Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 So, I have been chatting with a guy from OLD, and we have a date set up for this week. Let's say he told me his name was Joe. He looked oddly familiar based on his pictures. We have skiing in common, and he's a *very good* skier. We've chatted a ton about skiing, and our inside knowledge about it. Keep in mind that the skiing community in NorCal isn't that big; the bad asses are well known amongst each other, they're kinda like mini-celebrities within the skiing community (not to 'normal' people, just those obsessed with two sticks). I was just talking to another skier friend about this guy and this date, and showed him my phone and the pictures of the guy on the OLD site. He exclaims, "Oh yeah, Mark! Yeah, he's pretty popular at Squaw. Cool guy." He directs me to the guy's skiing blog - and low and behold, there are the same pictures posted on the OLD site. I asked, "Are you sure his name isn't Joe? Does he ever go by Joe?" Nope. He's definitely Mark. So, either Mark lied in telling me his name is Joe, or someone is impersonating Mark and using the name Joe. What to do?
tbf Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Could one be his middle name? The reason I ask is that H goes by his middle name professionally and his first name with family and friends.
joystickd Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Move on. If he lies about that there is no telling what else he will lie about. I bet he is talking to several women right now and just used the different name hoping it would keep down problems
sillyanswer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 My first thought is that it could be fake/stolen pictures rather than fake name. 2
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Could one be his middle name? The reason I ask is that H goes by his middle name professionally and his first name with family and friends. Nope. His middle initial is not even remotely related to it. He very clearly goes by Mark, not Joe. It's like Brad Pitt calling himself Carlos. 2
2sure Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I'm wary of everyone, but I'd say go on the date if you are otherwise motivated and see how he plays it out. He may come clean and say: The ski community here is so small, I use an alias for OLD for initial privacy. I'd be ok with that. 5
MsSmurf Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 If Joe is his middle name then I say give him a break. I'm a middle name user and know many others and don't find it to be a big deal. If Joe isn't his middle name or any part of his name period and he is indeed "Mark" from the ski blog then give him the boot. I don't care what kind of crappy experiences he's had with dating or how famous he thinks he is in the ski community there is no excuse for using a fake name.
tbf Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I'm wary of everyone, but I'd say go on the date if you are otherwise motivated and see how he plays it out. He may come clean and say: The ski community here is so small, I use an alias for OLD for initial privacy. I'd be ok with that.Might even be the reverse holding true. Yes, be wary but make sure the first date is somewhere public and crowded and if the guy who shows up is him, then ask why he's using a different name.
pteromom Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I would give him a chance to explain himself. There could be a valid reason. 1
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 I wrote him a quick email and asked him why he told me his name was Joe, and he wrote right back: "Well I wasn't going to give you my real name until such a time I determined you weren't one of those crazy Match bitches I hear stories about. So how did you figure out my name isn't Joe? Did you match my bib number to my CIM race photo? If so, I'm super impressed . And a little scared. Haha My actual name is Mark." What say you, LSers...? I wrote back and told him how I knew (I'm not embarrassed to admit that I was talking about him to someone), and that I wish he'd been honest and just left it at that. I'm not sure what to do.
lamaga Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I go by a name for 9 years that's not my birth name. I usually only tell people once I get to know them really well. I think you should just be upfront about it once you are at the date, if he doesn't speak up on his own during the date.
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 I'm wary of everyone, but I'd say go on the date if you are otherwise motivated and see how he plays it out. He may come clean and say: The ski community here is so small, I use an alias for OLD for initial privacy. I'd be ok with that. What does the size of the ski community have anything to do with OLD? And if you're private, why would you post 12 pictures of yourself - which make it very clear that it's you - on a public OLD site? One that uses the same handle as your blog? 2
tbf Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 One that uses the same handle as your blog?This tells me he's not the brightest brick in the pile! 2
tricolors Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Saying "crazy Match bitches" is probably a little inappropriate...but I can't imagine his rationale is THAT bad about his name. I don't / have never done OLD, so I can't speak to the commonality of that. 2
joystickd Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I wrote him a quick email and asked him why he told me his name was Joe, and he wrote right back: "Well I wasn't going to give you my real name until such a time I determined you weren't one of those crazy Match bitches I hear stories about. So how did you figure out my name isn't Joe? Did you match my bib number to my CIM race photo? If so, I'm super impressed . And a little scared. Haha My actual name is Mark." What say you, LSers...? I wrote back and told him how I knew (I'm not embarrassed to admit that I was talking about him to someone), and that I wish he'd been honest and just left it at that. I'm not sure what to do. I would be a little funny about a guy that feels comfortable enough to say crazy match bitches. 3
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 This tells me he's not the brightest brick in the pile! It's like if I used Star Gazer as my Match handle, my LS handle, and my Wordpress handle, and then saying I didn't want anyone knowing my incredibly common first name. I mean, really? Once I was tipped off by my friend, all I had to do was Google his handle and pages and pages of his stuff comes up. And yeah, I don't like the whole "crazy Match bitches" thing either. I was looking forward to meeting him, but oh well. 2
sillyanswer Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Did you remember to tell him that you're not one of those crazy Match bitches, or are you going to leave him guessing? He told a lie. Is that a deal breaker for you? If not, then it sounds fairly harmless. You could ask him when he was going to tell you. I had a girl give me a fake name once - her user name on the dating site was a girls name with some numbers at the end, and she had claimed that was her name. When I met her for the first time I said something like "Hello Jane" and she replied with something like "Hello Sillyanswer, my name is actually Karen". It didn't spoil the date.
Divasu Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 "Well I wasn't going to give you my real name until such a time I determined you weren't one of those crazy Match bitches I hear stories about." If a guy refers to another woman as a 'crazy b*tch', something is off... ALWAYS pay attention to how someone talks about the opposite sex. 2
2sure Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Mark, I'm so pleased my ability to look you up impressed you. It was interesting to hear what others had to say. We laughed and laughed! Thanks for that. Unfortunately, I've decided that we have no chemistry. Good luck! 1
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 What happened to the surgeon, SG? I'm not sure how I feel about him, and we've both had scheduling conflicts the past week or so. I'm indifferent, really. I'm feeling indifferent about dating in general, now that I think about it. But particularly towards him.
tuxedo cat Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I have a bad feeling about him after reading this: "Well I wasn't going to give you my real name until such a time I determined you weren't one of those crazy Match bitches I hear stories about. So how did you figure out my name isn't Joe? Did you match my bib number to my CIM race photo? If so, I'm super impressed . And a little scared. Haha My actual name is Mark." He sounds a bit paranoid and nasty. "Crazy Match bitches"? Really? It's like you're guilty until proven innocent. Additionally, my experience with people that excessively private is that they come with other issues, unless they are in the public limelight in which case privacy is natural. Is he overly focused on his image and what others think about him?
Author Star Gazer Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Did you remember to tell him that you're not one of those crazy Match bitches, or are you going to leave him guessing? He told a lie. Is that a deal breaker for you? If not, then it sounds fairly harmless. You could ask him when he was going to tell you. I had a girl give me a fake name once - her user name on the dating site was a girls name with some numbers at the end, and she had claimed that was her name. When I met her for the first time I said something like "Hello Jane" and she replied with something like "Hello Sillyanswer, my name is actually Karen". It didn't spoil the date. His handle doesn't have a name in it. He initiated contact, we exchanged a couple emails (none of them had a name signed), and after we'd established a rapport, he signed the last email "Joe" - the fake name - and volunteered his phone number. We spent a couple days texting. I referred to him as Joe, and he didn't correct me.
lamaga Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I don't think his email was that bad. There surely are some crazy bitches out there. And he wasn't angry either, and he didn't think you were crazy for having found out the right name. I would go on the date and see how it goes. You never know. And this comes from somebody who's done a lot of online dating... trust me. You can always end it after the first date. No expectations, no pressure. And you wont be left wondering 'what would have happened".
lamaga Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 His handle doesn't have a name in it. He initiated contact, we exchanged a couple emails (none of them had a name signed), and after we'd established a rapport, he signed the last email "Joe" - the fake name - and volunteered his phone number. We spent a couple days texting. I referred to him as Joe, and he didn't correct me. That's a bit weird he didn't correct you. But he already came upfront about as to why he lied. I mean, he might have had issues in the past, but to be honest, all you do now is speculate, and you haven't even met the guy. Don't listen too much to what people say here about him until you have met him. If you have no chemistry in the end, then so what, then it was just a date that didn't work out. Nothing more, nothing less.
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