Ed the 3rd Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 So long story short we were at a club we were drunk we messed around (Kissing, butt grabbing, grinding) and I asked her out. While she is very nice I'm not looking for a relationship with her. I was drunk then but I'm not now. I don't know where to go with this really. Part of me wants to honor what was said and just take her out on a date but the other part of me feels like that would be leading her on. Like I said she is nice and I don't want to hurt her feelings but I'm having trouble finding what could hurt her the least. I would just drop the whole thing but I know her friends and in the end of the day that would be the worst choice. A friend said a date would do no harm but I feel she may try to take things further and rejecting her at that point would hurt the most. Yet telling her now would be a complete U turn from the impression i gave her. Any ideas guys/girls? Maybe I should just tell her that I'll still go out but I'm not interested in a relationship? I could really use some help here. perhaps from someone experienced in these matters.
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Hurting her the least would be to message her to say that she is a very attractive girl, you are attracted to her, but because you don't want a relationship and don't want to hurt her, it's better not to take things further.
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Everyone is responsible for their own pain and suffering. If you feel you're going to hurt her then don't bother dating her. And how exactly do I go about that lol? Just not reply to her texts and then get angry messages from her friends for the rest of my life? Its not a case of "not bothering" its a case of me giving enough of a damn to try to get out of this hurting her the least because I wouldn't want to be in her situation myself.
Joaquin Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Being connected to her socially is very awkward. I would say ask her out. She may even say no, which would be the best result for you. Just don't have sex with her accidentally. One date isn't going to be a big deal surely.
Author Ed the 3rd Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Being connected to her socially is very awkward. I would say ask her out. She may even say no, which would be the best result for you. Just don't have sex with her accidentally. One date isn't going to be a big deal surely.The problem is I already did while drunk. She said yes and texts me all the time. While I would be more then happy to "man up" and be honest like you said its being socially connected that screws me over a little because I have to think about more backlash then I would usually deal with. I could of not asked her out and this wouldn't be an issue hence why I feel guilty about just texting her telling her I'm not looking for a relationship. Shes nice and I think she would understand but I feel it the better outcome would come from just going out once (she wanted to go bowling) and leaving it at that. But that might just make it worse. Call me a wuss if you like but I don't like hurting nice people; there is far too few of them left around here.
justin1988 Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 You're no wuss. Just sound like a nice guy to me. Personally I'd go on the date. I don't think anyone could really question you for going on ONE date and then saying you had a good time, she's really nice, but you just don't feel a connection and would prefer to just be a friend to her. Or not if shes the kind of girl that would view friendship as more than it is. "Stringing her along" would have a worse social fallout than breaking the date. If you do go out with her just make sure you're not flirtatious in any way and do nothing to give her the wrong idea.
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