Mochalatte Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I had a man tell me today that he began dating again immediately after a divorce which was due to his affair. He now wishes he would've gone slower. He felt at the time that he knew what he wanted...but not necessarily what he needed. He has been in a long term relationship for nearly three years and cheats on her. Says he still has trouble with wants versus needs in his relationship so he strays sometimes. I told him that I thought that he was stuck. That he was a coward for not leaving. Because love involves both being met! For both parties. No hesitation or questioning! He just looked at me speechless. Maybe I don't understand men. Why would someone stay where both isn't being met? What is the difference in a man's wants and needs?
carhill Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 It's double-talk. Also, a disclaimer. If he had truly moved through those experiences and learned some life lessons, he wouldn't be talking about them, rather acting in the here and now based upon what he learned. If he needs more help, therapy is available. I would agree with you. Attempting to understand that kind of man is useless. Leave it to someone else. Good luck.
Author Mochalatte Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Thank you. My thoughts exactly. He is a serial cheater basically. That keeps his relationship on the down low but strings her right along. I know that he "loves her" as in close friendship...He tells her he wants to travel with her in the future, and he loves her kids. Although I have never heard him say "I love you" to her... he has said "love you."But he has this weird side...like another dirty let my hair down personality when he is around me. Like, I know the evil side of him and his thoughts. But his everyday persona is Christian-hero good guy to everyone else. Perplexing. Not to mislead, but we are NOT an item. I am beginning to date, and we are just two friends chatting it up. The whole "double talk" just had me thinking of men, cheaters, and the dating world of what I have to look forward to. Ick. May post this in cheaters forum..
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