moonshine3 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Hi all. I'll make the background fast, so I won't bore you. I've known this guy for like 3years, he's sort of like a classmate. We're both 19. Recently, just this year, I start to know more about him because we have mutual friends and always hanging out together, and I had a huge crush on him but didn't tell him. Somewhere around March he told me I was one of his best friends, which aren't many, so I was genuinely touched. But all my friends told me to go tell him that I'm crushing on him, and I didn't want to let the chance pass, so I did. I knew immediately from the beginning that we're very different and might not work, but I still wanted to try because I do really like him, and he also confessed to having some feelings for me. It's a little over 2 weeks before problems start cropping up, he feels I'm oversensitive, thinks too much, insecure and he can't handle me because he's always doing and saying the wrong things. I tried very hard to calm him and let him know we can try to overcome problems, but due to his past bad experiences with a few relationships, he thinks he will hurt me sooner or later and gives up very easily. This I'm-no-good-want-to-give-up has happened three times now, two of them one day after another, and I'm drained of energy and emotions. Every time it happens I panic and had to deal with it, then he says he's not ready and prefer being single, afterward when I patched up he suddenly says I really love you so much...I'm gonna make this work, trust me. Then some tiny problem that I didn't even realize was a problem came up and he goes "it's not gonna work..I can't continue anymore". He even started telling me I'm clingy and stuff, saying he's upset about stuff that I never thought he would be upset about. The third time I got so tired, I let him decide anything and he said it's better if we're just friends like before, then both of us are happier. I didn't argue or try to make him see differently anymore. I knew from the start it would take a lot to make this work, but I didn't know he would give up this easily, before this he has said the best and nicest stuff to me, even saying he'd decided this would be long-term. I know he's confused and can't handle relationship stress, and obviously being single is easier..and although I'll still try if he comes back, right now I'm just so tired. I want my best friend back as a bestie very badly, he was awesome as a best friend. I try not to regret ever confessing to him, but I don't want to lose a best friend just because being together doesn't work. What should I do? I know I should give us time to cool down and put any romantic feelings to rest, but I'm scared he'll just leave and can't even be my best friend anymore. The relationship only lasted two weeks, but it was pretty intense and passionate emotionally, but no sex. Just kissing. What should I do? I can't sleep, and I can't eat, he promised that we could still talk stuff that best friends talk about, but I'm so scared it wouldn't be the same. Please, please help.
aisuru Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Hold up... (trying to be gentle here) TWO weeks? TWO weeks? What were you behaviors that made him back away that quickly in two weeks? What were his behaviors that made him back away that quick in two weeks? Honestly? Let it go. Your feelings shouldn't be that strong in two weeks and should be easy to let go back to friendship. I feel like I don't have the full story here... It might be best that you salvage the friendship and figure out how a TWO WEEK relationship got to this point. Look within yourself. Something isn't right. I'm sorry you're hurting.
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