youngnlove89 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 YA YA YA...I know the deal. "Why do you care?" and "Why are you even on a dating site this early in a breakup?" Let me explain... I'm on the dating site to snoop, not on my ex, but to just see what is out there. To look around. For an ego boost. And plus, I was bored and curious. Sue me. I didn't really put two and two together at first because I thought I just was losing my mind...that maybe I deleted it in my sleep or maybe the tooth fairy did it. I even went as far as looking in my internet history to see if I went to the site to delete it. It shows I didn't. At first I thought I had my password wrong, so I went searching for my username and it said that "user disabled account" I know for a fact I didn't do that. And then it hit me: my ex knows my main password I use for everything. Sh.t! Could he have done that? If he did, that is wrong! He has no right. A part of me doesn't think he would go that far, but who else would have? I guess I'm just posting this because I'm frustrated, angry and he needs to leave me alone! I'm tired of it. Today I woke up feeling great and I don't miss him. I am happy without him. But he needs to let me go! I don't want him back anymore. He needs to accept that. I've done everything I can to ignore him, but now he is taking it to another level!
KatZee Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 (edited) Change your password to your stuff. I think you should realize by now that your ex doesn't really give a s.hit about what you want or that you want to move on. He does whatever he feels like doing. Your claims of "he needs to leave me alone!" Are pretty redundant at this point. I feel like you get a feeling of satisfaction every time he pulls things like this because you absolutely REFUSE to do a thing to ensure he leaves you alone. That means: block his number, block his email, change your passwords. This is not rocket science. Come on already. Edited May 7, 2013 by KatZee 2
soccerrprp Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Curious. Any way to contact the OLD site and ask if they have the IP address that logged in when the account was disabled? Just curious. Anyway, this guy is acting like a pyscho...you dodged a bullet.
fancy feast Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Try not to dwell on it. Just change all your passwords (pro-tip: do this every few months and mix em up) and move about your business. Go get a date and have some fun.
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Nobody knows how I feel, but me. I did block him Katzee, yesterday, and I didn't think about passwords till that happened. But that won't stop him from showing up at my door.
KatZee Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Nobody knows how I feel, but me. I did block him Katzee, yesterday, and I didn't think about passwords till that happened. But that won't stop him from showing up at my door. It's called a restraining order. If you TRULY want to move on and you want him out of your life then nothing would stop you from achieving what you want.
soccerrprp Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 His tampering with your account, showing up at your door uninvited, nearing harassment, all need to be taken seriously. Let him know that you will not tolerate such intrusion and if possible, bring the authorities into this. Seriously.
KatZee Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Where are your parents? Have them answer the door if he shows up and let them tell him if he comes onto personal property again the cops will be called. You are also not obligated to answer the door if you're home alone.
stephgabriele Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Where are your parents? Have them answer the door if he shows up and let them tell him if he comes onto personal property again the cops will be called. You are also not obligated to answer the door if you're home alone. YEP. Parents are always willing to help their daughters out, especially when a man goes nutso. My Father was in the army and is now a cop. My Mom is 100 percent German and knows how to boss men around. Works like a charm. 1
Tree_Salmon Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 YEP. Parents are always willing to help their daughters out, especially when a man goes nutso. My Father was in the army and is now a cop. My Mom is 100 percent German and knows how to boss men around. Works like a charm. haha! I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I like you already. everyone's correct. You don't have to do anything. And you know me by now younglove, you are only keeping yourself in this world by allowing him to penetrate (yes) your life. he's an irreversible loser. he's not going to rest until he makes you one. douche mouth 1
KatZee Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 haha! I don't know who you are or where you came from, but I like you already. everyone's correct. You don't have to do anything. And you know me by now younglove, you are only keeping yourself in this world by allowing him to penetrate (yes) your life. he's an irreversible loser. he's not going to rest until he makes you one. douche mouth Lol you said penetrate. 2
Tree_Salmon Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 YEP. Parents are always willing to help their daughters out, especially when a man goes nutso. My Father was in the army and is now a cop. My Mom is 100 percent German and knows how to boss men around. Works like a charm. Sorry younglove and katzee, steph is my new Loveshack girlfriend.
KatZee Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sorry younglove and katzee, steph is my new Loveshack girlfriend. Now who's being the creepy one? 1
stephgabriele Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Sorry younglove and katzee, steph is my new Loveshack girlfriend. Bahahaha! Perfect. Thanks for making me smile.
Toddbt12y1 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Lol. Change the password, or start a new one with a new password. Get them to run a tracert, and find out who logged in on it. He is crazy, as everyone says. I would be mean, and post on my other profile "I found the one!" or something whatever it allows. But that would probably encourage him. Just ignore it. Some diseases go away if you just ignore them. He is just that. Miss hotstuff change your passwords 1
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 but but but....TREE!! I thought you were my cyber boyfriend So back to topic...I can call the dating site line and ask them to trace the IP address? How the heck do you do that? I don't know his IP address?
Author youngnlove89 Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Ignore this advice. They are not going to release that information to you unless you get an attorney. Plus you know who did it anyway. Just change your passwords and be done with it. You are right. But I like answers. I just just ignore and move forward right?
Simon Phoenix Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You are right. But I like answers. I just just ignore and move forward right? Yes. No good will come from making contact with him in any way. Change all your passwords and keep moving forward.
KatZee Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 You are right. But I like answers. I just just ignore and move forward right? You like answers, yet you listen to no one. So what exactly is the point anymore? You can start 18 million more threads regarding your ex. The answer will always remain the same. Ignore and move forward. There will never be any deviation from this, you will never receive another answer.
Seachelle1 Posted May 8, 2013 Posted May 8, 2013 Youngnlove, What you do, of course, is your choice. You are making many excuses here and many of the people on here have said the same thing again and again. You keep trying things your way, writing prose when it doesn't work out. Users like the prose so you keep getting hits and you keep doing the same thing over and over. It's a neverending cycle. You would do well to join a writing group to write your emotional prose and then deconstruct your emotions-->actions-->pain--->prose cycle with the idea to understand yourself. Your response to life's pain is your choice. You are completely in control of how you respond and in control of pretty much nothing else. Choose well how you respond, it is your only power. Make the most of life, it is much too short. 10 years ago I was in a bad place thus living with the guy I was sexual with and in the middle of a crazy love triangle. I remember whining to a friend about how I'd been so badly done by, etc. She emphatically said: leave him, get out of the toxic situation. I trotted out my excuses: no home, abusive situation, rapist living in my hometown, out on parole and so on, so forth. She responded: go to the women's shelter in SF. She gave me numbers to call. I continued to make excuses and sit in the bad situation. So she went off on me, told me I was making my situation and I had to "pull myself up by the bootstraps." I stopped talking to her I was so butt hurt by her response but it was what I needed. I kept her advice in mind. Our friendship was ruined but she SAVED me. Everyone else was tip-toeing around me, patting me on the head. I'm a capable, brilliant, sweet person. I can take care of myself and not lean on a guy who drags me into bad situations. I don't need people pandering to the vagaries of emotion. It's not doing anyone any favors to pander to your emotion. So stop this cycle already. I've been there, I get it. I know the only solution: Get the hell out and then pull yourself up by the bootstraps. Go to counseling. You want numbers of psychologists? I'll find them for you. Or some of the many people on here will find them for you, I'm sure. Hell, I'm sure some of us will look up insurance and other legalities. Just say the word and then ACT on the information. Words are only worth something when we act alongside them. I've worked in a women's shelter, I've seen the women come through crying about the ex that tried to kill them or raped them or whatever. And then they go back to the p.o.s. I've been that woman. There's that type of pathology in your thinking and you desperately need help. Get help. Reach out. Do more than write prose. (Ever read John Irving's "The World According to Garp"?) You're smarter than this, and us, your readers, are smarter than this. I have NO respect for this ridiculous cycle. Get help, accept help. Do this for yourself, not for your emotions. You're not a kneecap, you're a human girl. Don't be the passive, miserable woman to whom things happen to. 1
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