Is this salvageable???

[Winherback]

Hey all. I'm in a pickle, and this site has been a great way to help get a different perspective for me in the past.

 

Met this beautiful girl with a daughter back in November. Everything started off very exciting and with promise for the future and was on the up and up hot and heavy. But we had a snag on our first trip together back in Feb... it was my birthday and she was acting a bit upset or aloof for whatever reason (might have been because my fam was there and it was alot to deal with now that I think back on it)... and and we didnt have sex on my birthday night on our first trip together. I was in the wrong I know, but I got upset that we didnt and it made things very awkward and it started a bit of a tiff and missconnect. It kind of started a bit of a spiral that lasted a month or so, drifted apart a bit, still communicated and finally I asked what is going on with us. She wasnt sure what she wanted and that it might be good to go apart.

 

I handled it very well, from a confident place, and actually agreed that it may be best, she then asked if we could still be friends....I said I can handle being friends if you can. Then immediately she started coming at me more, and we went on a date that weekend and agreed that it sucks things spiraled a bit and that we wanted to give this a real shot. So off we go again.

 

So because she lives with her parents and her daughter 30 mins away and has the kid every other weekend its not the easiest to schedule time together and I dont really want to sleep over at her parents house so we find time when we can.

 

So after this starts up again, it is going great again and I am calling more as opposed to texting, and being proactive, surprise card before her big race type of things, and everything is going great I thought.

 

But last couple of weeks I could sense she was being a bit more distant. Not returning calls in the fashion she used to,etc.

 

Last week, we speak and she mentions her bad day. Why? She said she was down because her ex got engaged, all her friends are finding the right ones, getting married,etc... and not her. I empathized because that can be a bit tough to deal with, but asked how do you know I am not the right guy? She says well I dont.

 

Weekend before last we go on a daytrip with daughter, park, rollercoasters, spend all day and have an amazing wonderful day. She almost immediately asked us to do something next Saturday. I said great... then was looking forward to this past weekend to spend some time. But she again got to be a bit relaxed in her communication. I hit her up mid week about going to a Rockets game Friday night (day before our agreed date), and she brought up some excuse like homework and made plans with a friend already. Ok fine... but to me it seems she is avoiding time we could be together and trying to connect. Anyway, as the date approaches I call her and she is hungover and said she was too drunk to respond to text. Ummm, ok?

 

We ended up having a talk and she admitted backing off and that I am reading things correctly. Saying she doesnt know, that she is nervous that things will end up like before the trip. Brought up last weekend at the park and what a great time it was and she agreed and I mentioned I needed to see more from her. Probably not the right way to deal with this at the time, but I was getting frustrated. So I asked if we were on the same page she said YES. So I said good, then go get some rest and call me later about tonight. (hindsight should have called her and told her the plan). But I was playing it cool I guess and eventually at like 745 or so I finally got a text saying what are you up to?? Umm, well I am at the bar real quick to get a beer with a friend (at this point I am thinking I am being disrespected and her not really trying right after our talk). So she basically asks what I am doing then... and end up at a steak house with a couple buddies.

 

She then starts calling and texting and asking to meet, saying she is in area. I am not jumping all over to respond as I am kind of hurt by her distance lately and lack of call earlier and instead text. So long story short I say I am going here after here, come by if you want. She says she is going to meet a few friends for a bit. Never respond, and reach out at 130 asking where she is, lets meet. Never heard back. Tried calling never heard back.

 

She has yet to speak to me since. Wont return my calls or texts? I said I need to talk to her as I feel like there are some things we should address, call me please. Nothing. So I am getting the big ignore now. Been 2 days.

 

I am starting to think my dumb ass missed a great opportunity to sweep this girl off her feet, connect, and I missed out on those things.

 

I did drop off 3 coffees today at her office with a little note saying a little something just to get you through the rest of the day. Pick your favorite and share the rest with your freinds,etc. No response.

 

Now, I am not needy or feeling desperate, but maybe it is starting to appear that way?? Dont know. Is she just asking for space? Is she breaking up with me? Or is she wanting me to prove to her I care and do in fact want her. We havent said I love you yet. But I know that I do have real feelings for this girl and would like to at least have a discussion on the level and find out what she is feeling.

 

Any thoughts on what she might be wanting right now? Any suggestions on why I am a dumb a hole and what I can do better next time?

 

Thank you all... MUCH LOVE!

[scorpio1978]

The comment she made about her friends finding the right ones and she isn't was rude, insensitive, and unnecessary. She sounds like she doesn't know what she is looking for, but knows that you might not be it. Truthfully, you sound great. It's her that sounds like she is a poor communicator. Poor with her words and poor when she is blatantly ignoring you. This is so confusing to me. Why are you even attempting to contact her again? She is blatantly disrespecting you, jerking you around, and playing childish games. Let her go. She should consider herself lucky that you would even want to date her. What does she bring to the table? She should be delighted that you brought her around your family. That shows you are thinking more seriously and she is not. Let it go...

[Ninjainpajamas]

I'm sorry, but this girl really isn't that into you.

 

You seem like a nice guy who is attentive enough and willing to invest in this girl as you seem to like her very much but her reciprocation seems low and she also seems to me like someone who is going to likely have commitment issue...it seems pretty apparent to me at this point.

 

I think you're trying to over-extend yourself while trying to still give off the illusion you are not readily or easily available, but the thing is she's not that into it anyway so when she calls or needs you around when it's convenient for her and you don't show up, it's just easy for her to ignore you and put you off as someone not worthy, but you know I don't even know how sure you can be she even really cares...she's acting extremely carelessly in this "relationship" and she doesn't seem on the same page emotionally at all.

 

I think you're trying too hard and a little too wrapped up in this girl, you've got to just back away and let her invest more herself, but honestly I think this relationship is going anywhere, I think she's going to either let you go or find someone else. This relationship seems very one-sided and you might just be a rebound or she just might be someone who can't be alone.

 

I just don't see anything good coming from her end to show true interest and strong emotional feelings and you've been dating her since November? If she was into you this would be a completely different story by now.

 

I just don't think it's there man, I think you need to bear the brunt of the truth and just move on, you can't change the way someone feels, you can't make her fall in love with you.

[apple OR orange]

ive not read the thread fully, however what i have noticed is if you have to ask this then your bot going to be getting back with her, move on.

[HoneyBadgerDontCare]

This sounds like a potential FWB situation. I think you should go for that.