EnTT Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 First time on this forum, thank you to anyone willing to read/help . I broke up with my girlfriend of 9 yrs last September. We've broken up several times before in the past, so sadly this wasn't something new. Either way, it didn't take long for me at all (month at most) to try re-initiating our relationship. Long story short, she's basically rejected our getting back together this whole time. I know a huge portion of it has to do with the fact that she had started seeing someone else 2-3 weeks after we broke up. The thing is, since we broke up, we still communicated on a fairly frequent basis, AND several times it turned out to be more than just talking. In January, I got a new job in NY and moved from the west coast. I literally have no one over here that I know, so I'm pretty much all alone. Needless to say, we've been talking this entire time up until a couple weeks ago. Throughout all this time, there's been tons of talk about her moving in with me once she's done with school (in a couple weeks). Naturally that made me feel very excited, and it took away alot of the emotions I had about being all on my own. At the same time, though, she's been going back and forth ALOT about being with me. She will literally be full aboard one day, and say she's confused and doesn't know the very next day. She's done this to me more than a handful of times, where she'll tell me to leave her alone and move on, and then blow up my phone saying the opposite. She also loves to point out that I was the one that did this, and it's all my fault (justified?). She kept on bringing up marriage (whole other story by itself) too and said that was the only way she'd be with me again for security, but I just CAN'T seem to comprehend that someone would bring up such an idea when they ARE seeing someone else. I know this for a fact. I know she's been lying to me when she says that she hardly even sees him and doesn't give him any attention. For some reason, she even found it necessary to tell me one time that the guy told her that he loves her. Now, I'm not dumb, or maybe I am, but I find it unbelievably hard to fall for someone you hardly see or talk to. A couple weeks ago, she decided to see a priest about her issue, and apparently he told her to be by herself and not communicate with anyone for a few weeks. Initially I was upset because it seemed like she was going back again, but I decided to give her the time she asked for. Before we stopped talking, she even told me that if there was anything I wanted to tell her, don't be afraid to say it. Ok..couple weeks go by, and while out with my family that came to visit, I sent her a text saying that I love her and never forget that. She replied right away and told me to STOP texting her and leave her alone, as if I was spamming with texts. She also said that she can't do this anymore, and she never knew she could be so calm without me. She said our relationship was toxic, that I know I don't want this again, and I never really cared. Just yesterday, my sister decided to tell me about some pictures she saw a few months back of her and this guy. One of them was on valentine's day, the exact same day she mailed me a cute heart cutout that said "I love you." I can't even begin to explain the deception I feel from this, ESPECIALLY because we've been talking and communicating all this time, AND it seemed like everything was getting better! I really thought I knew her, and this just took me completely by surprise. I never thought she was this kind of person, more so because she used to say I was (I've made mistakes in our past). She even bought a freaking plane ticket to come out here... what else was I supposed to think? Am I at fault here for everything that's happened? I tried my best to win her back and show her the potential of our relationship, but I can't help but feel that she's just been playing with me this whole time. How does being confused equate to being with someone else all the while taking me for a ride?? I feel so lost and I don't know what to do..naturally my family tells me to go out and meet people, but I can't get over this heartbreak. Sorry for the long story.. this is actually the shortest I could make it. Thank you again to anyone reading and for your input.
BC1980 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 As I am sure you know, this person is confused. For your own sanity, you will have to completely stop communicating with her at some point. It's been 9 years with her, so that will be very difficult.
Tmo2 Posted May 15, 2013 Posted May 15, 2013 First of all, I cannot tell you what to do. From my experience, only time will relieve your anxiety. I suppose you kinda fcked up by breaking up in the first place, then again, you say that this isn't the first time? In my opinion, you need to get your sanity back. Your personal well being should be your priority. Focus on doing things that make you enjoy life. Be single for a while, re-evaluate your priorities. Further down the road you will know what to do. Good luck
Author EnTT Posted May 16, 2013 Author Posted May 16, 2013 Thank you guys for reading my story. Without a doubt I know she is beyond confused, and you're right - I just have to focus on getting my sanity back. So far so good.. I'm really upset over the loss of our relationship, but I've tried and tried and tried. I can't keep beating a dead horse. 1
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