soifnaegvbaoeaiegoaobgaiou Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I previously posted my story in a different thread, so you can most likely find it using my username. Anyway, it's only been about a week since the "BU", or at the very least the admission that thing were already done and weren't going to magically fix themselves. I've been NC since 3PM last week Monday. Very proud of myself so far, haven't said a word, unlike the first time where I dissolved into a groveling worm at her feet. She hasn't contacted me at all, at least until Monday morning. I woke up, and saw that my text inbox was full. I was confused, because I hadn't gotten any new texts from anyone, so I deleted a few and rebooted the phone, and lo and behold 12 texts come tumbling in, ranging from 7AM to 7:30AM. (My first question was why she was up that early, she NEVER wakes up that early.) Here are the texts, with timestamps added: 6:59: How do I stop thinking of you? 7:09: I'm sorry for giving up on you. 7:14: I'm sorry for not being the best for you. I'm sorry for running away instead of trying to solve our problems. I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you. Those were not my intentions. 7:19: There's been so much I've been wanting to say but just haven't.... You know me. I'm sorry for all your ignored texts. I'm sorry for putting you through pain again. I never wanted this to happen, Could I have stopped it, yes, just a simple glimpse of hope could've helped. But I was selfish and only thought of myself. I hate being the ex who made you how you are. I wish I could've bettered you , but I didn't. I only drag others down. You know this, I know this. I will be everything you said I will. 7:22: I just want to be happy again. I need to be whole. I need us to be how we were, not how we are now. 7:27: Please don't think I'm just a pity party because I'm just saying these things now...I hate the way that I am. This is how I am. I wanna change. I need to change. 7:29: There's been so much happening lately without you lately. I hate not having you to talk to. I haven't responded or contacted her in any way. She's also not sent anything else since then. What's the deal here? I do want her back, but only if she can prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that she's actually changed.
Skipper888 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 maybe dont reply just yet.. its only been a week. How much do u think she has changed her mind in 7 days. Probably just going through a small stage of regret and feels guilty
denxnis Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I tried to make things work, you chose the easy way out. Please leave me alone. Or Stay no contact. My vote is no contact.
Author soifnaegvbaoeaiegoaobgaiou Posted May 9, 2013 Author Posted May 9, 2013 Part of me is genuinely terrified she'll think she has no chance for redemption and won't try. I want her back if she can change, but I'm worried those texts were a last resort and now that nothing's come out of them she'll give up. I just want her to fix the problems that made us fight. I have them too, and I'm working through them. Still nothing from her, and still NC by me.
CelticGibson Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Of all the texts she sent, none of them were requesting to actually want to work on anything. She is sound off. Trying to flush her feelings because, while it's hurting her, she still doesn't want it back. This text stood out for me... "How do I stop thinking of you?" She wants to stop this pain, not fix anything. Go No Contact. Let her sort herself out in her own time. If she wants to try again then let her initiate in the future but in the meantime start living your life and moving on.
Chi townD Posted May 9, 2013 Posted May 9, 2013 Guilt....nothing more than feeling really guilty right now and she's looking for you to ease that guilt. But, here's the rub. She wanted you gone. So, stay gone. This was her choice and it isn't like last time where you begged and pleaded. In the past, you let her know that you still wanted her. Now, you're giving her NOTHING! And it's driving her insane because she doesn't know where your head is at. Doesn't know if you stopped caring, doesn't know if you're angry or sad. Doesn't know if you hate her. She knows nothing....and it's making her crazy. Don't respond to anything. Start working on making positive changes in your life. If she was REALLY serious about getting in touch with you...well, she knows where you live.
maiden555 Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 Wow. Those are exactly the things I wish my ex would say. You're smart to hold off, I think I would too. Was the breakup mutual at all or she was the clear dumper? Because if there was a whiff of mutuality, and you do want to get back, I wouldn't not respond. Like you said, you think she needs to change so if that is indeed true then you are doing the right thing by holding off. Still though, this must have been satisfying!
siankat Posted May 10, 2013 Posted May 10, 2013 All i know is it takes an indefinite amount of change and sometimes..never happens. For me i needed this last breakup and relationship as it was my turning point after years of handling myself the wrong way in relationships. I did what i knew i should, not what i wanted while hoping for the best every time. From her side it seems she is not coping with life very well at the moment or is not happy, you were a safe place that she no longer has and thinks she does. That is NOT a good place for you to be in her mind. I have no idea the history and dynamics. But to be honest someone should want you when they are at their happiest! and to have you by their side in the best of times, not just the worst. Like i say...i don't have a clue about you and her, so i'm just throwing some ideas out there and maybe it will make sense in your case, maybe not.
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