trapped in purgatory.
shiver23 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Don't sweat it. You're overthinking everything. Make a note to remove everything that's going to directly remind you of her. I deleted my FB for three weeks just so I wouldn't try to re-add my ex as a friend. Everything was sooo painful. That's normal. I wish I could find that handy link listing everything people go through at break-up time.... help me out LS?
Author SalientPoint Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Don't sweat it. You're overthinking everything. Make a note to remove everything that's going to directly remind you of her. I deleted my FB for three weeks just so I wouldn't try to re-add my ex as a friend. Everything was sooo painful. That's normal. I wish I could find that handy link listing everything people go through at break-up time.... help me out LS? Thanks for the feedback! Yeah it's hard because completely random/unavoidable things remind me of her. Like today I had to go to Home Depot and the dude that helped me with the name tag had the same name as her, so yeah... crap like that. Also because she tried so hard to make it look like I was the one that had the final say when nothing was further from the truth makes it a bit harder to maintain NC. Also I feel like if I had a halfway decent breadcrumb I'd probably be on the next flight. Not good.
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Thanks for the feedback! Yeah it's hard because completely random/unavoidable things remind me of her. Like today I had to go to Home Depot and the dude that helped me with the name tag had the same name as her, so yeah... crap like that. Ahhhh, triggers. Gotta love 'em. Yeah, I never knew there were so many of the same year, make, model and color as her car around this town. Scary thing is I did see it (and her) yesterday... Lot's more triggers too. They are everywhere. Hang in there SP!!! And you better not buy any plane tickets. You know that won't end well
Author SalientPoint Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Ahhhh, triggers. Gotta love 'em. Yeah, I never knew there were so many of the same year, make, model and color as her car around this town. Scary thing is I did see it (and her) yesterday... Lot's more triggers too. They are everywhere. Hang in there SP!!! And you better not buy any plane tickets. You know that won't end well Oh Mtn, you are always so wise . No, considering she hasn't contacted me during the NC period either, no flights will be purchased. Plus I don't have the PTO hah. This town is slowly driving me insane :-/
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