Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 His next response: Hey I am all about honesty also and had every intention of telling you when we met. In hindsight I should have let you know yesterday when we texted. I am not a liar and honestly I really dont see anything wrong with using an alias initially to maintain some level of anonymity (albeit trivial) until I got to know you better. Maybe you have a different perspective. Anyway, if I offended you I'm sorry. -Mark Thoughts?
lamaga Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 His next response: Hey I am all about honesty also and had every intention of telling you when we met. In hindsight I should have let you know yesterday when we texted. I am not a liar and honestly I really dont see anything wrong with using an alias initially to maintain some level of anonymity (albeit trivial) until I got to know you better. Maybe you have a different perspective. Anyway, if I offended you I'm sorry. -Mark Thoughts? THIS email already sounds more sympathetic than crazy match bitches one. I say you should just go on the date and see what happens. 1
Estate Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Saying "crazy Match bitches" is probably a little inappropriate...but I can't imagine his rationale is THAT bad about his name. I don't / have never done OLD, so I can't speak to the commonality of that. People don't always go by their birth cert name. Pretty common. I only go by the name on my birth certificate in work or on official things. Most people and friends call my by a different name, it's a long story but it's a variation of my FULL name. Typical over-reaction
StanMusial Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You should date him so we have some entertaining yet depressing threads to read. 4
tuxedo cat Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 His next response: Hey I am all about honesty also and had every intention of telling you when we met. In hindsight I should have let you know yesterday when we texted. I am not a liar and honestly I really dont see anything wrong with using an alias initially to maintain some level of anonymity (albeit trivial) until I got to know you better. Maybe you have a different perspective. Anyway, if I offended you I'm sorry. -Mark Thoughts? I don't like that he's inconsistent and apologized for not telling you sooner. I would actually feel better if he defend himself because it would seem like it was more of a matter of principle to him than sneakiness. "I am not a liar." Yellow flag. I don't know how many dishonest people have uttered that phrase to me. 2
anna121 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I like the second response much better. Really disliked "crazy Match bitches" - made him sound like either a jerk or just weirdly familiar with you. But, you know, I've had some cringe-worthy slip-ups on email myself.....so I'd probably go on the date and suss him out in person. 1
sillyanswer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Thoughts? He apologized. Unless telling a lie is actually a deal breaker then I wouldn't let it be the thing that puts you off going on the date. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 He apologized. Unless telling a lie is actually a deal breaker... This just sounds so bizarre to me. Shouldn't it be? 1
lamaga Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 This just sounds so bizarre to me. Shouldn't it be? I think you are overanalyzing now. You should just go on the date and then find out for yourself if he is a good guy or not. Finding out a persons character and reading someone is easier when they sit in front of you. By analyzing his words in the emails you just make the pressure for the first date go up.
sillyanswer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 This just sounds so bizarre to me. Shouldn't it be? Well, I'm guessing it isn't or you wouldn't still be asking our opinions.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 By analyzing his words in the emails you just make the pressure for the first date go up. I'm not "analyzing his words." I'm evaluating a blatant lie. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Well, I'm guessing it isn't or you wouldn't still be asking our opinions. It absolutely is. My question was rhetorical for that poster. Outright lying is a deal breaker for me. Period. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sooo does it constitute as being a "good skier" if you slide all the way down the intermediate slope on your face? (granted I also did a few flips for pizzazz!) I mean seriously who can ski down these steep slopes! granted they should give you sticks on a snowboard and shouldn't have let me up there in the first place! :S...I was falling down on the baby-trail for bob sakes. 2
sillyanswer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 It absolutely is. My question was rhetorical for that poster. Outright lying is a deal breaker for me. Period. Oh fair enough. In that case, obviously, don't date him. Maybe he's the crazy one.
veggirl Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I don't know, I could go either way with this I guess. I'm not sure what his reason was for hiding his real first name, like what would even a "crazy Match bitch" do with a first name? You already had his phone # ffs! On the other hand his 2nd email was much more polite and it sounds like someone who knows him in real life vouched for him so that is a plus. Mostly I think it's funny he's so worried about you being a crazy online girl when....he WAS BEING one of the hugest online stereotypes ever (a liar)!! 5
Drseussgrrl Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I immediately NEXT a dude who uses the words "crazy" or "bitch" to describe women. Both in conjunction - total fail. I'm sorry - but just the word "bitch" to me, makes me think that's a word he'd use to describe ME in the future. And, come on, can't he express himself in a more constructive way? Nope. Plus he lied about his name. Which makes me assume he thinks he's some hotshot. Whatever. 5
lamaga Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 I'm not "analyzing his words." I'm evaluating a blatant lie. Then don't date him. It seems like it's not leaving your head and also as if you wont get over this, no matter how nice the date will be. But as I said, you won't know unless you meet him. Up until then you have this picture of him based on a lie he told (not a bad one, in my opinion), the worse part I think is that he talks degrading about women...
tuxedo cat Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Plus he lied about his name. Which makes me assume he thinks he's some hotshot. Whatever. This is what I was getting at with unfounded privacy being a sign of grandiosity. 2
Drseussgrrl Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Then don't date him. It seems like it's not leaving your head and also as if you wont get over this, no matter how nice the date will be. But as I said, you won't know unless you meet him. Up until then you have this picture of him based on a lie he told (not a bad one, in my opinion), the worse part I think is that he talks degrading about women... Right. He lied about his name, then used the word "crazy" and "bitches" to describe women. There are so many "nopes" around this sitch I wouldn't even return a text. NOT A QUALITY MAN. Let's turn this around for a minute, shall we? 'Sally' is a hot cheerleader, but she tells men she meets online that her name is Candy. When called on her BS, she explains it's because she's encountered way too many "psycho *******s" in her experience. Yeah - bet she's f*cked them, too. Someone you really want to bring home to mom, eh? 2
Author Star Gazer Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 Just (very easily!) found a domestic violence case against him. Next! 10
El Brujo Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 So, I have been chatting with a guy from OLD, and we have a date set up for this week. Let's say he told me his name was Joe. He looked oddly familiar based on his pictures. We have skiing in common, and he's a *very good* skier. We've chatted a ton about skiing, and our inside knowledge about it. Keep in mind that the skiing community in NorCal isn't that big; the bad asses are well known amongst each other, they're kinda like mini-celebrities within the skiing community (not to 'normal' people, just those obsessed with two sticks). I was just talking to another skier friend about this guy and this date, and showed him my phone and the pictures of the guy on the OLD site. He exclaims, "Oh yeah, Mark! Yeah, he's pretty popular at Squaw. Cool guy." He directs me to the guy's skiing blog - and low and behold, there are the same pictures posted on the OLD site. I asked, "Are you sure his name isn't Joe? Does he ever go by Joe?" Nope. He's definitely Mark. So, either Mark lied in telling me his name is Joe, or someone is impersonating Mark and using the name Joe. What to do? Some people hate the name their parents gave them, but they either don't want to offend their parents by getting it legally changed, or they don't know how to go about doing a legal name change, or they can't afford the fee. Maybe that's the situation with Mark/Joe. Other people can't understand for the life of them why someone would hate their own name (as if hating your own name is illegal).
lamaga Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Just (very easily!) found a domestic violence case against him. Next! That's crazy. There you have the reason why he didn't give you his real name.
Drseussgrrl Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Just (very easily!) found a domestic violence case against him. Next! OMG girl. The one guy I dated in my early 20's used to describe women with these words, and eventually turned them on me. I ended up having to get a restraining order against him. NEVER NEVER NEVER date a man who says that women are "crazy bitches." Please? NEVER. I'll bet he has issues with his mom, too. 6
Author Star Gazer Posted May 8, 2013 Author Posted May 8, 2013 So THAT'S why he lied... Yikes! That's crazy. There you have the reason why he didn't give you his real name. What's ironic is that had he given me his real first name, I wouldn't have gone on a fishing expedition and found it. Nor would have giving me his real first name - MARK - been enough to find anything with. 2
2sure Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 A man who tosses the word "bitches" around so casually, even in a prior to first date email...is Nexted. For obvious reasons, no discussion required. 1
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