fastrider Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 I have a question for all the experts out there. I have just reentered the wonderful world of dating and here is my problem I have lost a good deal of weight through diet and lots and lots and lots of exercise. I have changed my lifestyle to accomplish this and to keep it off. But I am still not sure how If I should tell a perspective suitor of this. Of course in any sort of relationship it will eventually come out through old pictures of me some of the extra skin I have around my mid section, which you can only tell if I had my shirt off and I am working extra hard to get rid of. Is this something that I should tell them right from the beginning or should I wait and see where the relationship is going. I still have some self-confidence issues but I am slowly overcoming them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated
bluechocolate Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Don't tell them anything - why do you fee like you should or have to? No one is going to be thinking, "I wonder what she looked like 2 years ago?". And when it does comes up you should be all casual about it, like, "oh yeah, I used to be really heavy but then I lost the weight" and then move on to the next subject.
Merin Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Originally posted by fastrider I have a question for all the experts out there. I have just reentered the wonderful world of dating and here is my problem I have lost a good deal of weight through diet and lots and lots and lots of exercise. I have changed my lifestyle to accomplish this and to keep it off. But I am still not sure how If I should tell a perspective suitor of this. Of course in any sort of relationship it will eventually come out through old pictures of me some of the extra skin I have around my mid section, which you can only tell if I had my shirt off and I am working extra hard to get rid of. Is this something that I should tell them right from the beginning or should I wait and see where the relationship is going. I still have some self-confidence issues but I am slowly overcoming them. Any advice would be greatly appreciated Well I'm not an expert.... LOL... well wait an expert on what? Anyway.... awesome that you've lost wieght and feel better about yourself.... However I guess I fail to see why this would be a topic that NEEDS to be discussed with a potential dating partner? It's not like you have anything contagious... not like you have a past criminal background ( right? lol jk) you're not married to anyone ( right? lol okay I'll stop) so I don't see why this would be need to know 411 when you start dating someone?
Jilly10340 Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 You don't need to tell anybody anything. If it comes up, it comes up
Author fastrider Posted September 24, 2004 Author Posted September 24, 2004 The thing is it is a big part of my life right now I am constantly thinking about it (I know I shouldn’t be). I count the calories of everything that goes in my mouth and I exercise a lot. maybe I am somewhat obsessed but I do not want to go back to the person I used to be but at the same time I want to enjoy my new life . My good friends say I talk about it way too much and that is what worries me. I might be going on my first date in a long time soon and I do not want to scare her off and seem like fitness junky but it happens to be a big part of my life now .
Merin Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Originally posted by fastrider The thing is it is a big part of my life right now I am constantly thinking about it (I know I shouldn’t be). I count the calories of everything that goes in my mouth and I exercise a lot. maybe I am somewhat obsessed but I do not want to go back to the person I used to be but at the same time I want to enjoy my new life . My good friends say I talk about it way too much and that is what worries me. I might be going on my first date in a long time soon and I do not want to scare her off and seem like fitness junky but it happens to be a big part of my life now . Well since you already know this is somewhat of an obsession for you and your friends have pointed out to you that maybe you need to relax about it being a topic of discussion..... then when you go out with this girl.... find other topics to discuss with her.
fredrolin Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 You should be proud of yourself. I have dated overweight women and with some of them I saw pictures from when they used to be thin. Even worse, I dated one very overweight girl (she was well over 300) for years and after we broke up I saw her and she weighed about 150!! Anyway, weight loss and exercise is a big part of your life; it's ok to talk about it.
LADYWOLFE Posted September 24, 2004 Posted September 24, 2004 Hey, I was reading your post, and realized that i could share my thoughts on the subject as well. I pretty much lost 1/2 my weight and started dating again over a year ago-- at first no conversation was brought up about me and the weight. HOWEVER, eventually i had to tell because i wouldnt eat a whole meal going out, i couldnt eat the sugars/fats, etc. so instead of looking like a total freak, I explained my situtation. Guess what? He never really cared what i looked like before, he knew me as who i was right then and there and that was all that matter.....and it helped elleviate the stress once i told him so I didnt have to keep pretending that i was this perfect size all along -- and on top of all that, we started doing biking, soccer, hiking etc together for the exercise -- great bonding moments!! My answer to you, is no way should you let yourself out there to start with, but you could say i have lost a lot of weight and i watch what I eat. Nothing wrong with that statement -- and since the whole world is dieting, everybody should understand. Good LUCK!
Author fastrider Posted September 24, 2004 Author Posted September 24, 2004 LADYWOLFE That is more of what I was planning to do but it still stresses me out . And I have not even given any thought to what I am going to do for dinner if we do go out to a restaurant I will look like a weirdo getting everything cooked dry (you guys get the picture). Oh well the more I think about it the more I come to the conclusion This is who I am and this is how I live my life and if the person dose not like that then that is there problem not mine . Thanks for advice guys and girls This weekend should be an adventure
LADYWOLFE Posted September 25, 2004 Posted September 25, 2004 My advice on the eating 'dry' food -- if you do salads -- ORDER ONE OF THOSE -- It makes it seem like you eat much more than you really do!! Just a little advice i used -- my man never knew until 6-8 weeks later, i am telling you, i didnt eat more than 1/2 a meal at a time -- but i knew how to keep talking and moving the food around -- he never noticed! GOOD luck, have fun and RELAX! I am all exicted for you!
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