crispywat Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 have met a woman a few weeks back, at the time i was seeing 2 girls but soon nipped that in the bud to put all eggs into one basket so to speak. We have been dating and each date was great things progressed this after texting plenty of time. Now yesterday we had a lovely day out and had a picnic etc which was fantastic, we got to her house kissed and agreed we would meet in the week. So to my horror later on in the evening she has given me the "just friends" thing. She says she isnt sure we have chemistry and it feels like its unrepairable, all was fine till last night, she finds me attractive too apparently but still thinks we are in the friends bracket not relationship material. How can this be after such a nice day of holding hand...kissing etc in the sun? She has said its not all over but will think about things over the next few days to see where her heads at....what do i do? I dont get it as everything seemed fine......she works a hell of alot and this weekend was a welcome break, have i been used maybe ? She is busy all week i know of this :-( i havent really given her a full on kiss maybe that as it but she never really gave me the eye to approve of it either.....but on text suggested she wants me and it....so whats occuring! she has since text ying she will text me in a few days when her heads sorted ? Please any advise people ? ? ? ? HELP
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Maybe she didn't feel "the spark" when you kissed? Or maybe she found someone she was more attracted to. In a nutshell, you don't turn her on sexually. In any case, I feel your pain, but the only thing is to move on. If it's meant to be, it's going to happen. I'm really sorry you are disappointed.
Author crispywat Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 But how can you go from Sat night - she said she cant wait to see me etc etc...and was texting me likemad after we ended the night. All was fine suggeting things etc....to the next day being a complete wash out even though she thinks i am "great" and her weekend was fabulous which was down to me, yet she isnt interested. I guess her saying she needs a few days to sort her head is a soft way of letting me go. I think she may of used me maybe but defiantely led me onto think we had a future which all texts and chats we had implied. The kiss thing has nt been a massive one just a kiss on lips (no tongue or anything)
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 (edited) She is simply not sexually turned on by you and/or had someone else in the wings that turns her on more. Doesn't mean you'll not be attractive to other women. Be more bold next time, maybe (I don't mean use tongue). I'm so sorry. I do know the feeling, it happens to both genders, from being gung ho and texting every day like crazy, to complete disappearance. They lose interest for some reason, probably different reasons men/women, but it's not important why, it just is like that. The easiest way to get over it is to find quickly attention from another girl! good luck! I had things like these happen, from crazy texting and I want to see you now, I want now now now ,blah blha blah, then make out session, and poof. In these cases, when it happens to females I think it's just because the chase ends for them, if the guy is a player he's just into the chase not into you. When it happens to males, usually I think, she's simply not turned on by you and/or has someone else that showed up and she has the hots for that one. Possibly used you for attention. People date multiple people at once. Edited May 7, 2013 by BluEyeL 1
Author crispywat Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 i dont get though how you can be into someone one day then the next not, she was all over it Sat night , we not had much kissing etc maybe thats why. She obviously doesnt like me though, really wish she had said so that was our 5th date and the next was hoping to be more intimet we havent met at a house as she works and is tired alot of the time. I am really low about her and cant help thinking it is all my fault
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 i dont get though how you can be into someone one day then the next not, she was all over it Sat night , we not had much kissing etc maybe thats why. She obviously doesnt like me though, really wish she had said so that was our 5th date and the next was hoping to be more intimet we havent met at a house as she works and is tired alot of the time. I am really low about her and cant help thinking it is all my fault It is NOT your fault. It just wasn't meant to be, you were not compatible. If she acted like she was all over it, doesn't mean she was. For example, I'm talking now with a guy I haven't met yet, but he wants to take things super slow, writes 1-2 messages a day and calls me every other day. When he calls, I'm mostly bored, but when he said he's thinking about me, I replied me too, just didn't know what to say and wanted to be polite. In my case, I want to see him first to know if I like him or not, I don't put any importance on these interactions at this point. My point is that you don't have to put so much weight on what someone says, many people just do it because they are not sure yet and they want to be nice and move things along until they figure out what they want/feel. I know it will take you some time to get over this, but it will eventually go away. Good luck!
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