mbee Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Hi there, So I contacted my ex because he keeps contacting me about this popular business we co-founded and run together and his messages all include our pet names, "I love you"s, and all this other corny nonsense. I told him this business relationship will not work, especially since I'm in love with him. This phone call turns into an hour of catching up and him telling me all the things he's been dying to tell me all week. Then the last 30 minutes we talked about how I couldn't be in this business partnership because of what he did and the disrespect he showed. He lied and emotionally cheated on me with a married woman. He conveniently broke up with me at the exact day she was visiting the city where we live so he could make it physical. He acts all sweet on the phone and says he doesn't understand how he disrespects me. I explain it pretty clear cut and calmly and he says he is sorry that he hurt me but can't apologize for the specifics. What does this even mean? We will stop talking, I promise. I had started NC a few days ago but with this business we run together it's been tough to not respond to certain inquiries and he uses it as an excuse to tell me how he feels about me, which makes me feel led on and confused! I can't quit this business and he wont quit, but I can't work with someone who wont even apologize or recognize that they did something disrespectful. I'm worried he's using the business as a way to keep me around. He was so thrilled to hear I wouldn't even be moving. Egh anyone know how to handle this? And please someone just tell me he disrespected me. He acts like his actions MAY not be okay but he will not apologize for it.
flitzanu Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 so when he apologizes, that's going to make the world stop spinning and everything will be ok?
Zahara Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 What an ego boost this man is getting. You tell him you can't continue the business relationship because you are still in love with him. His head just got a little bigger. And you wonder why he plays you like a puppet. So what if he won't apologize for specific actions? Even if he did, won't change a thing. If he did, would you go back? Would you entertain him? Would you keep business relationship going? What you need to do is quit contact, if you can't be professional with him, end the business relationship, heal from this and move on. Quit puttering around waiting for a sincere apology.
Author mbee Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Thanks for the comments. Actually I did end up getting a sincere apology randomly, and the reason I wanted one is just because he seemed to act like what he did wasn't wrong but still thinks I can respect him on a professional level. The apology doesn't change anything. It was a long, heartfelt apology and he even brought up needing to work out his own issues and being friends and maybe getting back together in the future. It really helps to know that he knows what he did is wrong, especially since it's frustrating to have someone else make me feel like these things are okay. Anyway, no my head isn't spinning and I'm not considering getting back together. If anything it makes me realize how much I don't want to be in a relationship with him. I clearly still love him and want what we had, but I don't want to be with someone who has a very difficult time accepting that they caused me pain and taking responsibility for it. I'm glad it happened and it makes me feel like we had that closure finally, and in terms of the business, he's going to drop off the radar for the next 4 weeks and let me handle it. We'll figure out the rest later.
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