Should I be her friend and see how it goes from there or should I just not bother?

[Korias]

I'm in a dilemma.. Five months ago I met a girl on the bus that I really connected with; we've talked two more times after that on the same bus for a total face-to-face time of 30-45 minutes.

 

Today, after five months, I saw her again. We talked, and she immediately remembered who I was (I didn't recognize her until after a bit)..

 

Anyways, we talked about random stuff, and I mentioned inbetween that I missed her. She smiled a bit at this, but she was being more reserved than usual. Anyways, she got off at her stop and we said bye, but I decided not to think and got off with her.

 

I walked next to her and said to her "My friends always tell me that when I like someone, I should not think about whether or not I should do something nice to them; I should just do it. I like you, so let me walk you to school." She whispered, "As friends right?" I mumbled "Mhmm." I mean she obviously know that's not the case. I told her I was skipping my class for this, which she said I shouldn't do, but I said it's fine. I told her then that if she didn't want me to walk her to school, she could tell me to leave and I would have. She said she didn't mind so we walked.

 

Anyways, we talked a bit more until her bus came. When we boarded it, it was quite crowded so we had to sit right next to each other. Now here's the interesting part: prior to this, she always made eye contact with me and talked normally in that it wasn't a one-side conversation. Yet, on this bus, she barely made eye contact with me, as if she was nervous, and did not even talk much (I did most of the talking, and it was just about normal things like what music you like, summer plans, etc.). At one point, I asked her what her favorite movies were and she said "I watch a lot blah blah. Sometimes when me and my boyfriend..."

 

That was the first time she mentioned she had a boyfriend throughout the whole thing (I acted normal of course). Anyways, her bus came to her school, and we said bye and went on our ways.

 

Now here's what I don't get.

 

1) She remembered me immediately after such a long time, which means she's either good with faces (which is probably the case) or that I affected her in an emotional way.

 

2) She LET me walk her to school, despite knowing that I was skipping a class. Also, she did not mention her boyfriend AT ALL during this whole event until the movies thing came up (which was when we were close to her school anyways). So, if you're dating someone, why the hell would you let some guy you met on the bus, and barely got to know, walk you to school when it's clearly obvious that he's doing it because he likes you as more than a friend.

 

3) She did not text at all during this, when usually that is what she does. I'm not dwelling on this too much but eh, worth mentioning.

 

4) Eye contact. On the first bus, and when we were waiting for her second, she always made eye contact with me and talked normally. However on the second bus, when we were practically squished, she did not make any eye contact at all and barely talked. Was she nervous around me?

 

5) She didn't mention she had a boyfriend until towards the end.. There were plenty of opportunities she could have mentioned him. Hmph...

 

So my question is this: should I try to be friends with her with the intention of eventually dating her? Whether or not our friendship gets ruined because of the fact I ask her out when she's single (if she becomes single) won't affect me at all: I just want to go out with her. Or, conversely, should I not bother at all? Let me know what you think.

 

One additional detail: normally, I would not bother, but I believe that this girl could be my Juliet. Idk though, heh. Thanks!!

[justin1988]

I over think this kind of stuff too. She intentionally mentioned the bf so you would know she was taken. If she was interested she would have kept it to herself so she could continue to get to know you better and decided if she should lose the bf and pick you instead. As for the change in the way she acted she could have just been feeling guilty about potentially leading you on or talking to another guy when she's already in a relationship. Also being in a tight space with someone who likes you but you're not into is really uncomfortable so that might explain it too. But hey, I don't see any reason you couldn't be her friend and lay down some groundwork for a potential future breakup. Just don't focus on her so much that you miss out on other potential girls or get let down if the breakup doesn't happen. As long as you don't make it more than it is, being her friend would be a good call. You also might want to add the next time you see her that you are sorry if you came on too strong and are fine with being just friends. I think she'd respect that and it could ease any awkwardness that might be floating around.