mar-ed Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Well I’m going through a really rough time, my boyfriend of about 2years now broke up with me but after I begged and pleaded we were back together within 24hours.I called this my second chance because we did break up & are now back together but its just not a normal situation. I really cant afford to let him go he really is the love of my life. Here is a little more information. Its a horrible situation because his dad has cancer and unsure how long he has to live which was his reason of breaking up to concentrate on his dad which I understand completely and I agree that’s what he should be doing at this time, but I love him so much I just could not think of life without him. He said he didn’t want to hurt me by not giving me attention. But was really upset and undecided on the break up. Believe me I am far from a high maintenance girlfriend I don’t need any special attention and never ask for anything. I know you might think I am selfish and I have been in a constant struggle with myself over this, I feel guilty making someone be with me if they don’t want to? and for not letting him go and concentrate on his dad. The pain of guilt for not letting him go to concentrate on his dad and the fear of losing my boyfriend is tearing me apart. I have been giving him lots of space I do not text or call him (he wasn’t ever big on communication anyways) unless it is my day off I to go see him. I wait every 10days to 2weeks before I see him and only stay one night. It seems to be working well as he seemed excited to see me last time as he was bursting to tell me about what he has been up to. Do you think I should get over my selfishness and let him concentrate on his dad? Has anyone been in a similar situation? If anyone who has/had a parent with cancer what was going through your head, your feelings? (I have never had an experience with illness and a loved one)Do you think he doesn’t want to be with me at all? Sorry for the mix match of questions & I would like to say Thank you to everyone for reading this and to any replies in advance.
swiftly333 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 He broke up with you his dad has cancer? That doesn't make sense. My guess is.there was other stuff going on and no that his dad is sick he no longer had the energy to deal with it.... if anything I'd think he'd find comfort if you being there for him during these hard times..... I would and look deeper. I could be totally off, off but I was in a situation like that before my mom passed and my boyfriend at the time was supportive and helped me through it and had no complaints about being bumped down the list because he understood that it wasn't at all a threat. Also, if the relationship needs work to be repaired I doubt he's have the energy or the want to do that right now. My guess is the begging overwhelmed him and is the last thing he needs right now. He probably does enjoy the comfort he gets when he sees you, an he absolutely should b focusing on his family, and if you had a good healthy relationship you should be fine with that. Obviously you're not number one concern and you have to be okay with that or move on for your own self and maybe work on your "selfishness". You say this have been going well, so I don't get where the guilt part is coming from?
OwlSoul Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 My guess is.there was other stuff going on and no that his dad is sick he no longer had the energy to deal with it....Your bet is probably quite accurate. I think it is more to deal with him giving all his attention to his dad and not giving enough to the OP. As a result, OP starts pressuring the guy who feels irritated and loves her less and less. It seems to be working well as he seemed excited to see me last time as he was bursting to tell me about what he has been up to. Then you should do what you were doing. Do you think he doesn’t want to be with me at all? Don't be silly. He wouldn't be with you if he was sure he does not want to be with you. Probably he is unsure right now, bc you started demanding the attention and emotional energy he is not able to give anymore. But meh, I kind of begged my current ex to think again about the breaking up. So-o, it ended up him being for the relationship. Yet, he broke up with me 3 weeks later. Better to give all the space to the person at first place, imho, and focus on your own issues. You will waste less time and prevent generating some negative memories. My ex and I currently are dating (hard to call him my boyfriend yet, since too early) and slowly working over building the new relationship. I just look back and regret that I did not agree to break up at the first time.
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