Andromeda71 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I have just started dating again after being in a 15-year marriage so I am very rusty at all this. I recently met someone online and we have seen each other almost every weekend for the past 5 weeks. I work full-time. Have my child during the week. He is in the midst of a divorce, and unfortunately he has been unemployed since the Fall. He is shy, but when we are together he seems to really like me (we have been intimate). Here is my question/issue - I rarely hear from him during the week. I send him an occasional "hi, how are you" or a funny text and I get no response. He seemed at first to be very chatty via email and texting but now that we have met in person and seen each other, I hardly get any communication from him until the weekend is almost upon us. I am sure he is very busy job hunting and I know he has a large social network of friends, but I just can't shake the feeling he is losing interest. We have been seeing each other for a little over a month - is that enough time for me to be upfront and ask him what he thinks of our dating situation? I don't want to scare him off but at the same time if he is losing interest I don't want to waste time. I am trying to respect his space and his needs to address things going on in his life, but I would appreciate a little more connection with him during the week. Any feedback (male or female) would be most appreciated.
lamaga Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I think from what you tell here it's not easy to pinpoint why he is so uncommunicative during the week. Guess 1: Some people who recently come out of relationships, quickly are looking to be intimate with other people again, because they just are used to having someone around. If he is seeing you on the weekends, maybe that's the time he used to spend with his wife and just needs to be close to someone. You might have heard of it: Rebounding. Guess 2: He is not really that interested in you and is not man enough to tell you. Guess 3: He genuinely likes you but is afraid of getting close because perhaps he enjoys his newly won freedom or he isn't quite ready to make a new emotional commitment. BEST THING TO DO HERE is simply to speak up and ask him genuinely about his intentions with you, since you seem to be sitting on hot coals. I don't think it's too much to ask, really, 5 weeks of dating is enough time (at least for my standards, and I am German), to subtly start to ask questions about "How serious are we?"
todreaminblue Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 It is hard to date when you come out of a relationship especially a long one it feels alien like to get to know another man,I think you should just take it easy.......its only been a month.......though not answering a text with a hey how ya goin...yeah im fine hope you are too....or one or two words is a bit ignorant not to give it back...even a smiley face and nothing else......even if it were to be a day later....a ten second text isnt much to ask.....if you feel liek you need that connection tell him so.......and if he doesnt want to do it......then he isnt really right for you......its hard with communication these days...it isnt the same anymore ...i wish you well.....deb
Author Andromeda71 Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Should I wait to see if I see him this weekend and talk to him then or send him a text just asking if things are ok since I don't hear from him during the week? I'm trying to not be impatient (bad fault of mine) but I don't want to be strung along either. I kind of want to send a text saying "hey there. Hope you're having a good week. I don't hear from you much during the week and just was wondering if everything is good between us?" How does that sound?
BluEyeL Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I don't know, if he keeps coming around for dates, I wouldn't read much into the lack of communication in between. It could mean anything, we have no way to know. I don't think you should pressure, in case that's his communication style, you won't change it, just annoy him and appear needy. Just watch his actions and if he consistently asks you out. Only if he doesn't ask you out should you start worrying.
outsidethebox Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Respectfully with a different opinion, I just don't understand styles of communication where there's no communication. Or what the purpose of having a relationship is if you don't communicate. I just don't understand it.
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