I don't want to hope anymore but I still keep doing it!

[TheDarksideAngel]

I know that the one I have loved for 3 years doesen't love me back. He used to make fun of me and tell me that he loves me publicy. I fell in love and then he said he was just joking. I felt miserable and I fell in hard depression. He started to ignore me and tell his friends bad things about me. Then I moved away to another town but I still wrote and called him sometimes cause I couldn't get over him. He always replied me with angry and tense yelling. He said that its hard for him to talk with me, it irritates him and makes him angry. I can't still understand why. I asked him twice in a year that doesen't he really love me and I always got negative answers. He even said he has got a girlfriend now and that he's happy with her. I didn't bother him much but I felt I can't live without him I was so worried about how is he doing out there. It has been 2 years to live in a new town for now. 4 months ago I told him my life has no meaning without him and that i dont want to live anymore. He showed that message to his friends and I got seriously harassig messages from them. The final farewell took place about 2 months ago and I STILL HAVEN'T GOT OVER HIM! I STILL HOPE THAT HE LOVES ME AND HE JUST DOESEN'T WANT TO ADMIT IT!... I DON'T WANT TO HOPE ANYMORE... What can I do?... IS THERE ANY PURPOSE ON HOPING ANYWAY? The chance he loves me is 1% out of 100% ! Can it be still possible he loves and cares?? :'(

[shiver23]

It's over sweetheart. You should have stuck with NC. It would've really sped up your healing process. You've got a classic case of "my life without him is horrible." Focus on YOU, and learn to live with yourself as an individual. Lamenting over the past isn't going to make you attractive at all, to anyone, let alone your ex. He's moved on. It's time you did too.

 

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. *hugs*.

 

Listen to "These Times" by Safetysuit.

 

Just my two bits.

[NJtoDC]

Please reach out to a therapist and get help with the issues you posted about here. You are way over the top, your emotions are ruling you, and you could use help.

[TheDarksideAngel]

Wow, this was so sweet! Thank you so so much I feel alot better now

*hugs*

I will try and give my best on focusing on myself

One more time, thank you very much! I really apreciate it

[TheDarksideAngel]

Thank you very much! ^_^ I'll try to get help

[cinta_satu]

What I keep reading and hearing from people is that the more needy and desperate you sound, the less likely your ex is going to think about you.

 

From what I've read on here and other places, it seems like your best shot at being happy in the future with or without your ex is to focus on yourself, better yourself, and come out this as a much stronger person.

 

I'm going through a break up myself. I girl I loved for 3 years unconditionally more than anything in the world left me last Dec and started dating someone in March. Initially I thought if I kept telling her how much I loved her, reminding her of the good times, making romantic gestures I would win her back. But it did the opposite.

 

I'm not telling you to forget about your ex completely and not think about him, because that's not possible. But you can focus on yourself and maybe one day he will take notice of what he left.

 

Take care and good luck.

[ConfusedT]

Yes there is light at the end of the tunnel. I firmly believe writing your thoughts down, journaling and possibly counseling may work for you, but you definitely need some type of intervention within yourself. two years is too long to be sad over someone so maybe you have a bout of depression and he is simply your object of obsession. trust me when i say if you stop fixating and start releasing it will get easier, but you have to want to move on too and it doesnt seem like youre ready yet. just keep focusing on yourself and making yourself happy and don't EVER let someone have that much affect on you again after this.

[TheDarksideAngel]

Thank you very much! Same to you